Issue 11

Luise8891UID: 2906459

The highly efficient transportation and available media make it happen that people in different places can go to any places more easily and have easy access to what is happening almost in every corner of the earth. But it follows that more and more social worldwide problems occur and start to affect the overall peace and relationships between different countries. Since they are becoming urgent , but how to handle them before they can lead to more serious problems?A global university might work. Therefore, I fundamentally agree with the propotion that all nations should unite their supports to develop a global university to enroll and train students to solve the currently most persistent social problems .
First of all, nowadays, the social problems worldwide are becoming more serious than ever
and can threaten our global peace and harmony.With the more frequent contact between people from different cuntries,the social issues arised. In politics,different countries are seeking for more benefits for their own countries, and inevitably, when it comes to some benefits,none of them would compromise. For example,these days,the anti-Japanese sentimet has been stoked by Japan's arrest of a chinese fidhing boat captain near disputed islands. The basic cause for this is that both Japan and China want to take possession of the island for mor territory. Without a doubt, this will last for a long time,because there is no way that each of them could compromise and give up easily. In ecomomy, some giant multi-national corporations attempt to exploit more labor resources from the
developing countries, which can arouse serious animus from the developing countries. In cultrue, some peoples tend to discriminate other peoles,which would definitely be detrimental to the relationships between them. Therefore, since the social problems worldwide are more and more serious, they need to be solved immediately before they could be turned to some irreversible devastating consequence.
Secondly, the global social problems can not be solved untill all nations are working together to find solutions . First, every problem has an original cause. For example, the anti-Japanese sentiment from chinese dates back to World War two when Japan commited a slaughter in China and tried to deny it. Then, to solve every problem we need to find out the original cause and then
find the right solution to annihilate the cause. Finally, mutual or even multilateral efforts should be made by all the countries. In this case, Japan need to admit the huge outrage they had done and, make a sincere apology and some expiation. At the same time, China should try to find a way to forgive those sincere descendants of war convicts, while other countries need to back up the just side and prevent chinese to overact in some issues.
Thirdly, the best way to unite the different countries’ supports to tackle the global social problems is to build a global unniversity where social scholars from all over the world can sit together to discuss the serious issues happened recently and students can be enrolled to study together to adress the nowaday's and future cosmopolitan social problems. Back to the example mentioned above, if the chinese scholars and students can deliver the wish uttered from the deep heart of common chinese compatriots, and if the Japanese scholars as well as students can take the wish back to their countrymen, the problems probably would not last for almost a centuary. The recuperated relationship between german and polish sets a perfect example that mutual understanding and reciprocal effort can precipitate the friendly amity. Certainly, other scholars and students from other countries can act as buffer and simultaneously exert pressure of public opinions to prevent possible overacting conflicts between the two countries.
In conclusion,it's urgent and also feasible to establish a global university to deal with the world's most persistent social problems. Therefore, all nations should contribute their supports to the developemt of this global university.
Time:150 minutes Words:647

ydycgwllUID: 2894737

Rad-语法词法问题
Blue-好词好句
Pink-不理解的地方
Green-小结
Orange-建议
The highly efficient transportation and available media make it happen(possible) that people in different places can go to any places more easily(conveniently) and have easy(more optional) access to (the place where something special) is happening almost in every corner of the earth. But it follows that more and more social worldwide problems occur and start to affect the overall peace and relationships（peace是不是放在此累赘） between(用于两者之间，大于2者间用among) different countries. Since they are becoming urgent, but how to handle them before they can lead to more serious problems? （从个人语感上判断此句连接词前后有些不符合英语习惯；it is very urgent to deal with them for their increasingly severe situation.）A global university might work. Therefore, I fundamentally agree with the propotion（proposal） that all nations should unite （their supports可去） to develop a global university to enroll and train students to solve the currently（位置不对） most persistent social problems （或at the present time）.
小结：引出问题，并提出可能的解决办法——如题
建议：开头引出问题部分与整个文章中心思想没有关联，这种情况下不宜占太大篇幅
First of all, nowadays, the social problems worldwide are becoming more serious than ever
and can threaten our global peace and harmony. With the more frequent contact between people from different countries, the social issues arised（过去式是arose or appeared/emerged）. In politics, different countries are seeking for more benefits for their own countries, and inevitably, when it comes to some benefits, none of them would compromise. For example, these days, the anti-Japanese sentiment has been stoked by Japan's arrest of a Chinese fishing boat captain near disputed islands. The basic cause for this is that both Japan and China want to take possession of the island for mor territory. Without a doubt, this will last for a long time because there is no way that each of them compromise and give up easily. In economy, some giant multi-national corporations attempt to exploit more labor resources from the developing countries, which can arouse a serious animus（可数） from the developing countries. In culture, some peoples tend to discriminate other peoples, which would definitely be detrimental to the relationships between them. Therefore, since the social problems worldwide are more and more serious, they need to be solved immediately before they could turn into（主动语态） some irreversible devastating （两个词取一个）consequence.
小结：段首段尾均强调在问题严重化之前解决的必要性，但中间论证只是从政治经济文化三个方面列举了存在矛盾的例子，没有很好论证该段中心，最好是反例即问题严重了才去解决导致代价更严重，例如美国内战，就是因为种族歧视问题引发的战争；经济上，任由虚拟经济发展导致金融危机==
Secondly, the global social problems can not be solved until all nations are working together to find solutions. First, every problem has an original cause. For example, the anti-Japanese sentiment from Chinese dates back to World War Two when Japan committed a slaughter in China and tried to deny it（the truth）. Then, to solve every problem we need to find out the original cause and then find the right solution to annihilate
the cause（原因是客观存在的，是不可annihilate的）. Finally, mutual or even multilateral efforts should be made by all the countries. In this case, Japan need to admit the huge outrage they had done and, make a sincere apology and some expiation. At the same time, China should try to find a way to forgive those sincere descendants of war convicts, while other countries need to back up the just side and prevent chinese to overact in some issues.
小结：只有全世界联合起来才解决了问题；但论据（First）没有说服力，应该举一个单个不能解决，最后在国际合作下才解决的事例，如美国经济危机，最后在中国、日本等的帮组下得以缓解
Thirdly, the best（下文并没有对此进行论证，最好不要给别人有空可钻） way to unite the different countries’ supports to tackle the global social problems is to build a global university where social scholars from all over the world can sit together to discuss the serious issues happened recently and students can be enrolled to study together to address the nowadays’ and future cosmopolitan social problems. Back to the example mentioned above, if the Chinese scholars and students can deliver the wish uttered from the deep heart of common Chinese compatriots, and if the Japanese scholars as well as students can take the wish back to their countrymen, the problems probably would not last for almost a centuary(century). The recuperated relationship between German and Polish sets a perfect example that mutual understanding and reciprocal effort can precipitate(这个词用于贬义，一般指促成、使陷入不好的境地) the friendly amity（此处正面例子很好，但最好是再说几句它是在大家的合作帮组下恢复的关系，因为读者也许不清楚他们的和好是否是只有两个的协商就完成了还是…）. Certainly, other scholars and students from other countries can act as buffer and simultaneously exert pressure of public opinions to prevent possible overacting conflicts between the two countries.
小结：论证the speaker的措施可行，通过这个可以给予舆论压力==
In conclusion, it's urgent（文中First中打算了充分的的论证） and also feasible（没论证建校的可行性比如是否各国愿意、语言沟通…，只说明了useful，所以应该改掉，因为这是你的末尾总结句，是对全文论点的总结，所以用词最好准确；并且仅仅说“问题紧急”&“建校可行”是推不出后面的therefore，只有问题紧急，建校又有用才能therefore） to establish a global university to deal with the world's most persistent social problems. Therefore, all nations should contribute their supports to the developemt of this global university.

