亦可的作文楼，请大家多多指教

zjing928UID: 2928767

I admit that reading newspapers and magazines are beneficial ways of learning a foreign country, but this way(these two ways are) is not the best ones. Because there is no doubt that this has its own limitation of media(as a mean of media). In addition, to some extent, the newspapers and magazines are challenged by the new means of  media. Namely, they are between a dilemma. 2 O0 d# {5 g- a3 Q/ ]3 m

2 v' S4 R; `8 j4 o" q
First of all, reading newspaper and magazines has the disadvantage which all media have. It is difficult for people through printed media to have a whole map of a foreign country by heart（with incisive impression）. It lacks in(个人感觉in 应该去掉) the reality, while traveling in a foreign country can give someone a deep impression(personal experience). Take me for example, I once knew(应用过去完成时had known about) something special of China by reading newspapers and magazines, but this year I visited it and I felt so excited for I saw（I saw 应该改成having seen,for后跟ing形式的短语,为介词短语） the Great Wall and Forbidden City. Nothing can be so unique to feel(enjoy) the ancient culture atmosphere there. In some sense, all media have this limitation, but the newspapers and magazines are more likely to give only an outline of a foreign country. So I cannot imagine how those who read printed media to(to是不是应该去掉？) have a well-round perspective into a foreign country. 7 j0 Y6 N& B0 e# o
* E, _) a$ f: n
Another point I cast doubt on is the timeliness of the newspapers and magazines. The new media such as TV or Internet provides people with active and up-dated information about a foreign country. In contrast, the printed media needs more time to edit their contents so that they cannot catch up with the time. I once skimmed a photo of Germany in a magazine, and its background should be during the War World Two, which surprised me a lot.(例子貌似不太恰当，如果是讲述历史专题的杂志的话) Although this example is a little bit extreme, there is no doubt that the printed media always stays behind the Time. Someone requires news in the paper should be the latest, and I think not only news, but also the information should, which only can be done by the latest media such as Twitter.
7 t. L; t' S* o, B9 j! t' n
In conclusion, with the development of the modern media, more and more people are accustomed to getting information about the outside world by new media.* U+ {; l. [) f+ I+ p4 r# Q! t
Newspapers and magazines don’t follow the current of the society, thus they cannot be the best way for people to learning about a foreign county.
感觉the printed media 表达有点奇怪，我觉得应该用 the printed channel of mass media.

norraUID: 2782571

11月11日交

    Newspapers and magazines are the best way of learning about a foreign country？7 g0 m0 P) p9 n6 a* L
7 [# z6 M, d0 `- `% b) f
   
    I admit that reading newspapers and magazines are beneficial ways 单复数 of learning a foreign country, but this way is not the best. Because there is no doubt that this has it own limitation of media. In addition, to some extent, the newspapers and magazines are challenged by the new media. Namely, they are between a dilemma. 2 T4 O1 N. ^9 Z' |: A/ K. T2 A, ^0 [

   First of all, reading newspaper and magazines has the disadvantages which all media have. It is difficult It is not going smoothly for people through printed media to have a whole map of a foreign country by heart. It lacks in the reality, while traveling a foreign country can give someone a deep impression. Take me for example, I once knew something special of China by reading newspapers and magazines, but this year I visited it and I felt so excited for I saw the Great Wall and Forbidden City. Nothing can be so unique to feel the ancient culture atmosphere there. In some sense, all media have this limitation, but the newspapers and magazines are more likely to give only an outline of a foreign country. 语言还太过于中文化。 So I cannot imagine how those who read printed media to have a well-round perspective into a foreign country. 3 S" p& y7 z1 _$yuyan W: T

     Another point I cast doubt on is the timeliness of the newspapers and magazines. The new media such as TV or Internet provide people with active and up-dated information about a foreign country. In contrast, the printed media need more time to edit their contents so that they cannot catch up with the time. I once skimmed a photo of Germany in a magazine, and its background should be during the War World two, which surprised me a lot. Although this example is a little bit extreme太中文了, there is no doubt that the printed media always stay behind the Time. Someone requires news in the paper should be the latest, and I think not only news, but also the information should, which only can be done by the latest media such as Twitter. 这叫做social media ,是new media 的发展趋势之一

W# C) y) E: R
      In conclusion, with the development of the modern media, more and more people are accustomed to getting information about outside world by new media.- j& n. |  {$ y9 i
Newspapers and magazines don’t follow the current of the society, thus they cannot be the best way for people to learning about a foreign
  整体结构完整，语言还需要多练习吧，已经很好了，一起加油吧。

ilovevickyUID: 2937658

4# norra

11月13日交
A lower-paying job with shorter hours that would give you more vacation time is better than a high-paying
job that would give you less vacation time?

