作文贴by stoptalking 真的勇士，敢于面对血淋淋的砖头

longxue26UID：2687755

12# stoptalking

Communal online encyclopedias may be the future of organizing encyclopedias, because it has many respects like <中国式英语>traditional printed encyclopedias while it is finished online by all internet users.您这句 忒~长~了 But the reading passage, questions that the communal online encyclopedias still have some serious problems which make them less valuable than traditional ones.  About these, the lecturer opposes the opinions of the reading passage one by one. 开头好具体啊 我也不知道好不好

First, the reading passage argues that online encyclopedias lack academic credential, owing many inaccuracies in their cases. But in terms of error, the lecturer points out that comparing with the long time for traditional encyclopedias to correct their errors, online ones can correct their errors more easily and efficient. 我觉得加一句 那个  traditonal encyclopedia也有很多错误 就更好了哈

Second, the reading passage doubts the safety of online encyclopedias, as everyone has the opportunity to fabricate, delete and corrupt the information of online encyclopedias. The lecturer states that there are two methods to prevent the information being spoiled, one is using a reliable format, and another is hiring an editor to obverse<observe> the whole correcting.

Third, the reading passage thinks online encyclopedias confuse the values of the society, paying too much attention to the popular things. For lecturer, this is the value of online encyclopedias: reflecting the true interest of the public and showing the real world. 我记得还有一点吧 我也没写 就是 online的百科全书 topic 很多 academic article 非常丰富

很简洁! 不错

stoptalkingUID：2807919

14# longxue26

我等级不够，还不能用附件呃
独立写作那一篇，是我的逻辑有问题，写起来就更说不清楚了
直接点没关系啊，只要指出问题就好了
谢谢啊

estopUID：2864494

Communal online encyclopediasmay be the future of organizing encyclopedias, because it has many respectslike traditional printed encyclopedias while it is finished online by allinternet users. But the reading passage, questions that the communal onlineencyclopedias still have some serious problems which make them less valuablethan traditional ones.  About these, the lecturer opposes theopinions of the reading passage one by one.  {2 S7 u# s; U
6 Y5 c4 M1 O. t" G( B: E
First, the reading passage argues that onlineencyclopedias lack academic credential, owing many inaccuracies in their cases.But in terms of error, the lecturer points out that comparing with the longtime for traditional encyclopedias to correct their errors, online ones cancorrect their errors more easily and efficient.8 K# m$ V7 t; L" e' [" `

Second, the reading passage doubts the safety of onlineencyclopedias, as everyone has the opportunity to fabricate, delete and corruptthe information of online encyclopedias. The lecturer states that there are twomethods to prevent the information being spoiled, one is using a reliableformat, and another is hiring an editor to obverse the whole correcting.

Third, the reading passage thinks onlineencyclopedias confuse the values of the society, paying too much attention tothe popular things. For lecturer, this is the value of online encyclopedias: reflectingthe true interest of the public and showing the real world.

第一段没必要说的太具体，因为reading 和lecture肯定是相反的，说一个，然后说另外一个相反就行了，没必要吧另外一个也说具体了，要不然第一部分words太多不太好。

综合写作一般来说，7分听力部分3分阅读部分，用一些连接词说明相反就行。要是可以的话，把阅读部分的缩写改写也行。

第三段少了space的说明吧。

stoptalkingUID：2807919

独立：
2009.2.21
　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement
　　Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country. (Media)


独立：
2009.2.21
　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement
　　Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country. (Media)

We are used to acquiring information from newspapers and magazines, for they are in time and easy to get. Many people believe that newspapers and magazines are also the best ways to learn about a foreign county, however, I disagree with the statement because I consider traveling is much better to understand a foreign country.

Comparing with reading newspapers and magazines, it is an more effective way to observe a foreign country by traveling. All the information we acquire from media is written and photographed by the journalists. We watch the strange and distant country through their eyes, and our imaginations are inspired by their attractive descriptions. How can we suppose we can really understand a country by this way? It is possible that what we think we have known about a country is far less than a miner part of it. Also, it is common for journalists to select the most exciting part of a country to introduce, moreover, they cover the facts intentionally and twisting reality.

I've realized this by a recent travel to Hong Kong. Before the trip, I have collected lots of materials from newspapers and magazines. I was so impressive with the grand and modern buildings, the resplendent fashion items, and the various kinds of entertainments introduced by the mass media, that I dreamed that I would go to a wonderland of fast living and luxury. Whereas, despite the modern and elegant sight of Hong Kong, the great disparity between rich and poor seldom reported by the media, gave me the unforgettable image. It's hard to wipe out the scene of an old lady sitting in a cage, which can only contain one person, saying that it was her house. The payment of the prosperity in Hong Kong is the sacrifice of this silent crowd. However, this tragedy rarely appears on newspapers and magazines comparatively.

