【1106G】零散版友作文互改帖（Issue）

蒲若苇UID: 2669670

鉴于很多童鞋并没有参加作文互改小组，却仍想找其它童鞋互改文章，特开此贴，为这些零散版友提供一个改文提高的平台，希望每个参与者都能从中受益。

面向对象：全体版友（尤其是零散版友）
活动时间：即刻至2011年5月7日 （1106GAW考试时间结束）

活动内容：互改作文

活动规则：

1.接龙修改：按楼层由远及近的顺序选择最近一楼的未被修改且具备修改资格的版友习作进行修改，一般是你修改帖的上一楼。不允许随意挑选楼层修改。

2.互改操作：
（1）首先跟帖占一层楼写上“占位改**楼”的字样，但是不急着修改，以防被人占楼；
（2）然后立马将自己的一篇习作跟贴发上来；
（3）第三步才是返回编辑第一个帖子修改别人的文章。
（4）特殊情况：如果目前没有可供修改的文章，请等上一楼贴出来修改。

3.批改要求：认真，仔细，负责

将你要批改的习作粘贴到修改楼中，在原文中修改即可。最好用不同颜色的文字进行修改，从文章的行文结构，逻辑推理，立意正否等方面进行评论，当然，最后请提出你自己的看法和建议。

4.习作要求：

（1）提交前首先自己用Word检查语法及拼写错误，并进行至少一次的全文修改。
（2）为方便他人修改，理解你的立意及行文思路，推荐附上自己列的中文或英文提纲。

5.奖惩措施：

（1）奖：认真及时修改他人习作者，加3~5声望或10~20寄托币。
（2）惩：有以下行为之一者，扣1~2声望或10~15寄托币：

         a.占楼后未在24小时内修改者
         b.只发自己习作未改他人者
         c.不按接龙规则，随意挑选楼层修改者


请参加的版友本着认真的态度改文及上传习作，
你的负责才会换回他人的信任和负责！

以上规则参考自江雪版主帖子：
1010G零散版友作文互改帖（Issue）https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1118991-1-1.html

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

Issue: education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.

In asserting that education must be designed as solely individual-oriented, the speaker raises some widely discussed and complex questions----about specialty of education vis-à-vis generality of education. Ultimately, however,（两个词貌似没什么联系） the answer should be judged under the criteria of the true value and efficiency of education realized in individual. In terms of this standard, I personally believe that specialty and generality of education is by no means in conflict. However, on the contrary, (略显重复)they are closely coherent and relevant to each other. The reasons are as follows.

Indisputably, specialty is crucial to maintain the value of education. There is an old saying in China by Confucius, “teach students in accordance with their aptitude”, （老外一般是不懂的）which asks teachers to modify their way of teaching to suit the special requirements of each class or case. It is simply right. Let me take the growing plants as an example. When we are going to grow a plant or flowers, we must have got some knowledge about how to cultivate a certain category of vegetation. Or to put it in another way, we must know how much heat and moisture should be applied to them according to their differentiated needs. Likewise, to teach a student also need a good understanding of his specific interest, disposition, level, etc. A good teacher is capable of involving there specialties as much as possible in his teaching method so that students may not feel being neglected by their teacher and their positive study motivation can thus be more easily aroused. Similar evidence of the importance of specialty can also be found in the philosophy of Karl Max in which he indicates that the specialty of a certain thing must be taken into consideration when we deal with it. Form all these, we can see the pivotal role of specialty in education.

But dose this necessarily mean that only by meeting the specific needs of individual are we able to guarantee the effectiveness of education? My answer is, “no”.

Still, according to Karl Max, the general character shared by different individual things should never be neglected. It is true that every individual is born different.（in difference） However,(出现的频率有点高) if we see from （觉得有点累赘）another perspective, each person is actually the same. Why? We are all belong （两个动词？）to the same species—human beings, and we all treasure some general merits such as loyalty, morality, compassion, etc. And on the other hand, we condemn the evil things such as murder, infidelity, treacheries, etc.（可以换种表达） What I want to say here is that there does exist generality in human beings. Therefore, as an essential part in human’s personal development—education, shall never place too much concern on individual needs while keep（keeping） a blind eye on the common features shared by people as an member in this whole and integrate human community.