Every one has his or her own dream during lifetime. So a lower-paying job with shorter hours that would give you more vacation time is not necessarily better than a high-paying job that would give you less vacation time. It depends on the value which is various from different people. Being “better” is just an abstract feeling.


First of all, those who aim at making much money before their retirement dislike the lower-paying job, even if the employer gives more time for them to relax themselves. On one hand, some people are keen on working which gives them a sense of achievements, and they don’t care about how long the vacation is. Take One of my teachers for instance, he often say he prefer standing in front of the classroom to staying at home. On the other hand, people who value the money as the source of treasure not only love the higher- paying jobs but also save up the money as the investment funds. So if one has a long-time vacation, he or she will not resist the temptation to spend money such as shopping, travelling or some other entertainment activities. In brief, the better job somebody prefers isn’t suitable for another person.

What’s more, there is no doubt that some people would like the job with plentiful vacations for they pursue the freedom of life. Nevertheless, life burdens will change their mind. After the excitement of not working for long hours per week, they realize the boredom of the life staying at home, because they cannot go outside to spend much money on entertainment. They have a hard living and they even cannot support their families. With a period time passing, they will be aware of the importance of money. Therefore, one with a long-time vacation and a lower-paying job cannot enjoy the holidays at ease.

In conclusion, a better job only exists in your heart.
Whether a lower-paying job with shorter hours that would give you more vacation time is a better choice, it is up to one’s insight into the world.

bsb521UID: 2325840

11月13日作业
revised by bsb521
互相学习，加油加油！

ilovevickyUID: 2937658

6# bsb521

11月16日交
Visiting museums is the best way to learn about a country.0 })

There is no doubt that people learn about a country through museums, but it is not the excellent way. It is too traditional to have a well-rounded perspective on a country especially the foreign country. Nowadays, people take insight into a country by many different routes, which give them a new experience to know something about a country.

First and foremost, visiting the museums only make people learn the history and culture about a country, however, they cannot know the modern aspects such as the fashion trend or the modern technology. I once visited the museums in China, which contains lots of antiques such as the bronze vessels, oracle bone and so on. People have some knowledge of the past China, while what is this country like today? Nothing can tell them by visiting the museum. On the contrary, if people live in China for a period of time, they will experience the lives that Chinese make. Of course, the most important thing is to talk with Chinese people. From their mouths, people can learn something relevant to the reality of China. Chinese will talk about their families, work and something like that, even complaint about the lives. This information is the first-hand resources to learn about a country into depth.

Besides, to save up money and time, surfing on the Internet is also a good choice to learn something about a country. Wikipedia helps people a lot to grasp the outline of a country they did not know before. If people do not satisfied with this brief information, they can go further on the Travel Websites so that they may know a country’s situation in details. Although the Internet does not offer a real chance for you to have a journey in another country, nevertheless, it is the convenient and economical way to learn a country you haven’t ever been to.

In conclusion, there are a variety of choices for us to decide. Therefore, visiting the museum to learn a country is just one of them. As to whether it is the best way, I am not certain because every one has his or her opinion.

ilovevickyUID: 2937658

9# wanderer_2011

谢谢好心人啊，你指出的很对，我会注意的。。。

jcf2008UID: 2681015

There is no doubt that people learn about a country through museums (There is no doubt that people can learn about a country through museums), but it is not the excellent way. It is too traditional to have a well-rounded perspective on a country, especially the (a) foreign country. Nowadays, people take insight into a country by many different routes (ways), which give them a new experience to know something about a country.



u, U, H2 C  X- f  g
First and foremost, visiting the museums only make people learn the history and culture about a country, however, they cannot know the modern aspects such as the fashion trend or the modern technology. I once visited the museums in China, which contains lots of antiques such as the bronze vessels, oracle bone and so on. People have some knowledge of the past China, while what is this country like today? Nothing can tell them by visiting the museum. On the contrary, if people live in China for a period of time, they will experience the lives that Chinese make. Of course, the most important thing is to talk with Chinese (local) people. From their mouths (chinglish! According to the conversation of the residents), people can learn something relevant to the reality of China. Chinese will talk about their families, work and something like that, even complaint about the lives. This information is the first-hand resources to learn about a country into depth.



