cosetteusa 的独立写作贴

snowman0427UID: 2379423

cosetteusa 824作业~

shouyeeUID: 2774695

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career.


When it comes to the issue that whether young people should attempt to do some distinctive （感觉怪怪的，好像属于与众不同的含义，与different的含义不太一致）jobs before taking life（life-long） career（s）, there has been a heated debate on it. Some people contend that it is not necessary to try several different jobs ( when first start to work)at first. Others, like me, hold the (前文没出现过,感觉用an比较合适)opposite opinion. Among (these) countless factors which contribute to my position are the following conspicuous ones.

Initially, (b)Basic to any understanding of the benefits young people would get from distinctive jobs is that they would help us(最好不用第一人称) nourish significant abilities. First and foremost, works（work不可数，jobs） ranging from clerk to waiter/waitress(可数，clerks to waiters/waitresses) are conducive to (help cultivate)our communicative ability. Picture the(前文没出现过,感觉用the不合适)friendly conversations with the(前文没出现过,感觉用the不合适)customer who intends to have a dinner, visualize the(前文没出现过,感觉用the不合适) uncomfortable negotiations with the(前文没出现过,感觉用your合适) boss who takes advantage of you. By taking distinctive works work不可数，jobs） and undergoing those situations, young people, directly or indirectly, learn the tact of coping with the complicated(这里用sophisticated老于世故的比较合适) relationship with others, which exercise( exert) a far-reaching and favorable impart on their future career(s). In addition, some jobs can help us to cultivating(cultivate) our symbiotic ability, which is also irreplaceable in our career(s). For instance, hardly can work(,) such as building a house and(or) mending a road(,) be finished by one person efficiently and effectively. Team work is incontrovertibly needed(essential), and therefore(,) the ability of cooperation consciously and subconsciously is fostered. Accordingly, it is no exaggeration to say that trying distinctive jobs is of (great)value.

Not only can taking different jobs benefit the abilities(ability) cultivation, but also can serve as a catalyst for finding out the(前文没出现过,感觉用the不合适,one’s) true interest. As is known to all, owing to lacking (of 删除)experience, it is little possible that a young person deeply knows his/her real interest, an interest that plays a significant role in his/her future career. Were it not for the true interest, hardly would a person try his/her best to sail through the work and enjoy it. Once all people do not endeavor to complete their work, the development of the society will be stagnant. However, attempting to do several distinctive works（work） may shoulder the responsibility of assisting people to pointing out his/her interest, in that it endows people with chances of choosing. To illustrate this, I can think no further than the case of my friend Yang Ming, who is a successful banker. Noted and eminent as Yang Ming is, he owns experiences of a variety of works（work） ranging from layer（lawyers） to teacher（s）. After trying those different jobs, Yang Ming finally（ is 删除）convinced that (being a) banker is the fittest job and his real interest. In a word, it is one's real interest that trying some distinctive work at the beginning can search for.

Admittedly, doing different jobs, to some extent, requires a tremendous amount of time, time that we can use to enhance our long term career. Nonetheless, (这个句型出现了3次，感觉太重复了)the advantages and merits brought by taking several distinctive works are so salient and conspicuous that they pronouncedly overwhelm its disadvantages. Thus, I am strongly convinced that young people should try to do some distinctive jobs before taking a long term career.

模板痕迹有点重，可以注意一下，例子衔接不太自然。我的作文也很不好，改得不当的地方多包涵，麻烦狠狠拍我的作文吧，谢谢啦

binghuoshenlongUID: 2670882

好了