A类作文 求拍.

sepayneUID: 2715387

这是剑5T4的大作文..刚开始练大作文..字数刚刚够..
如果大大们能在打分之余给点提高的建议和更正..万分感谢


In the contemporary world, it has been atrend that many young students choose to work or travel for a year betweenfinishing high school and starting university studies, thus it causes quite astir. I will analyse the advantages and disadvantages of the phenomenon in thisessay.

It is generally believed that taking atravel before entering the university is helpful for young students especiallythose who major in art and literal. For instance, visiting a time-honored spotwill undoubtedly enrich one’s personal experience which always enlightens hismind and purifies his soul. Furthermore, convincing evidence suggests that moreand more companies require a working experience when offering a job; therefore,to work for a period of time, even with a low salary or free, will certainlybenefit the young students for the sake of a delighted future.

However, some individuals are arguing forbanning the encouragement to the students. Initially, it is a time-consumingactivity. As we know, students major in science and engineering do not have anurge to meet the gorgeous landscape and cultural spot; instead, they need to bemore skillful on their subjects. Thus, the second season is revealedsmoothly—it is a waste of money, especially for the poor ones. Present day isnot your time for enjoying but fighting. Lastly, many potential factorsendanger the students who think themselves adults while actually naïve, such astheft, robbery, gambling, cheating and sex violating.

So as far so I can concern, students mustthink twice before making their decision on this issue.

sepayneUID: 2715387

...筒子们..求调教- -谢谢

eweUID: 2891191

6-6.5分，基本没有什么大毛病。但有一些小小的表达问题和拼写错误， 高级词汇用的比较少…… 要提高的话，争取用一些高级词汇吧