作文求拍~~~

5橙UID: 2784075

C6 text 1
Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
my Outline:
1、开头  disagree
2、广告只是辅助，真正卖的还是goods和quality
3、竞争激烈，广告成为文化，针对目标客户

4、agree，会因为优秀的广告而去购买---能达到high sale---但是只是短暂的，如果不符合市场需要，还是会被淘汰。



         As the development of marketing, advertisement had played a significant role on the sales for the companies. Some hold that the real demand cannot be mirrored by advertising. Personally, I am in favor of the opposite point of view.(39)
         According to recent sales market, the main position is still the quality of goods, which built the foundation of high-selling. Just as the Economist said “the demand lead to the supply”, means that the supply of seller will obey the market economy rules to meet the needs of buyers as sufficiently as they can. The advertisement is just like a shining appearance which packed outside the goods. However, the customer will pay more attention on the inside. (77)
         It is quite natural that the advertisement has became a meaningful culture on such the keen competition of market. One of the most international-acclaimed companies called PEPSI always tried their best on the combination of goods and advertisements. They set the young people as their target customers and created a lot of wonderful advertisements, which still let the society needs as their first consideration. (64)
         Some people thought customers might buy the goods due to the fantastic advertisements, and the effectiveness of these cannot be denied. However, market experience showed the improvement effect of increasing figure is temporary. The customers were entitled to select appropriate goods through their willingness. Provided to the unqualified goods were introduced to the market, even the more attractive advertisements could not help the goods survive the campaign. (67)
         On the whole, great changes were taking place in the market, so it came as no surprise that advertisements’ contribution towards goods were no longer the same as before. But, the real needs of customers were still the inside of products, which would never be changed.（46）




多谢多谢！！

sally0218UID: 2858441

5.5-6

楼主的时态非常混乱啊。。还有不少语法错误。。建议写完后反复检查！

如果语法和时态得以改善 6分应该能保证 加油！

5橙UID: 2784075

多谢！！我也注意到了时态的问题了，那文章整体逻辑有什么问题吗？
2# sally0218

eweUID: 2891191

感觉一些句子不是太通顺,　逻辑的连接传承不够充分，陈述有跳跃性... 一些句子里会出现两个动词 (这是低级错误)．．．