[求助] 独立写作求评估 [复制链接]

xiaoxinshou
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发表于 2010-9-20 22:37:07 |显示全部楼层

本帖最后由 xiaoxinshou 于 2010-9-20 23:49 编辑

想请各位评估一下这样的独立作文是个什么水平.....底下几篇是平时练习写的，也不知写法什么的是不是对的，还想请各位有经验的指点一下（包括哪里应该提高或是应该怎么写更可能的高分以及写成这样大概是几分的水平）

081205NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Playing sports teaches people more lessons about the life.

Nowadays, sports have become an integral part of our lives because they can bring various benefits to people. However, different people are having differing opinions that whether or not playing sports can teach us lessons about the life. I believe that it is true that people can learn many things from playing sports.
On one hand, playing sports can teach us the importance of teamwork. The reason is that any competitive game, such as football and basketball, highly requires the cooperation between team members. It is impossible to win a game or beat the opponents, if a team only relies on a single player, no matter how skillful he or she might be. For instance, the most famous basketball star Micheal Jordan undoubtedly is a strong and skillful basketball player. But his team, the Chicago Bulls, had not won a single championship in Jordan's first 6 years in NBA. After the Bulls recruited some of the best players, such as Rodman and Pippen, they concentrate mainly on the cooperation. And then they became the best team, which won 6 NBA championships in 8 years. Therefore, playing sports, such as basketball, can teach people the importance of teamwork.
On the other hand, playing sports can also teach people the importance of persistence. The reasons are twofold. For one thing, if people give up when they come across some difficulties, it will lead to a failure without doubt. For another thing, although persistence may not make people successful finally, there still a strong probability that you'll come over the difficulties and achieve your goal in the end. There is an example can support my point. In 1996, Lance Armstrong, a famous American road racing cyclist, was diagnosed with cancer. Doctor said he has no more that 50 percent chance of survival. Then he underwent chemotherapy for one year. One year later, he was declared cancer-free, but he didn't give up the cycling and made a remarkable comeback by won 7 Tour de France championships. Thus, playing sports, such as bicycle, can also teach people the importance of persistence.
Of course what playing sports can teach us is far more than the above statements. For example, it also can teach people respect, honesty and so on. Therefore, according to the above statements, I believe playing sports can teach people lessons about the life.

090117NA 广告是否是不健康饮食的主要原因？

There is a general trend that more and more people are having an unhealthy eating habit. However, different people are having differing opinions about what the main cause is. Someone thinks that the advertisement is the main cause of the unhealthy eating habits. But I believe that advertisement is a cause of the unhealthy eating habit but it is not the main cause.
Admittedly, advertisement has some influence on people's unhealthy eating habits. For example, most of the ads are about some food which is either rich of sugar and calorie or less nutritious. However, I don't think it will cause more people to buy more junk food. Suppose that if someone really wants to drink orange juice, is it possible for him or her to buy a Coca-Cola instead of an orange juice just because he or she watches more times of Coca-Cola's advertisement? So it is true advertisement has some influence but there is many other factors play a more important role in causing an unhealthy eating habit.
On one hand, a busy time schedule may have a significant negative influence on people's eating habits. It is because that people who is very busy usually have a little time to have a dinner. Then they would eat only a little or so fast and sometimes even don't eat anything. And all of these eating habits are unhealthy. There is a survey can support my point. The survey, conducted by a prestigious agency, after polling thousands of white-collar workers who usually have a busy time schedule, found that nearly 20 percent of them don't eat breakfast and more than 60 percent of them spend only about 10 minutes to eat a breakfast. Therefore, from the survey we can see that a busy time schedule may lead to an unhealthy eating habit.
On the other hand, the improvement of living conditions also plays an essential role in causing an unhealthy eating habit. The reasons are twofold. For one thing, people now have enough money to buy something like meat and candies which is only affordable for the rich in the past. These foods are usually rich of sugar and calorie, so eating much of them will cause many diseases such as Hypertension. For another thing, eating at restaurant is no longer too expensive to people, so more and more people go to the restaurant more and more frequently. But the cooking way that usually using much oil is very bad for people's health. There are several statistics data can back up my point. One is that the proportion of the cost of meat to the cost of total food today is about five times higher than 10 years ago. Another one is that the average amount of oil using at restaurant is twice as many as average using at home. Therefore, we can know that the improvement of living conditions also may cause an unhealthy eating habit.
Due to the above statements, there are many factors may cause the unhealthy eating habits. So we can't simply say the advertisement is the main cause.

090530NA young school children（age 5-10）are required to study art and music in addition to math， language， science， history. Do you argree or disagree?

Nowadays, it is common practice that many young school children are required to study art and music in addition to math, language, science, history. However, different people are having differing opinions that whether or not children should be required to have these classes. Some of the parents think that their children shouldn't be asked to have these classes because they are less important. But I don't think so. I believe that music and art classes can bring huge benefits to children.
On one hand, music and art are helpful to improve children's academic performances. The reasons are twofold. For one thing, after a long time study, taking a class like art or music can relax their mind and let them have a greater efficiency on study after that. For another thing, music and art can also help children concentrate better because drawing pictures and playing music highly require people to focus on the picture and the music score. A recent survey can support my point. The survey, conducted by a prestigious agency of American, after polling thousands of young school students aged 8-10, found a causal relationship between playing piano or drawing pictures and significantly better average scores of these respondents. Therefore, music and art are good for children to improve their academic performances.
One the other hand, music and art may have a huge positive effect on your development in the future. The reason is that although you won't be an artist or a musician, it is hard to say art and music is useless to you. It is difficult to predict what kind of knowledge will be used in the future, so there is a strong probability for one to achieve success by using the knowledge which he or she never thought would be useful. For example, Steve Jobs is well known as the co-founder and chief executive officer of Apple, which is a computer company. One of the reason why their products, such as iPod, are wildly successful in the market is that their appearances which designed by Jobs are very fashion. And his talent of design should attribute to the classes, such as calligraphy, he took in his high school. Thus, from this example we can clearly see the positive influence of one's future development.
So due to the above statements, I thinks it is necessary for young children to take the classes like art and music.