You are not alone作文小组刘妍 A51作文

dreamerdanceUID: 2759402

The assertion seems to be reasonable at first sight, after all, it is the doctors' goodwill to seek for new ways to reduce the recuperation time so that patients could suffer little should severe muscle strain occur. However, the conclusion that patients with muscle strain should take antibiotics is not well-reasoned since the author fails to consider other situations and moreover, without a sound and sufficient evident, it is arbitrary to draw the conclusion that secondary infections may hinder quicker healing after the injury. Taking all factors into consideration, a further analysis is necessary for fear of over investment financially in such antibiotics and bad influences on patients.

The doctors’ claim that secondary infections may prevent patients from coming through the injury more quickly would be highly questioned since the cited evidence (a study of two groups of patients) is insufficient to prove their assumption. On the contrary, there is also a chance that severe muscle strain cause secondary infections. If that is the case, it would be useless or even detrimental to take antibiotics due to the fact that infection is only the symptom of muscle strain. With excessive attention to antibiotics, the cure of the real root of injury would probably be delayed and doctors could not make sure whether antibiotics may interfere with the effects of other medicines which may be really effective in curing muscle strain.

Even if doctors find out such evidence to justify their claim, they still could not convince me that antibiotics works well in curing secondary infections. Consider the two groups of patients, what seems obvious is that there are no analogies between them since with different kinds of patients (different sex, age and health conditions) and different levels of doctors(one is a specialist in sports medicine, while the other is only a general physician),it is too hasty to draw the conclusion that antibiotics is of great value. Perhaps Dr. Newland adopts some other methods such as requiring appropriate sports, arranging nutritious diets and trying some new medicines for patients. Therefore, a further report about patients' conditions and the rate of muscle-sprained patients with secondary infections is suggested. Besides, it is necessary to undertake a more precise and well-founded scientific analysis that by the same doctors and therapies, patients with same symptoms and conditions could heal more quickly under the help of antibiotics.

However, even with such report and analysis as mentioned above, doctors have neglected the study of the antibiotics itself. Does it have some side effects? Does it could probably cause allergy or pains to patients? Does it would affect other medicines? Without an overall study of these factors, doctors may go astray and patients may suffer other illness in their lifetime after the cure of muscle strains.

While it is doctors' responsibility to care patients and find new ways to alleviate their pains, hasty decision cannot solve the problem and would contrarily cause more troubles. Further analysis and report into the alternatives and other factors could facilitate doctors to make sound judgment.

刘文奇UID: 2850560

The assertion seems to be reasonable at first sight,（此处应用句号或者分号，如果用逗号，应当有连接词） after all, it is the doctors' goodwill to seek for new ways to reduce the recuperation time so that patients could suffer little should severe muscle strain occur. However, the conclusion that patients with muscle strain should take antibiotics is not well-reasoned since the author fails to consider other situations and moreover, without a（去掉a,evidence 为不可数） sound and sufficient evident（改为evidence）, it is arbitrary to draw the conclusion that secondary infections may hinder quicker healing after the injury. Taking all factors into consideration, a further analysis is necessary for fear of over investment financially in such antibiotics and bad influences（去掉s） on patients.(第一句话有点问题，前半句说reasonable，而后半句并没有提供reasonable的原因，而是转向goodwill。goodwill并不能说明reasonable。)

The doctors’ claim that secondary infections may prevent patients from coming through the injury（这个表达有点怪，很少见） more quickly would be highly questioned since the cited evidence (a（改为the） study of two groups of patients) is insufficient to prove their assumption. On the contrary（后面的表达并没有相反之意，所以表达不当。）, there is also a chance that severe muscle strain cause secondary infections. If that is the case, it would be useless or even detrimental to take antibiotics due to the fact that infection is only the symptom of muscle strain. With excessive attention to antibiotics, the cure of the real root（经查阅，该词并没有“原因”的意思。） of injury would probably be delayed and doctors could not make sure whether antibiotics may interfere with the effects of other medicines which may be really effective in curing muscle strain（这个可能性很小，从两组数据可知。）.（我觉得，对于insufficient的论证还不是很充分。）

Even if doctors find out such（改为some比较好） evidence to justify their claim, they still could not convince me that antibiotics works well in curing secondary infections. Consider the two groups of patients, what seems obvious is that there are no analogies between them since （改为if较好，因为不确定。）with different kinds of patients (different sex, age and health conditions) and different levels of doctors(one is a specialist in sports medicine, while the other is only a general physician),it is too hasty to draw the conclusion that antibiotics is of great value. Perhaps Dr. Newland adopts（改为adopted） some other methods such as requiring appropriate sports, arranging nutritious diets and（or） trying some new medicines(貌似不可数) for patients. Therefore, a further report about patients' conditions and the rate of muscle-sprained patients with secondary infections is suggested（这个rate出现太突然，特别是在therefore之后，因为前面无明显迹象）. Besides, it is necessary to undertake a more precise and well-founded scientific analysis that by the same doctors and therapies, patients with same symptoms and conditions could heal more quickly under the help of antibiotics.

However, even with such report and analysis as mentioned above, doctors have neglected the study of the antibiotics itself. Does it have some side effects? Does it could probably cause allergy or pains（单数即可） to patients? Does it would affect other medicines（同上）? Without an overall study of these factors, doctors may go astray and patients may suffer other illness in their lifetime（？？） after the cure of muscle strains.

