大疯的作文贴

Icybaby77UID：2893399

加油哦。批好啦

dadafanUID：2659273

9.14独立作文
09.9 25NA do you agree or disagree: having jobs with low paying salary and being high secure is better than jobs with high salary but being easy to lost.,

dadafanUID：2659273

7.12

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
at home using computers or telephones is better than working in the office 10,5,22

TPO2

应小呆UID：3109940

欢迎你来改我的作文~

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1280678&pid=1775350653&page=4&extra=

It is（is it？） true as the speaker claims that working at home with using(去掉？) computers or telephones is better than working in the office? Perhaps some people would agree with that opinion, but others might have a negative attitude, and probably I will always be one of them. In my point view, this question is a much disputed one which almost all people would face, hence it is necessary to have a glance at both sides of the argument before we taking any assertion.（GMAT的模板句诶，一点都不改吗？）

Generally speaking, it is quite easy for ordinary people to choose working at home by using computers and telephones for the obvious merit of this method --- without interruption. They would point out（？不太明白什么意思） that working alone . They they could calm down and pay the whole attention to tasks. To be frank, it is true that people will focus on the job when they have a serene circumstance, that is why so many poets, composers and writers always working（work？） at nighttime.

However, in the meantime, although（看起来有些芜杂） working along（？） at home has such a significant goodness（？可以这样用吗？）, the fineness of working in the office also cannot be underestimated; in other words, if we notice the benefits of working in the group, we will understand this question more deeply. Here I will explain a few of most important reasons.

One principal argument people who would choose working in the office has（something?） to do with convenience. They might argue that since working in the group, people could seek help from others and deal with the problem immediately. According to an authoritative research produced by a broad of experts, working in the group would have more efficiency than working alone in most cases. In addition, if there is any controversy, it is better to handle it face-to-face rather than on the telephone or by e-mail.(你这些理由让我想起TPO前五套里面有个综合协作还有个口语神马的是说这个working together的呢，O(∩_∩)O~)

Furthermore, another equivalent compelling statement the opposers to working along at home is about working atmosphere. Indeed, any person, with proper intelligence, would confess that working in a positively operative circumstance, people will feel much more energetic. And then, they would devote themselves into the job totally.

To sum up, from what was discussed above, we could finally draw the conclusion that （加个，不然leaving writers和working in the office 好像有点违和）leaving writers, although working along at home would have a calm condition, working in the office would be a more reasonable choice for people.

大疯君是不是用的模板什么的有点多呢？感觉文章怪怪的，好像小姑娘穿高跟鞋，前后不搭。
不过很多结构很不错！值得学习~
我能拿个小本儿记下来吗？
please~~~

dadafanUID：2659273

大疯君是不是用的模板什么的有点多呢？感觉文章怪怪的，好像小姑娘穿高跟鞋，前后不搭。
应小呆 发表于 2011-7-12 21:45

哈哈，小呆的形容还真有意思
这是我的主要缺点之一，要好好改啊
多谢修改

还有，下午我出门急，发现integrated writing没有上传成功
又补传了一下

dadafanUID：2659273

7.13作业

2010年3月6日
Which is better, challenging plans about one's future or practical plans about one's future?


Integrated Writing TPO3

dadafanUID：2659273

7.14

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
"The best way to improve the quality of education is to imcrease teachers' salaries."09,4,3
这题和刚写过还没改的一道题比较类似，就没重新写。
2010年11月13日---Do you agree or disagree with the following statement ：
To improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on professors' salaries.

Integrated writing TPO4

zw9191UID：2766986

我没法发附件，7月13日的改好了
http://clip2net.com/clip/m43814/1310646553-28691-36kb.doc

dadafanUID：2659273

我没法发附件，7月13日的改好了
http://clip2net.com/clip/m43814/1310646553-28691-36kb.doc
zw9191 发表于 2011-7-14 20:31

多谢指正，同学

sallyremyUID：3120928

18# dadafan

帮你改好了
记得帮我改呀，谢谢~

应小呆UID：3109940

欢迎你来改我的作文~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1280678-5-1.html


Should universities raise professors' salaries to improve the quality of education, as the speaker claims? Some people might hold an opposing position to this statement（他们与哪个观点相反？）, but I will agree with that in a sense. In my opinion, this question is a much disputed one which all the universities might confront, and we should take an over-round consideration before taking any assertion.（你把范围缩小了？但我觉得即使要缩小，最好强调一下大学教育具有代表性，不然就有偏题的感觉）

Generally speaking , it is quite easy for ordinary people（ordinary people这个限定有点窄，又说明强调为什么要这样限定） to disagree with rising professors' salaries to improve the quality of universities' education because of the obvious reason --- there are other lots of directly approaches to achieve this purpose. They would point out that the professors are not the only effective element which can impact the quality of education, and schools could make the quality of education better more directly by spending money to update teaching facilities, purchase books, improve lab and experimental instruments such as material thing. To be frank, increasing professors' salaries is not the only method for universities to choose, even not a straightforward one.

However, in the meantime, although there are other more directly approaches to increase the quality of education, we should not unfairly give rising professors' salaries a secondary priority. As far as I am concerned, this method also should not be underestimated; in other words, if we notice the greatly invisible benefits of it, we will understand this question more deeply. Here I would explain a few of the most important reason.