Therefore, as far as I'm concerned, if you want to know a foreign country, the best way is to travel around the country, talking to the local people and exploring this country by yourself. Reading the newspapers and magazines enables you to know the basic situation of a country, but it is superficial, sometimes even not worthy of confidence. In a word, I oppose the idea that newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country, and I believe that traveling is the best.

stoptalkingUID：2807919

Tpo 7 综合
In the lecture, the speaker provides analternative explanation of the attitude of US companies to ecocertifiedproducts. The speaker opposes the writer's three points one by one.

First, while the writer states that USconsumers care little about the content of the advertisement, the speakeropposes the claim. The speaker points out those consumers react favorable tothe ecocertified products; especially the certification is made by anassociation with international reputation.

Second, contrary to the passage, speakerthinks although consumers are sensitive to price, they also value eco-products.Moreover, a study has already indicated that only when the price of a productis more than 5% higher than other ones of same quality, consumers will care.

Third, what affects US companies most iswhat actions foreign companies will take in US, instead whether they areinternational companies or not. They cannot be slow to catch consumers, whichforces them to produce products as consumers expect, such as eco-product.

In conclusion, the speakeris positive to the activity of issuing certifications to ecological companies,which is opposite of the reading passage

greenegeUID：2886404

独立：
2009.2.21
　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement; y: D9 E% i8 I& C; H- b
　　Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country. (Media)
- a8 k3 _# A1 G" l" ~+ Z; ?
We are used to acquiring information from newspapers and magazines, for they are in time and easy to get. Many people believe that newspapers and magazines are also the best ways to learn about a foreign county, however, I disagree with the statement because I consider traveling is much better to understand a foreign country., }, A8 o: @3 x0 N% G  
开头是个普遍形式的开头，没有平淡无奇因为稍稍有点带出的感觉。我觉得挺好的~!
Comparing with reading newspapers and magazines, it is an（这里是an吗?虽然an effective way，但是已经有more了应该就近还是a吧?） more effective way to observe a foreign country by traveling. All the information we acquire from media is written and photographed by the journalists. We watch the strange and distant country through their eyes, and our imaginations are inspired by their attractive descriptions. How can we suppose we can really understand a country by this way? It is possible that what we think we have known about a country is far less than a miner part of it. Also, it is common for journalists to select the most exciting part of a country to introduce,(我觉得这里可以直接断句.Moreover做开头) moreover, they (这里用may migh 或者perhaps比较好。最好不要以偏概全。选择委婉的口气说不但留有余地，且让文章更有科学性)cover the facts intentionally and twisting reality." M9 J: s( m( x% X/ l
这段很不错呐!
(衔接性单词没有,鉴于你已经用过moreover,你可以使用,furthermore, in additon, additionally等等.)I've (建议正式考的时候不要这样写缩写喔。因为缩写代表了informal.而且你分开写的话还能充字数!)realized this by a recent travel to Hong Kong. Before the trip, I have collected(had collected比较好，事情发生在trip前，即是过去的过去.把握用时态的机会哦!)lots of materials from newspapers and magazines. I was so impressive with the grand and modern buildings, the resplendent fashion items,(学你的形容!) and the various kinds of entertainments introduced by the mass media, that I dreamed that (我觉得这个that可以省略)I would go to a wonderland of fast living and luxury. Whereas, despite the modern and elegant sight of Hong Kong, the great disparity between rich and poor seldom reported by the media, gave me the unforgettable image. It's hard to wipe out the scene of an old lady sitting in a cage, which can only contain one person, saying that it was her house. The payment of the prosperity in Hong Kong is the sacrifice of this silent crowd. However, this tragedy rarely appears on newspapers and magazines comparatively.+ c: Y; W/ S- `( P; `' f% L

Therefore, as far as I'm concerned, if you want to know a foreign country, the best way is to travel around the country, talking to the local people and exploring this country by yourself. Reading the newspapers and magazines enables you to know the basic situation of a country, but it is superficial, sometimes even not worthy of confidence. In a word, I oppose the idea that newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country, and I believe that traveling is the best.结尾驳斥都挺好的啊~挺有力的!

Suggestion,再加一个reason吧.一般都3个嘛.
虽然说2个高质的一样能拿到好分.但是谁也不知道高质到底要有多高。所以保险期间加一个吧!!!
我觉得你词汇和句式都挺不错的！有时候长句用多了就试试短句吧，穿插在一起才会令人赏心悦目。毕竟考官也是人嘛。嘿嘿~

stoptalkingUID：2807919

21# greenege
谢谢你的评价，很用心也很可爱~
关于观点的问题，我也知道多一个点可以更高分一点，但因为我实在想不出来了，就没写下去了……
长句的问题，你不说我是真没有注意到，因为一直担心自己写得太中式，就不断运用长句，下次我会注意的^^
细节方面我下次会更注意些，谢谢！

superchaosUID：2863434

Tpo 7 综合
In the lecture, the speaker provides analternative explanation of the attitude of US companies to ecocertified products. The speaker opposes the writer's three points one by one." m% T2 D# U0 {( x: b5 v

First, while the writer states that US consumers care little about the content of the advertisement, the speaker opposes the claim. The speaker points out those consumers react/are favorable to the ecocertified products, especially whose certification is made by an association with international reputation." c, X  p' j* S/ M. G7 F* X

Second, contrary to the passage, speaker thinks although consumers are sensitive to price, they also value eco-products.Moreover, a study has already indicated that only when the price of a productis is 5% higher than other ones of same quality, consumers will care.