While it is doctors' responsibility to care patients and find new ways to alleviate their pains, hasty decision cannot solve the problem and would contrarily cause more troubles. Further analysis and report into the alternatives and other factors could facilitate doctors to make sound judgment.
（本文总体思路很好，采用的是递进式论证，但是我觉得每个论点的论据还稍显不足，语言总体来讲还好（至少比我好），没有很强的中式英语的调调，但是还有提高的空间。）
我是刘文奇，如果有什么问题，可以及时和我联系。大家一起共同成长！

dreamerdanceUID: 2759402

The original intention of the argument is innocent; after all, it is the doctors' goodwill to seek for new ways to reduce the recuperation time so that patients could suffer little should severe muscle strain occur. However, the conclusion that patients with muscle strain should take antibiotics is not well-reasoned since the author fails to consider other situations. Moreover, without sound and sufficient evidence, it is arbitrary to draw the conclusion that secondary infections may hinder quicker healing after the injury. Taking all factors into consideration, a further analysis is necessary for fear of over investment financially in such antibiotics and bad influence on patients.

First of all, the doctors’ assertion is based on the premise that secondary infections would definitely happen to patients with severe muscle strain. However, the author fails to provide convincing evidence or information to support his statement. The argument would be more cogent if the rate of muscle-sprained patients with secondary infections and the relationship between secondary infections and muscle strain is provided, and whether the former is the symptom of the latter or patients with severe muscle strain are apt to suffer from secondary infections.

Even if doctors find out some evidence to justify their claim, they still could not convince me that antibiotics works well in curing secondary infections. Consider the two groups of patients, what seems obvious is that there are no analogies between them since with different kinds of patients (different sex, age and health conditions) and different levels of doctors(one is a specialist in sports medicine, while the other is only a general physician),it is too hasty to draw the conclusion that antibiotics is of great value. There is a chance that the patients who take antibiotics are much younger than the other, or have better physiological function to recover. Also, perhaps Dr. Newland adopted some other methods such as requiring appropriate sports, arranging nutritious diets or trying some new medicine for patients. Therefore, it is necessary to undertake a more precise and well-founded scientific report that with the same doctors and therapies, patients with same symptoms and conditions could heal more quickly under the help of antibiotics.

However, even with such report and analysis as mentioned above, doctors have neglected the study of the antibiotics itself. Does it have some side effects? Does it could probably cause allergy or pain to patients? Does it would affect other medicine? Without an overall study of these factors, doctors may go astray and patients may suffer other illness in the future after the cure of muscle strains.

Although it is doctors' responsibility to care for patients and find new ways to alleviate their pains, hasty decision cannot solve the problem and would contrarily cause more troubles. Further analysis and reports into the alternatives and other factors could facilitate doctors to make sound judgment.

Luise8891UID: 2906459

The original intention of the argument is innocent; after all, it is the doctors' goodwill to seek for new ways to reduce the recuperation time （这里应该讲清楚什么愈合时间）so that patients could suffer little should（？） severe muscle strain occur. （这句话没必要,与后面也联系不紧）However, the conclusion that patients with muscle strain should take antibiotics is not well-reasoned since the author fails to consider other situations. Moreover, without sound and sufficient evidence, it is arbitrary to draw the conclusion that secondary infections may hinder quicker healing after the injury. Taking all factors into consideration, a further analysis is necessary for fear of over investment financially in such antibiotics and bad influence on patients.
（个人觉得模板化太严重，真正有用的信息就是红字部分，自己可以用模板，但前提是模板成份只起穿针引线的作用而不是将有用的信息点淹没在模板的大海里。应该是信息点应该更丰满一些，画线的两句又有重复，就是把结论变形的说了两次，作者的论证思路一句没提。）

First of all, the doctors’ assertion is based on the premise that secondary infections would definitely happen to patients with severe muscle strain. However, the author fails to provide convincing evidence or information to support his statement. The argument would be more cogent if the rate of muscle-sprained patients with secondary infections and the relationship between secondary infections and muscle strain is provided, and whether the former is the symptom of the latter or patients with severe muscle strain are apt to suffer from secondary infections.

Even if doctors find out some evidence to justify their claim, they still could not convince me that antibiotics works well in curing secondary infections.（抗生素肯定是可以治疗二次感染，这是抗生素公认的作用—抗感染，你这里应该说没有说服我抗生素可以减少肌肉损伤恢复的时间） Consider the two groups of patients, what seems obvious is that there are no analogies between them since with different kinds of patients (different sex, age and health conditions) and different levels of doctors(one is a specialist in sports medicine, while the other is only a general physician),it is too hasty to draw the conclusion that antibiotics is of great value.（句子过于冗长累赘，语法好几处错误，首先以祁使句，然后接一个句子，然后再接一个句子，句子之间的逻辑也不很清晰。） There is a chance that the patients who take antibiotics are much younger than the other, or have better physiological function to recover. Also, perhaps Dr. Newland adopted some other methods such as requiring appropriate sports, arranging nutritious diets or trying some new medicine for patients. Therefore, it is necessary to undertake a more precise and well-founded scientific report that with the same doctors and therapies, patients with same symptoms and conditions could heal more quickly under（with） the help of antibiotics.

However, even with such report and analysis as mentioned above, doctors have neglected the study of the antibiotics itself. Does it have some side effects? Does it could probably cause allergy or pain to patients? Does it would affect other medicine? Without an overall study of these factors, doctors may go astray and patients may suffer other illness in the future after the cure of muscle strains.

Although it is doctors' responsibility to care for patients and find new ways to alleviate their pains, hasty decision cannot solve the problem and would contrarily cause more troubles. Further analysis and reports into the alternatives and other factors could facilitate doctors to make sound judgment.（应该在文中论证需要加强的情况下概括地提出更建设性的意见，而不是笼统的一句话带过）
逻辑清晰，语法错误少，论证充分，不过有些句子不自然。请斟酌开头和结尾的写法，写出属于自己最好的模板。欢迎与我交流。