issue7

caichongbaobaoUID: 136935

The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."

With the development of technology, the video camera plays a more and more important role in recording the contemporary life. It becomes or will become a more important form of documentation than written records, not only for the accuracy and convincement it provides but also for its products’ livingness and access to more people. (54)

  The stories or pictures which the cameras record are always accurate, while written ones sometimes have differences from what really happens. The processes of recording, displaying products before inspectors, and dissemination assure the accuracy, since the media between facts and inspectors are the reality the cameras “remember”. Unfortunately, inaccuracy in written documents is caused during the processes is hardly avoided. When putting down the facts, the writers have 3 weak points that cause improper description. First, not all things in the world have a word to express exactly in the language. Take the color for example, there are millions of color we can see, a little difference in brightness means another color. Although the writer knows perfectly what color he /she saw, he cannot give an accurate account due to lack of words. Second, a writer cannot use all words properly to picture a scene or describe a story. What he writes is probably different from what he sees. Last but not least, the documents may include the personal feelings and views which harm the objectivity of the records. Maybe the hero in a record is kind, but one argument with the author may make him a greedy and mean one under the author’ pen. Because he really acts that way in the author’s eyes. When exhibited before the readers, it demands the imagination of them. This is another point that inaccuracy comes from. Even the proper words cannot necessarily guide people the right way. On the contrary, the video only acquire your eyes to work, what you see is exactly what happened before. And when readers spread what they read and understand the extra mistakes by mistyping and misunderstanding are brought up, comparing exact copies of video by computers. (290)

  Another advantage the cameras have is livingness. Finding the written records of history or politics really boring, you may find the video more vivid. Instead of forcing you to read difficult ancient words and accept what you are not interested in. The videos provide you only facts. Instead of troubling your brain to imagine, the videos provide you pictures of the past.(62)

  Access to more people also counts for cameras’ good point. Unlike written document, which is only available to those who can read, the videos are also kind to the illiterate. Although governments spare no effort to decrease the number of the illiterate, there are still a large number of people that cannot read documents on history or from the government.(60)

  Admittedly, camera videos also have disadvantages. Some people find it difficult to distinguish the important plots from the minor ones; and it is also blamed for one cause of losing imagination and literary. However, these can be compensated by other means: narrators sometimes appear in the videos, you can listen to them if you have difficulty to go through yourself, at the same time you also can open your eyes while closing your ears; creation of art and literary works can stimulate human’s imagination, if one likes to try. In general, we can not deny camera videos by the minor weak points. Actually, it has uncomparable advantages that determine their importance. And maybe in future, it will substitute for the written form.(590)

happyman2000UID: 136936

With the development of technology, the video camera plays a more and more important role in recording the contemporary life. It becomes or will become a more important（这里和前面有重复之嫌） form of documentation than written records, not only for the accuracy and convincement it provides but also for its products’ livingness and access to more people. (54)

The stories or pictures which the cameras record are always accurate, while written ones sometimes have differences from what really happens. The processes of recording, displaying products before inspectors, and dissemination assure the accuracy, since the media between facts and inspectors are the reality the cameras “remember”. （没看明白）Unfortunately, inaccuracy in written documents is caused（什么cause 它?） during the processes is hardly avoided. When putting down the facts, the writers have 3 weak points that cause improper description. First, not all things in the world have a word to express exactly in the language. Take the color for example, there are millions of color we can see, a little difference in brightness means another color. Although the writer knows perfectly what color he /she saw, he cannot give an accurate account due to lack of words. （有些东西无法用文字表达）Second, a writer cannot use all words properly to picture a scene or describe a story. What he writes is probably different from what he sees. （文字表达的不完整性）Last but not least, the documents may include the personal feelings and views which harm the objectivity of the records.（文字表达的主观性） Maybe the hero in a record is kind, but one argument with the author may make him a greedy and mean one under the author’ pen. Because he really acts that way in the author’s eyes. When exhibited before the readers, it demands the imagination of them. This is another point that inaccuracy comes from. Even the proper words cannot necessarily guide people the right way. On the contrary, the video only acquire(s)  your eyes to work, what you see is exactly what happened before. And when readers spread what they read and understand the extra mistakes by mistyping and misunderstanding are brought up, comparing exact copies of video by computers. (290) 这一段基本可以，不过感觉还是无法说服人，你的目的是要让别人相信录像机比文字更重要，而不是仅仅把某一方的弱点或优点列出来，要比较，要得出其优点远大于弱点的结论。

Another advantage the cameras have is livingness. Finding(好像可以用更好的词代替) the written records of history or politics really boring, you may find the video more vivid. Instead of forcing you to read difficult ancient words and accept what you are not interested in. The videos provide you only facts. Instead of troubling your brain to imagine, the videos provide you pictures of the past.(62)  你如果把历史、政治扯进来谈录像机的好处，可能有些误入歧途。历史、政治中的主要内容由于其抽象性、复杂性，恰恰适合用文字表达。你可以谈体育转播，新闻报道嘛！