Another reason to argue for the generality in education is based on the character of education itself. Unlike physic exercise, the benefit of education is always not immediately exhibited in people. It is most of the time intangible and invisible that we may hardly be aware of its existence. That’s why we often hear people complain that some of their knowledge taught in school is utterly useless. As a result, most of them will easily tend to concentrate their mind merely on those subjects that seem to provide more immediate material returns to their education. However this is very dangerous and harmful. Because what they fail to know Is that some of the subjects which they may not like, for example, the history, do help shape their view towards this world, broaden their horizon, sharpen their sense of humanity which are all fundamental virtues for their personal life and career. Therefore, if allowed to select their education totally freely and arbitrarily, some of the necessary factors may be ignored and people ultimately will taste the bitter fruits grown by their initial blind choice. We shall never let this happen.(论据与论点的关系有点偏移)

In fact, specialty and generality can produce much more advantage when they are combined together rather than separated apart. As the contradictory two sides of a paradox, they can bring about a myriad of advantage when the balance is achieved in between. Nonetheless, the lack of each of them will inevitably bring inefficiency and finally lead to harm.

In sum, specialty and generality are both core elements in education. In the light of individual development, they shall be combined effectively together rather than being taken apart artificially from another. They are simply relevant and inseparable!

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

69"Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development"

Is it necessary for a government to exert overmany restrictions on scientific research and development? Some people assert that science is indubitably a kind of pure subjects and should not be intervene by authority. However, from my perspective, scientific research and development are closely interrelated with our current way of life and also accompany a certain amount of danger, which may be out of control and threaten people’s health without restriction. Therefore, Government should implement an effective management to these researches.

Generally speaking, scientists in the researches are simple and easy to donate themselves into the experiments so that they are possible to be misled and utilized to excogitate some dangerous things by careerists which may bring disasters to our society, such as Human Cloning, biochemistry weapon, the nuclear bomb, without the controlling. In addition, without substantive financial support by the government, scientists would find it difficult to carry out large-scale projects because some scientific researches require a great amount of experimental raw materials and money, especially some rare resources which are entirely grasped by authorities. Thus, governments fund an investment a large number of manpower and financial resources that they must want to gain something in it, so the governments need to ensure that the experiment is on the basis of their estimating.

However, science plays an indispensable role in any advanced, creative and burgeoning realms. Free research plays a positive effectiveness in increasing invention and progress. Too many restrictions may encumber the development of science that we can see in the past decade years. Official’s restriction of the scientific research not only controls the directions and goals of researches but the outcome and results of the research as well. Some scientists even disappeared later because of their threats to the safety and stability of the nation. As a result, no significant discovery or invention occurred.

Moreover, it is obvious that the indemnification of most people’s benefits relies on the legitimate supervision of authority during the process of scientific research. By this I mean, scientific research and development are a double-edged sword that can be used equally for good or evil. If not properly controlled, it will bring disasters to us. Some researches are beneficial for improving the development of society; however, at the same time, they are awfully dangerous which are probable to kill millions of people’s life in a blink of an eye due to an insignificant heedlessness. For instance, the investigation of nuclear energy is now one of main directions of studying and its extent of being observed is still continuously increasing. On one hand, it is universal acknowledge that nuclear energy will increasingly take the place of current acquisition with energy, such as the wind power, the fire power, because of its efficient and almost bottomless provision of energy which can produce millions times energy at the equivalent condition. And on the other, the nuclear energy also has astonishing destructive force. Once a nuclear power plant was established in Chernobyl, an industrial city in the middle west of Russia, to stimulate the local economic development, but with the neglect of management nuclear reactor burnt in it bringing Russian a crop of misfortunes.

In sum, from all the evidence discussed above, it can be concluded that only integrally should government place restrictions on scientific research and development in order to not limit the creativities and imaginations of science.

hfyyelaineUID: 2976419

We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from people whose views contradict our own; disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning.

Assume that there are two people, one shares much similarities in thinking patterns and values with you, another one inclines to think by himself or herself and come up with ideas that not exactly according with yours, which person do you prefer as a partner?

Maybe a lot of people will choose the first one. There is no doubt that this person will make you feel easy and relaxing, hence your acceptance of knowledge is more efficient. Once I have attended a workshop where I met several girls in my group who had almost the same values as me, for we are all majored in social work. Because of this, our co-operation was incredibly smooth and I learnt a lot from them. When we discussed over the reason why our workshop was so pleasant, one of those girl said that it was the similarities we shared that contributed. It turned out that my group was the best one during that workshop and I have gained both skills and friends. From this point of view, people whose views we share satisfy us with a feeling of being understood. Such fulfillment will fuel people with motivation to go on with studying. Besides, we also trim the trouble of wasting time explaining our thoughts to exchange for unification.

However, is the time spending on reasoning and explaining "wasting"? It is not so useless as it might look like. In other words, the second person who against us as I have mentioned before is a treasure, which, if utilized appropriately, could be turned to the one who help us most.