Besides, to save up money and time, surfing on the Internet is also a good choice to learn something about a country. Wikipedia helps people a lot to grasp the outline of a country they did not know before. If people do (are) not satisfied with this brief information, they can go further on the Travel Websites so that they may know a country’s situation in details. Although the Internet does not offer a real chance (experience) for you to have a journey in another country, nevertheless, it is the (a) convenient and economical way to learn a country you haven’t ever been to (删去to, before).



In conclusion, there are a variety of choices for us to decide (make, decide 是结决定，make a choice才是选择). Therefore (And), visiting the museum to learn a country is just one of them. As to whether it is the best way (有些不通顺), I am not certain (it is certain事物/ I am not sure人) because every one has his or her opinion (favor).

总的来说，论证2个理由有些少了，可以多加一段；有些句子太中式，常用搭配不熟悉；文章论证不太有力，比较单薄。

ilovevickyUID: 2937658

11# jcf2008


11月20日交+ C- I2 D- {# F. H5 N-" c
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?

If government pays more attention to a project, it will give more money to this one. The government always takes social feedbacks, benefits and some other factor into account. From my perspective, the authority should give more financial support to universities education on the basis of a comprehensive factor.

First of all, the reward from the universities education is higher than young children project. Since universities education is the highest-standard of a country, the investment on this is worthy to be done. For example, Fu Dan University gain about RMB 5 million from the ministry of education, and then it is spent to expand the campus, build the health centre or renew the books of libraries. On one hand, these ever-changing developments promote the exchange of foreigner students and boast the university abroad. On the other hand, the adequate budget benefits the Fu Dan university’s students to have the high-quality education. As a result, graduates are more competitive than others in the job markets. In some sense, the reward from universities education is material enough to make the officials obtain the political achievements. So the government should maximize the profits.

Next, even if the financial budget is given to the very young children education, it does not necessarily mean the education will play an important role in the education system. Although someone thinks that the beginning of education is vital in a child’s life, I still argue that the young children education’s importance is not manifested in the financial aspect. In my cousin’s kindergarten which the government invests a lot, children learn and play in a excellent environment and teachers treat them like the apple of their eye. Children usually regard them as the prince of princess of the kindergarten, and they take these material conditions for granted. However, this has disadvantages over one’s grown-up. So the key-point of young children education lies in the cultivation of world-value or life- attitudes, not the easy circumstances.

What’s more, every party would like to take control of people and keep stability. So if the authority did not offer enough money to the university, the quality of education would be low-down, which was an unstable factor. The inadequate financial support will give rise to many disadvantaged phenomenon. The teachers are not qualified so that the unemployment rate of graduates is increasing, and the university students complain about that. Even the campus has so small space that university students wander in the street to commit the crime. These contradict the harmonious society. I guess that the government would rather give more money to the university.

In conclusion, I believe that the government will make a sensible choice between two different educations. The prospect of the university education is brilliant enough to predict. The government should focus on the effectiveness and the efficiency. The university education will not let it down.

emmafengxiUID: 2734678

改好咯~一起交流！

ilovevickyUID: 2937658

13# emmafengxi

11月25日In the busy and crowded world today, we should not expect people to be polite to each other

Although people today are busy with work, study or family chores, they still should abide by the fundamental rules in a society. To be polite is the basis attitudes towards others whatever you want to do.

Most people says that it is so busy that people can not be polite to each other, but I argue that to be polite will not waste their time. On the contrary, it will save one’s time. Take me for example, once upon a time, I wanted to apply for a position of internship in a big company, so I wrote an Email to a teacher who was familiar with me a lot during the study time, and I hope he can give me some suggestions. In this letter, I use the word, “please”, amounted to 11 times. I know I should be polite to him because it was my own business, and I need his help. Only after a night, he replied and said it was alright. I can imagine if I did rude to him in the Email, what would he do? Maybe I should have written another E-mail to him. It only took me a few seconds to write “please” to this teacher, which resulted in a meaningful reward from him. To be polite not only save people’s time, but also ensure them to have a good result.