Access（ its accessibility） to more people also counts for cameras’ good point(more importance) . Unlike written document, which is only available to those who can read, the videos are also kind to the illiterate.(不解！)  Although governments spare no effort to decrease the number of the illiterate, there are still a large number of people that cannot read documents on history or from the government.(60) 论证牵强，可有可无！

Admittedly, camera videos also have disadvantages. Some people find it difficult to distinguish the important plots from the minor ones; and it is also blamed for one cause of losing imagination and literary.（立场不要轻易动摇哟！） However, these can be compensated by other means: narrators sometimes appear in the videos, you can listen to them if you have difficulty to go through yourself, at the same time you also can open your eyes while closing your ears; creation of art and literary works can stimulate human’s imagination, if one likes to try. In general, we can not deny camera videos by the minor weak points. Actually, it has uncomparable（这是你造的词吗？） advantages that determine their importance. And maybe in future, it will substitute for the written form.(590)

坦率地讲，我觉得不如我上次看到的你那篇关于文学评论标准的作文。你只是列举了录像机和文字双方的优缺点，没有进行有效的比较，无法从你的文中看出录像机比文字更重要。另外，有些优缺点说得也有些牵强。还有就是语言上的问题，有些词可能用得不大准确，使人不明白你的意思。你可以查查字典嘛！又不是考试！

caichongbaobaoUID: 136935

The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."

With the development of technology, the video camera plays a more and more important role (改为turns to a common tool)[COLOR]in recording the contemporary life. It becomes or will become a more important form of documentation than written records, not only for the accuracy and convincement it provides but also for its products’ livingness and access to more people. (54)

  The stories or pictures which the cameras record are always accurate, while written ones sometimes have differences from what really happens. The processes of recording, displaying products before inspectors, and dissemination assure the accuracy, since the media between facts and inspectors are the reality the cameras “remember”. (摄影机记录的再现的事实是人们与“历史”之间的媒介，怎么说)[/COLOR]Unfortunately, inaccuracy in written documents is caused during the processes is hardly avoided. When putting down the facts, the writers have 3 weak points that cause improper description. First, not all things in the world have a word to express exactly in the language，but cameras never face that problem. [/COLOR]Take the color for example, there are millions of color we can see, a little difference in brightness means another color. Although the writer knows perfectly what color he /she saw, he cannot give an accurate account due to lack of words. But cameras can record what things really are, since it takes the color down by pictures not by words.[/COLOR] Second, a writer cannot use all words properly to picture a scene or describe a story. What he writes is probably different from what he sees.On the contrary, this is impossible for cameras, for they operates on the basis of scientific mechanism of taking down pictures.[/COLOR] Last but not least, the documents may include the personal feelings and views which harm the objectivity of the records. Maybe the hero in a record is kind, but one argument with the author may make him a greedy and mean one under the author’ pen. Because he really acts that way in the author’s eyes. When exhibited before the readers, it demands the imagination of them. This is another point that inaccuracy comes from. Even the proper words cannot necessarily guide people the right way. On the contrary, the video only acquire your eyes to work, what you see is exactly what happened before. And when readers spread what they read and understand the extra mistakes by mistyping and misunderstanding are brought up, comparing exact copies of video by computers.[/COLOR]（去掉，改为 However, this will never happen to cameras. No matter what the user of a camera think of others, he can only record what fact is objectively.） [/COLOR](290)

  Another advantage the cameras have is livingness. Pictures are often more attractive than words to common people. [/COLOR]Finding the written records of history or politics really boring, you may find the video more vivid. Instead of forcing you to read difficult ancient words and accept what you are not interested in. The videos provide you only facts. Instead of troubling your brain to imagine, the videos provide you pictures of the past.(62) You need not translate the words into pictures, which you may see from videos, and you do not have to trouble your brain to imagine what the atmosphere of negotiation is, you can feel that after watching the records.[/COLOR]

  Access (its accessity)[/COLOR]to more people also counts for cameras’ good point. Unlike written document, which is only available to those who can read, the videos are also kind(understandabe) to the illiterate. Although governments spare no effort to decrease the number of the illiterate, there are still a large number of people that cannot read documents on history or from the government. Videos can keep them informed while written documents cannot.[/COLOR](60)

  Admittedly, camera videos also have disadvantages. Some people find it difficult to distinguish the important plots from the minor ones[/COLOR](去掉这句和后面的and，also，加上for example); and it is also blamed for one cause of losing imagination and literary. However, these （改为it）can be compensated by other means such as creation and appreciation of art and literary works, if one likes to try. In general, we can not deny camera videos by the minor weak points. Actually, it has uncomparable (incomparable) advantages that determine their importance. And maybe in future, it will substitute for the written form.(590)
自己又改了一篇
有没有长进啊