第一篇argument~求拍！！另寻11月战友~

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这是第一次写文章，写了特别长时间，感觉很烂，希望大家给些建议，帮忙看看作文中有啥问题，不知道选的攻击点怎么样，文章顺序组织的怎么样，还有就是语言怎么样，以后再写尽量改正~先谢谢各位啦~ 我是11月5号的考试~有战友可以共同进步哈~qq：646667470~~ argument-1 In this argument, the arguer recommends that the next new store should be built in Plainsville since it will certainly bring high profits. To justify the claim, the arguer cites previous experience that their stores are most profitable in areas where residents care about healthy lives. In addition, evidences that the residents living in Plainsville have a great interest in exercising through merchant report and policies in schools are provided. This argument, however, is unconvincing for several critical fallacies. To begin with, a threshold problem involves the notion of "healthy lives" which the author fails to define clearly. The author arrives at the conclusion that people in Plainsville are concerned with healthy lives from the reported high sales of exercise apparel and the increasing number of people in health clubs. The two elements above nevertheless cannot necessarily assure that residents there share the interests in buying health food and health-related products. It is entirely possible that travelling tendency contributes to the high sales of exercise shoes and clothing. As for regularly exercising in health club, people may regard it as a wonderful way to relax themselves and a prefect occasion to communicate with families and friends which have nothing to do with the author's products. It is obvious that without defining "healthy lives", the author's conclusion is simply unconvincing. In addition, the author unfairly assumes that the store's profit will benefit from the "fitness for life" program. However, the author overlooks the fact that it is a program mandatory for students, not because of their own interests. If the a student is not willing to do exercise, he or she will not devote wholly into it. As a result, not only cannot they form the sense of health lives, but also they may develop a dislike of exercise, let alone counting on their purchases. On the other hand, even if a student has great passion on exercising and keep doing it regularly, it is also not necessarily for he or she to buy the products from the author’s store. Without considering whether the assumption is justified, the author cannot make any effective recommendations whether to the open the next store there. Finally, the author’s inference that the new store will go on according to the previous experience rests poorly on an addition assumption that all conditions on which the store achieves its profits depend remain constant in the foreseeable future. It is entirely possible that during the past, there were so few stores selling health food and other health-related products that people have to buy, if they want, in the countable existing stores without other choices. Then it is not unbelievable that every store shares high profits while , opposite the past, it is not the case at present. No one can foretell which store the consumer prefer. It is to say, the previous experience is not reliable, especially summarized long ago. In conclusion the author fails to provide valid evidence to strongly support his recommendation that the next new store should be built in P. To make it logically acceptable, the author would have to do deep-in researches in the current market and consumers’ need of the given field. Additionally, the author should also analyze what on earth contribute to their previous success.

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先自己顶吧~求赐教哈~~