In the first place, disagreements require us to comb our thoughts more carefully and to try to express them in a clearer way. How can you persuade people, if you are confused yourself? For instance, in a debate over the justification for teenagers to use the Internet, both sides have to do a lot of researches and find as much information about this topic as they can to defeat their rivals. In this process, everyone taking part in have become an expert in this field: they can provide statistics to show the harm and the benefit of the Internet, they make wise decisions to judge if a teenager is Internet-addicted, they are able to cite cases of juvenile delinquency based on the Internet. The primary function of learning is not to defeat others, but to enrich yourself in competition. The existence of disagreements is like a good teacher, who are aimed at not just offering praise and make you happy but also at provoking thinking.

Second, sparkles always come from collisions between different opinions. To illustrate this, one need look no further than American campus. Students from all over the world are eager to come to American universities, which are known for their tolerance of cultural diversity and for their open-minded atmosphere. I have to admit that cultural shocks and sensitive issues may be troublesome. Nevertheless, for instance, when dealing with a business case, an India student may oppose strongly with a Frenchman on the attitude to women ornaments. They become angry with each other, quarrel, launch a cold war, then, successively, reach an agreement by communication and appropriate compromises. Their case could be the most brilliant for it has taken regional and habitual factors into account. Corporation is not equal to unification, as many views have insisted, but draws nutrition from positive competitions and settlements of variance. Totally unanimity makes people happy at best, while competition is the stimuli for better achievement.

Without disagreement, human development, which originates from creative learning, would have not been so quick. Contradicting tradition, those unique opinions are cradles for great creation and invention, though they may incur doubt, reproach even ridicule upon their births. Examples are repeating throughout history to shed light upon how important challenge is. Galileo was not inhibited by his seemingly reckless departure from the long holding theory of Aristotle; whelming power of religion had not stopped Copernicus' explore about university; Einstein would never let old belief narrow his mind; these forerunners got great success because of their openness to disagreement. In reverse, being surrounded by same ideas is like being in the backwater--no fresh blood, no excitements, no eager for broader world.

In conclusion, people who manage to use disagreement are those who really master the method of learning. Being able to accept and solve objects should be the first lesson for a student. Similarities bring about progress, but what is more crucial and beneficial is the idea which having been seasoned all kinds of disagreements.

hfyyelaineUID: 2976419

69"Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development"

Is it necessary for a government to exert over（too) many restrictions on scientific research and development?(只是简单重复，貌似改写一下会好点，比如Is scientific progress requires government's restrictions?) Some people assert that science is indubitably a kind of pure subjects and should not be intervene(intervened) by authority. However, from my perspective, scientific research and development are closely interrelated with our current way of life and also accompany a certain amount of danger, which may be out of control and threaten people’s health if without restriction. Therefore, Government should implement an effective management to these researches.

Generally speaking, scientists in the researches are simple and easy to donate(dedicate) themselves into(to) the experiments so that they are possible to be misled and utilized to excogitate some dangerous things by careerists which may bring disasters to our society, such as Human Cloning, biochemistry weapon, the(可删） nuclear bomb, without the controlling（control). In addition, without substantive financial support by the government, scientists would find it difficult to carry out large-scale projects because some scientific researches require a great amount of experimental raw materials and money, especially some rare resources which are entirely grasped by authorities. Thus, governments fund an investment a large number of manpower and financial resources that they must want to gain something in(from) it, so the governments need to ensure that the experiment is on the basis of their estimating(estimate).

However, science plays an indispensable role in any advanced, creative and burgeoning realms. （如果这句话能直接点出段义就好了，比如 However, too many restrictions may encumber the development of science, given the importance it posess in every advanced, creative and burgeoning realms.）Free research plays a positive effectiveness in increasing invention and progress. Too many restrictions may encumber the development of science that we can see in the past decade years(可删）. Official’s restriction of the scientific research not only controls the directions and goals of researches but the outcome and results of the research as well. Some scientists even disappeared later because of their threats to the safety and stability of the nation. As a result, no significant discovery or invention occurred.

Moreover, it is obvious that the indemnification of most people’s benefits relies on the legitimate supervision of authority during the process of scientific research. By this I mean, scientific research and development are a double-edged sword that can be used equally for good or evil. If not properly controlled, it will bring disasters to us(前面有类似说法，可换一下，it will turn out to be harmful.之类的）. Some researches are beneficial for improving the development of society; however, at the same time, they are awfully dangerous which are probable to kill millions of people’s life in a blink of an eye due to an insignificant heedlessness. For instance, the investigation of nuclear energy is now one of main directions of studying and its extent of being observed is still continuously increasing. On one hand, it is universal（universally） acknowledge that nuclear energy will increasingly take the place of current acquisition with energy, such as the wind power, the fire power, because of its efficient(efficiency) and almost bottomless provision of energy which can produce millions times energy at the equivalent condition. And on the other, the nuclear energy also has astonishing destructive force. Once a nuclear power plant was established in Chernobyl, an industrial city in the middle west of Russia, to stimulate the local economic development, but with the neglect of management nuclear reactor burnt in it bringing Russian a crop of misfortunes. （总觉得这段话没有说完，重点应该是“只有政府的控制才能保障科学研究的伤害降到最低”，而不是仅说到科学研究可能的危害）。

In sum, from all the evidence discussed above, it can be concluded that only integrally should government place restrictions on scientific research and development in order to not limit the creativities and imaginations of science.

