issue94 （revised by gteryy）

caichongbaobaoUID: 136935

94"Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study because acquiring knowledge of various academic disciplines is the best way to become truly educated."
Should universities require all the students to take various courses outside their majors? Is acquiring knowledge of a variety of academic disciplines best way to become truly educated? Negative answers are given, for the real effect of those courses and what is truly educated.(44)
Instead of mastering a large range of knowledge, many of the students find those courses is a waste of both energy and time. First, they show no interest in learning things outside their field of study, and they merely study for passing the exams. The boring things for them to learn are often much harder than those attracting. It is very common that students play truant or being late for the boring classes to them. And it is also plausible that when a examination of a course is over, the memory of that academic discipline disappears. Indeed, students learnt little or none. Moreover, the extra lessons for college students is a burden to their majors, their interest and the field they are expert at, since these disciplines take much time. Avoid failing in the exams, they have to spend time that is originally allocated to their favorite. While getting nothing from those required classes, they do nothing in their majoring field. In addition, not all the disciplines taught are useful to their future. They are useless both for the daily life and work. We will never need again later in our life. When the classes are over, they become futile. Just think the time lost for the useless things, It’s much better to learn something that can broaden your horizon of your favorite and open your mind to new methods.(230)
Even though the students can remember well a variety of academic knowledge, this way is still far from the best method to truly education, comparing to ”teach according to every student’s interest and talent ”. There are many differences existing in every student, and colleges cannot try to educate them the same way , which neglect their own characters. Considering the students’ likes and dislikes, and help them to choose proper lessons is more effective: While the clever long for various academic disciplines , the ordinary may find their majors are hard for them. The same demand is nothing to the former, but really harsh for the latter. Carnegie once said, “And here is the prime condition of success the great secret: concentrate your energy, thought , and capital exclusively upon the business in which you are engaged. Having begun in one line, resolve to fight it out on that line, to lead in it, adopt every improvement,..and know the most of it.” He means if one wants to be a success of education, he/she should spend most of his/her time on their majors and those that benefit their majors. Especially for the ordinary people they have more chance to be well educated when they “put all eggs in one basket and watch it”.(214)
Before I come to the conclusion, I admit that colleges should provide a number of courses for students to choose. These classes can be a complement for the fundamental courses, and can function as stimulation to interest of learning or relaxation from tiring daily work. And they also can keep students informed of other aspects outside the field they are engaged in. However, colleges should not require every students to take them ignoring the ability and interest of each one.(568)

gteryyUID: 114434

94"Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study because acquiring knowledge of various academic disciplines is the best way to become truly educated."

Should universities require all the students to take various courses outside their majors? Is acquiring knowledge of a variety of academic disciplines best way to become truly educated? Negative answers are given, for the real effect of those courses and what is truly educated.(44)
开头不错。

Instead of mastering a large range of knowledge, many of the students many students就可以了，或者most of the studentsfind those courses is a waste of both energy and time. First, they show no interest in learning things outside their field of study, and they merely studymerely放到study后面是不是更能起到强调的作用呢？ for passing the exams. The boring things for them to learn are often much harder than those attractingones. It is very common that students play truant原来我跟老外说逃课时用过这个词，不过她听不懂，她说他们用wagging or being late for the boring classes to them. And it is also plausible这个词你认为是什么意思？ that when a examination of a course is over, the memory of that academic discipline disappears. Indeed, students learnt你表达一重普遍的现象，用have learnt或者learn吧 little or none. Moreover, the extra lessons for college students is a burden to their majors, their interest and the field they are expert at, since these disciplines take much time. Avoid failing in the exams, they have to spend time that is originally allocated to their favorite. While getting nothing from those required classes, they do nothing in their majoring field. In addition, not all the disciplines taught are useful to their future. They are useless both for the daily life and work. We will never need again later in our life. When the classes are over, they become futile. Just think the time lost for the useless things, It’s much better to learn something that can broaden your horizon of your favorite and open your mind to new methods.(230)
这段是说学习太多课外的东西浪费时间、影响本专业学习、没有兴趣学不好。观点是可以的。不过论述的时候把条理更清晰化一些。

Even though the students can remember well a variety of academic knowledge, this way is still far from the best method to truly education, comparing to ”teach according to every student’s interest and talent ”. There are many differences existing这个词多余 in every student, and colleges cannot try to educate them the 加个exactly强调一下，事实上大学里很多人接受的还是相似的教育same way , which neglect their own characters. Considering the students’ likes and dislikes, and help them to choose proper lessons is more effective: While the clever long for various academic disciplines , the ordinary may find their majors areare多余 hard for them. The same demand is nothing to the former, but really harsh for the latter. Carnegie可以大致强调一下引用的人的身份 once said, “And here is the prime condition of success the great secret: concentrate your energy, thought , and capital exclusively upon the business in which you are engaged. Having begun in one line, resolve to fight it out on that line, to lead in it, adopt every improvement,..and know the most of it.” He means if one wants to be a success of education, he/she should spend most of his/her time on their majors and those that benefit their majors. Especially for the ordinary people they have more chance to be well educated when they “put all eggs in one basket and watch it”.(214)
如果这段首句是TS的话，你后面的论述就不太相符了。你后面说的是学生情况不一样，对所学内容的接受能力也不一样，而你第一句是让步，即使他们能记住所有学的内容。。。你应该在你做的让步的前提下说明按学生的特点教育是最好的

Before I come to the conclusion, I admit that colleges should provide a number of courses for students to choose. These classes can be a complement for the fundamental courses, and can function as stimulation to interest of learning or relaxation from tiring daily work. And they also can keep students informed of other aspects outside the field they are engaged in. However, colleges should not require every students to take them ignoring the ability and interest of each one.(568)
结尾以让步为主。强调自己的论点可以再多一点。


整篇文章还是不错的，观点也对，写作能力也很强。不过个人觉得你可以把两段论述的内容重新划分以下，比如说兴趣爱好可以放到第二段论述个人的特点不同等等。当然，按你那样也好的。不错不错，加油。