One principal argument of the supporters for rising professors' salaries has （加个something？一开始我没读懂这句话是什么意思....）to do with the teachers themselves. Any people, with proper intelligence, would confess that the professors also have to earn money for living, for sustaining their family, since they are similar as（to） other mortals（这词..虽然知道它有凡人的意思，但我第一感觉还是不共戴天的...顿时就被震惊了==）. Without worrying about the material well-being life（这个表达，有点奇怪...）, the professors could devote themselves into education more zealously. That is why so many schools, which want to improve their quality of education, always increase the faculty's salaries at the first step.

Furthermore, another compelling statement the proponents would argue is that people all have the conscience, and so do teachers. （有良知=知恩图报这一步最好还是强调一下，有M姓大神在批改柠檬糖作文的时候说过，提出一个论点，最好让它逻辑连贯滴水不漏，否则证明力就会大打折扣）In fact, with earning more salary, it is hard to imagine that professors would not devote greater enthusiasm into education.

To sum up, from what was discussed above, we could finally draw the conclusion that although there are other approaches to make the quality of universities' education better, increasing professors' salaries would be a more reasonable and efficient choice.

cherrycarrieUID：2943359

The lecturer completely disagree(s) with the idea presented in the reading material that dinosaurs were endotherms, and she produces（这个动词可以这么用么？我一般用offer/apply/provide） evidence to prove her view.

Above all, the reading material assumes that dinosaur should be endotherm since their fosisils (fossils) have been found at polar regions, and the animals that are not endotherms could not sustain that cold temperature. However, the speakers argues that at ancient ages the polar regions are much warmer than today, and even when the temperature became cold sometimes, the dinosaurs could migrate to warmer areas or hibernated (强听力啊，我没听懂- -). (during the months when polar regions were cold)

Subsequently, the professor goes on to refute （学习啦。反驳我一直不知道怎么说） the statement in the reading that dinosaurs had legs right underneath their bodies and that trait is the signal of endotherm because that structure makes sure that endotherms could make some kind of physical activities, such as （like）running. On the other hand, the speaker indicates that the function of underneath legs is to sustain dinosaurs' heavy body rather than running.

Finally, contrary to the assumption in the reading that the bones of dinosaurs did have structures like haversian canals, and that is another identity of endotherm. The lecturer in the listening material argufies that dinosaurs also have another kind of structure, which is the signature of non-endotherm, that could make dinosaurs grow much slowly. （既然有了contrary to,就把第一二句并成长句子吧，有逻辑的连贯性）Futuremore, the professor also points out that have both of these two kind of structures make dinosaurs could grow in a commutative speed, and that phenomenour （phenomenon） is the signature of non-endotherms.

我觉得楼主应该加大听力部分的比例，阅读的内容尽可能概括的少一点。
连词的使用有的时候有些怪，比如第三段的on the other hand 觉得很突然。
另：楼主有些词语或词组的使用感觉很不错~subsequently, refute, contrary to.学习啦。

欢迎来批我的作文~~~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1240367-2-1.html

cherrycarrieUID：2943359

Should universities raise professors' salaries to improve the quality of education, as the speaker (speaker？微怪) claims? Some people might hold an opposing (opposite) position to this statement, but I will agree with that in a sense.(纠结啊。。。) In my opinion, this question is a much disputed one which all the universities might confront, and we should take an over-round consideration before taking any assertion.
我觉得第一段的观点好纠结，最后一句话也没有说明到底你的态度怎么样。没有thesis statement。建议能简单概括你总的观点，开门见山。

Generally speaking, it is quite easy for ordinary people to disagree with rising professors' salaries to improve the quality of universities' education because of the obvious reason --- there are other lots of directly approaches to achieve this purpose. They would point out that the professors are not the only effective element which can impact the quality of education, and schools could make the quality of education better more directly by spending money to update teaching facilities, purchase books, improve lab and experimental instruments such as material thing. To be frank, increasing professors' salaries is not the only method for universities to choose, even not a straightforward one.
你先让步了= =？第一次见到，没有经验。。。

欢迎来批我的作文~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1240367-2-1.html

However, in the meantime, although there are other more directly approaches to increase the quality of education, we should not unfairly give rising professors' salaries a secondary priority. As far as I am concerned, this method also should not be underestimated; in other words, if we notice the greatly invisible benefits of it, we will understand this question more deeply. Here I would explain a few of the most important reason.

One principal argument of the supporters for rising professors' salaries has to do with the teachers themselves. Any people, with proper intelligence, would confess that the professors also have to earn money for living, for sustaining their family, since they are similar as other mortals. Without worrying about the material well-being life, the professors could devote themselves into education more zealously. That is why so many schools, which want to improve their quality of education, always increase the faculty's salaries at the first step.

Furthermore, another compelling statement the proponents would argue is that people all have the conscience, and so do teachers. In fact, with earning more salary, it is hard to imagine that professors would not devote greater enthusiasm into education.
这段很没有说服力诶。。。

To sum up, from what was discussed above, we could finally draw the conclusion that although there are other approaches to make the quality of universities' education better, increasing professors' salaries would be a more reasonable and efficient choice.

总的来说，行文不错，用词也不错。但是结构比较雷。用了最长的两段去做让步和过渡，但是支持你观点的确很少，也没有很清楚的论证，也没有相关的例子什么的，不太有说服力。

dadafanUID：2659273

7.15作业

2010年1月30日---Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
The government should support scientific research that does not have any practical use.

Integrated Writing TPO5