最近才刚刚开始改作文，改得不好，请见谅！还有，我觉得文章中冠词的用法不太准确，但是这个我自己也不是很明白，正在不断练习中~所以也不太敢改。一起加油吧~

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

12# hfyyelaine
哇~~Thx....改得很好，很多地方都是我当时比较彷徨，不知道如何表达比较妥当的地方，呵呵，最近论文繁重，这篇是在临晨时分找刺激写的，唉...写issue的时候觉得脑子总是空白啊，很多学过的东西都想不起来了，郁闷至今哪~~~~~

关于文章倒数第二段，我的主要目的是想突出科学研究可以造福人类，但是如果不加限制的话，就会成为灾难，收尾确实收的不好，当时实在想不到有什么可以作为一个归纳的......逻辑比较混乱，难为你帮我看这么仔细了

ToT发去给一个大神帮看，打回来全是红叉叉，惨不忍睹啊~~~~~

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

We can usually learn much more from people whose views weshare than from people whose views contradict our own; disagreement can causestress and inhibit learning.
Assume that there are two people, one sharesmuch similarities in thinking patterns and values with you, another oneinclines to think by himself or herself and come up with ideas that not exactlyaccording with yours, which person do you prefer as a partner?（作为全文的段首，最好还是不要给别人提问，毕竟是ETS在问你的观点。直接高度概括的开头，会给人很有条理的感觉。）

Maybe a lot of people will choose the first one(former). There is nodoubt（It is indubitable强调句显得语势更强些） that this person(these persons) will make you feel easy and relaxing, (这应该不是主要的功能吧？confidence may be more significant)hence your acceptance of knowledge is more efficient. Once I have attended a workshop where I met several girls inmy group who had almost the same values as me, for we are all majored in socialwork. Because of this, our co-operation was incredibly smooth and I learnt alot from them. When we discussed over the reason why our workshop was sopleasant, one of those girl said that it was the similarities we shared thatcontributed. It turned out that my group was the best one during that workshopand I have gained both skills and friends.（自己的经历不能成为support，不具代表性。换成we or people让例子具有普遍性） From this point of view, people whose views we sharesatisfy us with a feeling of being understood. Such fulfillment will fuelpeople with motivation to go on with studying. Besides, we also trim thetrouble of wasting time explaining our thoughts to exchange for unification.（1、2可以并未一段，直截了当地交代清楚 your viewpoint，毕竟考试时间有限哪~~~45min， 500字以上，还要说清楚你的观点。）
However, is the time spending on reasoning and explaining"wasting"?（What is the meaning of this sentence?） It is not so useless as it might look like. In other words, the second person who againstus as I have mentioned before is a treasure, which, if utilized appropriately,could be turned to the one who help us most. (没有体会出这段的用意)

In the first place, disagreements require us tocomb our thoughts more carefully and to try to express them in a clearer way.How can you persuade people, if you are confused yourself? For instance, in adebate over the
（an） justification for teenagers to use the Internet,both sides have to do a lot of (频繁且普通，建议换成 amajority of or a great amount of之类的)researches
（印象中好像没有复数形式）and find as much information about this topic as they can todefeat their rivals. In this process, everyone taking part in have
（every member has）become an expert in this field: they (人称太乱了，一下单，一下群体，作者貌似自己都有点混了，看得人估计就更混了)can provide statistics to show the harm and the benefit(advantages anddisadvantages may be better) of theInternet, they make wise (wise一般形容人，这里用Persuasive比较好)decisions to judge if a teenager is Internet-addicted, theyare able to cite cases of juvenile delinquency based on the Internet. （缺个过度）The primary function of learning is not to defeat others,but to enrich yourself in competition. The existence of disagreements is like agood teacher, who are aimed at not just offering praise and make you happy butalso at provoking thinking.