J% R# V' N: w" }/ z0 g8 k6 ^* f
Third, what affects US companies most is the actions (或者去掉 actions,保留what) foreign companies will take in US, instead/regardless whether they are international companies or not. They cannot be slow to catch consumers, which forces them to produce products as consumers expect, such as eco-product.8 Q" }9 v4 Z' n% x

In conclusion, the speaker is positive to the activity of issuing/granting certifications to ecological companies,which is opposite of/to the reading passage.

写的挺好的,思路清晰...很简练~~

stoptalkingUID：2807919

23# superchaos
哇，谢谢，你不改我都不知道自己有这么多小错误

bearseuUID：2873933

23号的独立修改好了

louisa427UID：2458920

已批改

stoptalkingUID：2807919

825
独立：

2009.2.27

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:

A job withmore vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary butless vacation time.
(Work)


As the rapid-pace world has always beenimposing increasing living pressure on people, there is a tendency to sacrificevacation time in order to get a higher salary job. However, as far as I amconcerned, a job with more vacation time but low salary is better than a jobwith a high salary but less vacation time.

Whichever job we choose, the final goal isto live a happy life. Although accomplishments on work can bring ussatisfaction and self-affirmation, there are only small parts of life. We stillneed time to stay with our families, communicate with friends, keeping healthyand enjoying the nature. We have a lot to achieve in our life besides working;moreover, some of them are much more important than sitting in an office,typing the endless workload.

We have already heard lots of examples ofthe hard-working white collars: they devoted all their passion to working whenthey were young, neglecting their health and family, in order to earn a highsalary to satisfy the various material desires. Every time exhausted afterworking, they comforted themselves that they would obtain happiness in thefuture. Whereas, when they became too old to fit any job, what they can do wasjust sitting at home, regretting not to pursue the true happiness. So, if notwanting to become a member of them, we should give up the high salary,treasuring the vacation time. There are many factors that can make us happy.Money is not the only determining one.

What's more, our eagerness for money willnever stop. Greed pushes us forward, at the same time destroying us. There areabundant material incentives in the modern society, and we have been stimulatedand tempted all the time. Only if we get rid of all these temptations, will wenot become the slaves of money. The tragedy of Grandet has been passed down,ironically, human’s greed of money never lessens, even becoming stronger.

Due to the factthat more vacation time is beneficial to lead a happier life and human’s pursuitof money never has an ending, therefore a job with morevacation time but a low salary is better.

makeithappenUID：2585223

　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement
　　Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country. (Media)

We are used to acquiring information from newspapers and magazines, for they are in time and easy to get. Many people believe that newspapers and magazines are also the best ways to learn about a foreign county, however, I disagree with the statement because I consider traveling is much better to understand a foreign country. I like your beginning

Comparing with reading newspapers and magazines, it is an more effective way to observe a foreign country by traveling. All the information we acquire from media is written and photographed by the journalists. We watch the strange and distant country through their eyes, and our imaginations单数会好一些 are inspired by their attractive descriptions. How can we suppose we can really understand a country by this way? It is possible that what we think we have known about a country is far less than a miner part of it. Also, it is common for journalists to select the most exciting part of a country to introduce, moreover, they cover the facts intentionally and twisting reality.More example or a better transition about this statement would be better! it is obtrusive

I've realized this by a recent travel to Hong Kong. Before the trip, I have collected lots of materials from newspapers and magazines. I was so impressive with the grand and modern buildings, the resplendent fashion items, and the various kinds of entertainments introduced by the mass media, that I dreamed that I would go to a wonderland of fast living and luxury. Whereas, despite the modern and elegant sight of Hong Kong, the great disparity between rich and poor seldom reported by the media, gave me the unforgettable image. It's hard to wipe out the scene of an old lady sitting in a cage, which can only contain one person, saying that it was her house. The payment of the prosperity in Hong Kong is the sacrifice of this silent crowd.It is too absolute.... However, this tragedy rarely appears on newspapers and magazines comparatively.This example is excellent!

Therefore, as far as I'm concerned, if you want to know a foreign country, the best way is to travel around the country, talking to the local people and exploring this country by yourself. Reading the newspapers and magazines enables you to know the basic situation of a country, but it is superficial, sometimes even not worthy of confidence. In a word, I oppose the idea that newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country, and I believe that traveling is the best.
小小的感觉，论证说理过程不强。有点单薄，但是我觉得词汇量很好，例子很好。

stoptalkingUID：2807919

28# makeithappen
谢谢修改，的确论证是个比较严重的问题

estopUID：2864494

8-25独立改完了，有点晚，抱歉