建议：文章立意是否可以从另外角度：
关键的问题是要增进各国之间的沟通交流、相互理解等，国家之间的合作应该本着互赢的理念，收敛一些贪婪与自私；建不建这样一个学校并不是关键，再说真正要交流靠这个学校的这几个学者是远远不够的，国际上已经存在的组织如联合国完全有能力号召学者组织这样的讨论交流等；再提一些其他措施…

Luise8891UID: 2906459

The high efficient transportation and available media make it possible that people in different places can go to any places more easily and have access to the latest news happened in every corner of the earth. But it follows that more and more nationwide social problems occur and start to affect the overall peace among different counties. To handle these sticky issues, old forms of cooperation among different countries, such as United Nation, or global summit,
are obviously not enough, and it calls for a brand new way—building a global university. First, it’s feasible and then it is useful; moreover, it can bring about some exclusive benefits. Therefore I fundermentally agree with the proposition that all nations should unite their supports to develop a global university to enroll and train students to solve the currently and future most persistentl social problems.

On the one hand, the high efficient transportation and available media tie our fates together. For instance, if one country is against the law of protecting the environment, which is exposed by the world media, then other countries would show their protest, give public opinion pressure or even conduct some mandatory policy. On the other hand, it brings us together and promote more communication between peoples with different nationality, which results in more frequent conflict among different peoples, such as the conflict between the Muslim and Americans. These rising social problems are not fresh any more and lasting for a long time, thus, it calls for a new way ,that is to develop a global university where all kinds of experts from different counties can have more chance to talk each other, and students from different countries can learn from each other and understand each other.

First of all, to build a global university is totally feasible. To begin with, with the prevalence of English, the language students communicate and teachers teach would not be a problem. And also, the hurdle of time and space would not be a problem either, since the transportation is so efficient and media can be available throught out the Internet in the world. Besides, with the financial supports from all governments in the world, to run a university would not be a problem. Moreover, there has never been a shortage of experts who are enthusiastic about solving the worldwide social problems. Last and most importantly, some of the successful American universities which enroll international students are the perfect examples and can lend some experience to the builder of a global university. Therefore, in terms of universal language, hurdle of time and space, the financial supports, or precedent and experience, it is absolutely possible to build a global university.

Besides, in some respect, compared with other forms of cooperation, a global university has its irreplaceable advantage in solving some problems. Take environment problems as an example. In some developing countries, the governors usually would pay too much attention to the development of economy at the cost of sacrifice of
environment, which might threaten the worldwide environment. Some people might claim that we can just leave it to the United Nation. If the UN want to play hard, it would probably threaten to
inflict punishment upon these countries. If the UN want to play soft, it would condemn the conducts of these countries, or more softly, even strive to make an agreement with these countries. None of these have been proven to be effective. Then, some people might argues that we have so many international summits in which we can come up with a solution to absolve the worldwide environment problems. In such a short time, those participates negotiate with each other and establish some encouraging pact. After the summit, the governors would still tread on the agreed pact and still continue its policy. These two forms of cooperation both aim at addressing the short term problems. Actually, the environment problems can not be easily solved in a short time, instead, a global university aims at solving long term problems are the best choice. The global university is to bring yongsters in the world together, and then influence them unconsciously to a strong sense of protecting the environment. When those students come back to their homeland and become the prop of the countries, they would make some revisions about their policy. This assumption is especially true in those countries with low density of population, uneducated people and severely polluted environment.

In sum, since social problems are urgent and a global university is feasible, and useful to solve them, I see no reason that the governments in the world would not prop up the development of a global university.