Second, （Secondly）sparkles always come from collisions between differentopinions. To illustrate this, one need look no further than American campus.Students from all over the world are eager to come to American universities,which are known for their tolerance of cultural diversity and for theiropen-minded atmosphere. I have to admit that cultural shocks and sensitiveissues may be troublesome. Nevertheless, for instance, when dealing with abusiness case, an Indiastudent may oppose strongly with a Frenchman on the attitude to womenornaments. They become angry with each other, quarrel, launch a cold war, then,successively, reach an agreement by communication and appropriate compromises.Their case could be the most brilliant for it has taken regional and habitualfactors into account. Corporation is not equal to unification, as many viewshave insisted, but draws nutrition from positive competitions and settlementsof variance. Totally unanimity makes people happy at best, while competition isthe stimuli for better achievement.

Without disagreement, human development whichoriginates from creative learning would have not been so quick.(quickly) Contradicting tradition, thoseunique opinions are cradles for great creation and invention, though they mayincur doubt, reproach even ridicule upon their births. Examples are repeatingthroughout history to shed light upon how important challenge is. Galileo wasnot inhibited by his seemingly reckless departure from the long holding theoryof Aristotle; whelming power of religion had not stopped Copernicus' exploreabout university; Einstein would never let old belief narrow his mind; theseforerunners got great success because of their openness to disagreement. Inreverse, being surrounded by same ideas is like being in the backwater--nofresh blood, no excitements, no eager for broader world.

In conclusion, people who manage to usedisagreement are those who really master the method of learning. Being able toaccept and solve objects should be the first lesson for a student. Similaritiesbring about progress, but what is more crucial and beneficial is the idea whichhaving been seasoned all kinds of disagreements.

呃.....用word转进来的，代码有点乱了，找不到了，将就着看看吧...... 还是传个附件吧，不能对不起自己的汗水

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

Issue:109"The purpose of many advertisements is to make consumers want to buy a product so that they will 'be like' the person in the ad. This practice is effective because it not only sells products but also helps people feel better about themselves."




Advertising, as a common channel for sellers to promote their products, has been increasing popular in currentsociety. However, some people claim that advertisements are certainly effective because they make customers feel better about themselves. From my perspective,although advertising has certain position effects in providing consumers with useful information, its negative impacts appear more prominent in misguidingthem with fake information.

It is undeniable that the main function ofadvertising is to provide information for the consumers to choose what really satiate their demands. By this I mean that advertisements actually supply a majority of effective information about things we want. In a comparison between two similar things, advertisements actually help customers to differentiate them with particulars, and as a result, Just like the Mcdonald's, when its sign comes into our eye sight what we are possible to associate with this? I guesssomething may appear in our mind, such as hamburgers, French fries and manyother fast foods. How does this happen? Incontestably, demonstration effect plays irreplaceable role in it. Eating in it, people may find that they neverneed a menu, they can easily order the exact food they want because advertisinghas put them into our mind.

However, there is much evidence to warrant that advertisements sometimes mislead consumers by offering fake information.Precisely, the most common approach adopt by the advertisers is to exaggerate part of the functions and hide the drawbacks of a product in order to convincethe customers that their commodities are some medicine as an illustration, it is usual that these products are advertised so elegantly that many consumers imagine that only by trying them can their problems be solved. If this is the case ,the customers are possible to be cheated because the majority of these products are actually in poor qualities, wasting a large number of money but receiving no effectiveness. For instance, in selling products for losing weight, advertisers are accustomed to employ some shapely models to be prolocutors which may lure the most primal inner eagerness of consumers to “be like” the models they see on the advertisements, but it is universal acknowledge that we,people, can never make this come true.

In addition, it should be noted that many advertisements are detrimental for people’s physical and even psychological health. To more practice, advertisers claim that their products are effective,for the reason that they can help people who buy their merchandises feel better about themselves. On the contrary, these kinds of advertisements are specious. Manufacturers employed some famous person to portray their products in an attractive way.Through this people are probable to consider that the person who represents forthe merchandises has used them already. As the consequence, people may want toemulate or “be like”. For instance, Michael Jackson, a famous cosmopolitan superstar,was disfigured by his cosmetic surgery for several times. To some extent, thetemptation from advertisements may be one of the pacing factors. Consequently,he had to endured twinge
from his faceor even from his internal spirit. It is an universal phenomena that advertisersnever show the flaw of their products to people; instead, the only things wecan receive from the advertisements are their advantages.

To sum up, from all the evidence discussedabove, it can be concluded that advertising may not be the most  people to accept the brand of a product. In most cases, theproducts will fail to achieve its function of making most consumers look likethe person in the ad to feel better about themselves

hfyyelaineUID: 2976419

谢谢啦~看了你改的时候很有收获啊，总觉得自己写啊写想啊想也不知道到底缺在什么地方，这样就好多了~多多加油！

ISSUE97: It is unfortunate but true that political decisions and activities affect almost every respect of people's lives.

It is possible that the standards of your life, the information you absorb and the way you behave are all colored by a government plan or a political figure's speech. Our lives, ranging from the economic to the cultural realm, have been affected by politics directly or not. As for the case of if this is unfortunate, it depends on how a political decision is.

