剑5 Test4 Writing task 1 请大家帮忙看下 期待评分和修改意见 二战了

songshuang87UID: 2750824

The table gives the opening dates, length of routes and passengers per year in six cities, namely, London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles.

London, among the six cities, was the first to open underground railway systems, which was in 1863. Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC and Kyoto, following London, opened their underground railway systems in the later century. And in 2001, Los Angeles opened its systems, as the last one of the six.

London, owns the longest route, 394 kilometers and Paris, owning nearly half of London’s route, ranks the second. Los Angeles and Kyoto occupy the least route, respectively 28 kilometers and 11 kilometers.

Tokyo, although not having the longest route, transports 1927 million passengers per year, which is much more than the other five cities. Paris ranks the second place, as the other city that transports passengers over 1000 million per year. Los Angeles and Kyoto, for certain, transport the least passengers, respectively 50 million and 45 million per year.

In conclusion, the underground railway systems of the six cities vary a lot in the opening date, length of route and number of passengers.

anze881122UID: 2869703

完全看不出不好的地方捏。。。= =。
楼主已经要考第二次了吗？上一次的作文考了多少分那？~

songshuang87UID: 2750824

2# anze881122
呃…… 实在不好意思 上次作文只有5.5 于是很郁闷 我感觉Task1我根本就不会写 貌似不是简单介绍介绍数字就行的……

songshuang87UID: 2750824

完全看不出不好的地方捏。。。= =。
楼主已经要考第二次了吗？上一次的作文考了多少分那？~
anze881122 发表于 2010-10-4 22:23

呃…… 实在不好意思 上次作文只有5.5 于是很郁闷 我感觉Task1我根本就不会写 貌似不是简单介绍介绍数字就行的……

anze881122UID: 2869703

呃…… 实在不好意思 上次作文只有5.5 于是很郁闷 我感觉Task1我根本就不会写 貌似不是简单介绍介绍数字就行的……
songshuang87 发表于 2010-10-9 10:14

除了介绍数据 还要分析变化啦 对比啦 趋势啦什么的吧？。。。
楼主加油~哈~。。