It is the nature of politics that allows it to have some impression on people's lives: politics is a tool for gaining benefit for a certain group. To achieve this goal, parties or single political practitioners should obtain the power through the legal process--showing voters their plans and a possible brighter future to win their support. The most important thing vast voters care about is their tangible benefit. Therefore, to a certain degree, it is the people's requirements that political actions affect their lives. Tax rates, medicine cares, cultural policies, which cover almost every respect of daily life are closely related to political decisions.

To begin with, political decisions' impression over people's lives is reflected most obviously in the economical field. As a powerful force, it is, and almost only governments have the say over economic issues. What else organization is able to decide the tariff for import goods, or the tax rates? Take the simplest example, a slight decrease of tax rate will help the poor to pay their rents and foods. When it comes to the average families, less income means to change an Australia viewing vacation to a several-day-trip to a neighbor city. Therefore, tiny as a 1 percent change of economic strategy may brought about a huge change to people's lives.

Secondly, when it moves to the cultural realm, it is same the case. The most effective way politics affect people's thoughts and thinking patterns is its impression upon education. Some may insist that education enterprise is neutral and free from any imposing values. I have to admit that education should have its independence for the purity of such a soul cultivating course. This is a goal most experts in education field have been working towards, yet this is not always the case, for reality is hardly so ideal. In 1950s, when Soviet Union launched the first orbiting satellite, American schools and colleges came under intense pressure and offered many incentives to science and mathematic programs so the nation would not fall behind Soviet Union in technological and scientific capabilities. The commonsense has told us that this war is not purely technological, but kind of political. People are motivated by the international political state and autonomously take measures to improve the country. Involved in education and aspiration, this is how politics render people's lives different.

I have noticed an interesting word "unfortunate", which has the connotation that people are not willing to be affected by anything about politics but have no choice. From my point of view, it is too absolute to deny all the political power. Go back to the first definition I offered to politics-- a tool for gaining the benefit for a certain group through legal process. The legal process means democratic systems and proper programs. People have the right to choose what is best for themselves, including the political issues. This can be better understood with the voters who usually advocate the party which offer better social insurance and security. Of course, there are many cases point to the inevitable overwhelming political influence, such as the Nazi, the culture revolution in China, 1960s, but the remorse of Germany post war and the open strategy of China have achieved much as well. The primary function of modern democratic regime is to protective people from the harmful impacts of political activities.

In conclusion, if you find that you cannot escape from the weight of series of political decisions and activities, you do not have to feel worried and miserable. It is not only inevitable but also neutral. Were you found a political prosecution, it would be the time to fight back.

hfyyelaineUID: 2976419

Issue:109"The purpose of many advertisements is to make consumers want to buy a product so that they will 'be like' the person in the ad. This practice is effective because it not only sells products but also helps people feel better about themselves."




Advertising, as a common channel for sellers to promote their products, has been increasing(increasingly) popular in current society. However, some people claim that advertisements are certainly effective because they make customers feel better about themselves. From my perspective, although advertising has certain position effects in providing consumers with useful information, its negative impacts appear more prominent in misguiding them with fake information.

It is undeniable that the main function of advertising is to provide information for the consumers to choose what really satiate their demands. By this I mean that advertisements actually supply a majority of effective information about things we want(略重复，ads do work). In a comparison between two similar things, advertisements actually help customers to differentiate them with particulars, and as a result, Just like the Mcdonald's, when its sign comes into our eye sight, what we are possible to associate with this?(好像有点中式的感觉？ At the sight of Mcdonald’s signs, what do they remind you?) I guess something may appear in our mind, such as hamburgers, French fries and many other fast foods. How does this happen? Incontestably, demonstration effect plays irreplaceable role in it(可删). Eating in it, people may find that they never need a menu, they can easily order the exact food they want because advertising has put them into our mind.

However, there is much evidence to warrant that advertisements sometimes mislead consumers by offering fake information. Precisely, the most common approach adopt by the advertisers is to exaggerate part of the functions and hide the drawbacks of a product in order to convince the customers that their commodities are （句子没有写完么？）Take some medicine as an illustration, it is usual that these products are advertised so elegantly that many consumers imagine that only by trying them can their problems be solved. If this is the case, the customers are possible to be cheated because the majority of these products are actually in poor qualities, wasting a large number of money but receiving no effectiveness. For instance, in selling products for losing weight, advertisers are accustomed to employ some shapely models to be prolocutors which may lure the most primal inner eagerness of consumers to “be like” the models they see on the advertisements, but it is universal acknowledge that we, people, can never make this come true.

In addition, it should be noted that many advertisements are detrimental for(to) people’s physical and even psychological health. To more practice, advertisers claim that their products are effective, for the reason that they can help people who buy their merchandises feel better about themselves. On the contrary, these kinds of advertisements are specious. Manufacturers employed some famous person to portray their products in an attractive way. Through this(these) people are probable to consider that the person who represents for the merchandises has used them already. As the(a) consequence, people may want to emulate or “be like”. （这一句只是在讲名人的夸大效应，而没有提到TS中广告对人们有伤害的部分）For instance, Michael Jackson, a famous cosmopolitan superstar, was disfigured by his cosmetic surgery for(删) several times. To some extent, the temptation from advertisements may be one of the pacing factors. Consequently, he had to endured twinge
from his face or even from his internal spirit. It is a universal phenomena(phenomenon) that advertisers never show the flaw of their products to people; instead, the only things we can receive from the advertisements are their advantages. （这一句最后的总结看起来反而是在讲上一段的内容，可以再具体一点，提到广告对人们有害的方面）总体来说，我觉得这段好像论述得不够有力。。。

To sum up, from all the evidence discussed above, it can be concluded that advertising may not be the most  people to accept the brand of a product. In most cases, the products will fail to achieve its function of making most consumers look like the person in the ad to feel better about themselves

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

啊呃...好速度啊，今天不行了，刚写完6篇提纲，快吐了....缓口气再改

soya521UID: 2904846

新手求拍~！
74 "The most effective way to communicate an idea or value to large groups of people is through the use of images, not language."

The speaker suggests that images are the most effective way to communicate an idea or value to large groups of people, not language. Considering the peculiar characters of both of them, I tend to support the idea that the combination of images and language is the most effective way to communicate.

To begin with, when we try to communicate an idea or something to the mass, it is more vivid, friendly and easy to be understood by using images comparing with abstract language. For example, as a graduate student, I have to do some presentations before the class several times each term, and then I need to prepare my presentations with the aid of PowerPoint. My teachers always tells us that to make an effective communication, you had better use as many images as possible in yours PowerPoint instead of many words, because it is easier for the audiences to understand your ideas. What’s more, in some circumstances, words can’t express our feelings, only images can. The moment the runner across the finishing line in a race, the moment the lovers get married; the moment the students graduate, the language cannot convey how cheerful they are, but images can. Also, for many artists, they often use their art works, such as paintings, sculptures to convey their ideas to the public.

However, sometimes the use of the images may distort the intended meanings and cause ambiguities. Like a word may have two or more different meanings, the same image may also have different meanings. What’s more, like the famous saying “There are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people's eyes”. This saying is used to point out that even when facing the same image, different people may have different thoughts. The famous painting of Mona Lisa Smile can further illustrate this. Until now, people are still arguing about whether she is smiling or not.

According to what I have mentioned above, I think that the most effective way to communicate to large audience is the combination of images and language. Sometimes language can because more forceful and persuasive and provide a simple and accessible way to express ideas and value than the use of images. Like the example I mentioned above, I cannot only show my PowerPoint to the class without saying anything like a silent film. The effective way to make the class understand my ideas is to use images in the PowerPoint with exact words to illustrate them.

In summary, although images provide a vivid and friendly means for large audiences to understand the ideas and value, sometimes they can cause ambiguities. The effective way to communicate an idea and value to large groups of people is the combination of images and words.

yu010UID: 2985160

占19楼

我也是第一次写issue，很多句式和例子都比较生硬，还正处于模仿抄袭阶段- -，请大家拍拍。
3.It is more impertant to allocate money for immediate,existing social problems than to spend it on long-term research that might help future generations.

With the rapidly changing world environment shaped by globalization, both positive and negative effects take place in allocating research funds. Although it is true that the existing social problems are of great importance, we should focus more on spending money for the next generations.

Several immediate, existing social problems should not be neglect. It is obvious that people concern more on their personal felicity and living standard, and can hardly think of the happiness of the others-even if their own offsprings. When a talented person starts to have some success, he may first consider how to improve his livelihood, and the most efficient way is to invent some implements to help people releasing their pressure, making some fun or lightening their work intensity. The inventor get profits from these inventions and at the same time neglect the need of the descendants. Only after having economic foundation may one pursue some theoretical progress. It is believable and convincing. Second, if a country does not pay any attention to the existing problems such as environment problems, racism and housing problems, the general society will be turbulent and chaotic.


Although some research cannot result in immediate profits, it is vital and valuable to the life and health of future generations. "We should so live and labor in our time that what came to us as a seed may go to the next generation as blossom, what came to us as blossom may go to them as fruit. This is what we mean by progress."(H.W.Beecher) The research centers should not only concern about how much money we are making now, but also whether the research is helpful to the further research and advance. It is known to all that mathematics is a pure theoretical subject. One can hardly use concepts and algorithms in matrix and advanced mathematics in his daily life. At first glance it is hard to understand and seemingly useless. But after several decades of evolution, it became more and more popular and is taught in every university in the world. It is now widely used in chemistry, physics, electricity, economy, computer technology and so on. There is always the possibility of unanticipated results arising in unexpected field of research. Consequently ,it is necessary to adopt a long-term perspective, while at the same time continuing to support research which cannot be expected to yield immediate results.

For an excellent scientific researcher, it is important to evaluate the standard of his research. Some theories are not the ultimate conclusion of a big research, but only a intermediate one. It serve for the further research and of a great important. And a great discovery or development may call for several years or even several decades. Thomas.A.Edison operated thousands of experiments and finally come to a real electric lamp. From then on people can study and work at night and largely enhanced the work efficiency. And a philosophy theory may relies on statistics of hundreds of years, and only one kind of theory can hardly help us solve any problem. But after getting to know each kind of philosophy, we ourselves can get a train of thought to solve a existing problem. In some situations they may even survive a family or a even a nation.
These two facets of budgeting and potential are not mutually exclusive. The UK established ACAS(The Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service) to avoid and mediate industry issues, so as to call for a balance between the rights of the workers and the long-term project of the nation. If our government can coordinate these two efforts through cost analysis and induction, future societies may reap the benefits of today's sound investments.

yu010UID: 2985160

19楼的改后作文


74 "The most effective way to communicate an idea or value to large groups of people is through the use of images, not language."

The speaker suggests that images are the most effective way to communicate an idea or value to large groups of people, not language. Considering the peculiar characters of both of them, I tend to support the idea that the combination of images and language is the most effective way to communicate.

To begin with, when we try to communicate an idea or something(something 可以改成 theory 或者point) to the mass, it is more vivid, friendly and easy to be understood by using images comparing with abstract language. For example, as a graduate student, I have to do some presentations before the class several times each term, and then I need to prepare my presentations with the aid of PowerPoint.（本句有些重复，我认为改成一个长句会比较好：I have to prepare some presentations before the class several times each term with the aid of powerpoint.） My teachers always tells(keep telling或者always emphasize that ) us that in order
to make an effective communication, you had better use as many images as possible in your PowerPoint instead of many words, because (用because显得有些生硬，你可以说the reason is simple and convincing:)it is easier for the audiences to understand your ideas( when there is a big and moving picture in front of them, and they may agree with me quickly). What’s more, in some circumstances, words can’t express our feelings, only images can. The moment the runner across the finishing line in a race, the moment the lovers get married; the moment the students graduate, the language cannot convey how cheerful they are, but images can(这句话和上句是重复的，连句式都是一样的。我认为可以改成：unlike simply using tedious language, images can clearly convey how cheerful they are.) Also, for many artists, they often use their art works, such as paintings, sculptures to convey their ideas to the public. (我觉得这个应该是作为第二个分论点：words can’t express our feelings, only images can的论据，如果是的话我认为also这个词会造成误解，个人认为去掉比较好。另外，加一个总结会相对好一些：It is obvious that using images carries advantages in above ways, and thus to make our communication more delighted, interesting and efficient.)

However, sometimes the use of the images may distort the intended meanings and cause ambiguities. Like a word may have two or more different meanings, the same image may also have different meanings. What’s more,( What’s more的出现很奇怪，在我看来这是一个代表递进关系的词，然而作者在这里并没有递进的关系，下文是上面文章的例子而已。去掉会更自然。) like the famous saying “There are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people's eyes”. This saying is used to(可以改成长句读起来比较连贯，用which) point out that even when facing the same image, different people may have different thoughts. The famous painting of Mona Lisa Smile can further illustrate this. Until now, people are (even) still arguing about whether she is smiling or not.

According to what I have mentioned above, I think that the most effective way to communicate to large audience is the combination of images and language. Sometimes language can because（be或者become
-_-） more forceful and persuasive and provide a simple and accessible way to express ideas and value than the use of images. Like the example I mentioned above, I cannot only show my PowerPoint to the class without saying anything like a silent film. The effective way to make the class understand my ideas is to use images in the PowerPoint with exact words to illustrate them. （我突然觉得你要是说从无声电影到有声电影的进步和发展带来的变革就更好了,用自己的例子可能说服力不强）

In summary, although images provide a vivid and friendly means for large audiences to understand the ideas and value, sometimes they can cause ambiguities. （可以再说说语言的好处：Language can precisely deliver what the speaker wants to convey to us without using any extra implements. ）The most effective way to communicate an idea and value to large groups of people is the combination of images and words.