To be polite will make the world not crowded. Of course, in the space sense, the society is crowded with people. However, if the relationships among them can be not crowded, the world will be better than before. After work, people are too tired to do anything. My aunt is an accountant in a big company. Her stress is serious enough to affect her life. She tells me that she can not tolerate that her new neighbor always ask some questions about her privacy, which she thinks is rude. Especially in current society, to be polite will promote the relationships between two parties, and it also can help the world to be less crowded. The distance between two people will be kept within in a reasonable limit.

In a brief, to be polite will push the development of the society, even a more harmonious one. Those who think people should not expect others to be polite are just looking for an excuse to not obey the moral principle.

ilovevickyUID: 2937658

14# ilovevicky

12月2日 Should an effective leader make others have been part of decision making?: G

It is of importance to make others involve in decision making. This polishes the decision more elaborate than to set aside others’ advice. Furthermore, it also gives more chance to make a safer determination.

First of all, in order to help the decision more perfect, an effective leader should have other members be part of decision. Thoughts vary from different people. The crystallization of all members’ ideas contributes to the team’s decision. For example, when meeting with difficulties in making the Christmas Party more creative, the monitor not only gives his advice, but also consults all students’ opinions in class. Some one suggests him to have a camp-party, others argue that a party should invite some teachers to take part in. finally, the monitor choose one of the best ideas o them. If the monitor did not give the rights for other students to involve in this problem, the decision he made alone would not be well-rounded.

Next, a sensible leader does not hope he will be responsible for all duty after the decision has been made. So he takes advantages of other members’ involvements to minimize his risk of decision- making. Take me for example, during my competition of moot court, I often adopt other partners’ considerations to improve my legal writing, especially when I should submit a writing on behalf of our team. This offers me a chance to distribute risks to everyone in the team. Dramatically, the writing is not good as we expected, but no one blames me, the leader. Thus, I believe that a good leader needs to be wise as well as talented.


In addition, to be more democratic, and a leader will enjoy the love from team members. To some extent, an excellent leader is good at listening as well as speaking. A wise leader should give speaking rights to others so that his position can be more stable. Of course, the members enjoy the freedom, not the control under a leader.

In conclusion, an effective and efficient leader should make others involve in the decision-making. This not only benefits the leader, but also the team, even the members.

fengyanhongUID: 2941762

It is of importance（一般一个有形容词形式的词 还是直接写is important吧） to make others involve->involved in decision making. This polishes the decision more elaborate than to set aside others’ advice. Furthermore, it also gives more chance to make a safer determination.

First of all, in order to help the decision more perfect, an effective leader should have other members be part of decision. Thoughts vary from different people. (vary的用法不妨再查一下，vary from people to people)The crystallization of all members’ ideas contributes to the team’s decision. For example, when meeting with difficulties in making the Christmas Party more creative, the monitor not only gives his advice, but also consults all students’ opinions in class. Some one->someone suggests him( to have)->having  a camp-party, others argue that a party should invite some teachers to take part in. finally, the monitor choose one of the best ideas o them.感觉在陈述例子的时候都改成过去式比较统一。 If the monitor did not give the rights for other students to involve in this problem, the decision he made alone would not be well-rounded（well-rounded这词用的好）.
Next, a sensible leader (does not hope he will似乎hope不妥)->is unwilling to be responsible for all duty after the decision has been made. So he takes advantages of other members’ involvements to minimize his risk of decision- making. Take me for example, during my competition of moot court, I often adopt other partners’ considerations to improve my legal writing, especially when I （should）->required to submit a writing on behalf of our team. This offers me a chance to distribute risks to everyone in the team. Dramatically, the writing is not (增加so)good as we expected, but no one blames me, the leader. Thus, I believe that a good leader needs to be wise as well as talented.
In addition, to be more democratic, and a leader will enjoy the love from team members. To some extent, an excellent leader is good at listening as well as speaking. A wise leader should give speaking rights to others so that his position can be more stable. Of course, the members enjoy the freedom, not the control under a leader.

In conclusion, an effective and efficient leader should make others involve in the decision-making. This not only benefits the leader, but also the team, even the members.

观点有层次，论据也有说服力，感觉你对作文的套路很熟悉了，考试加油！对细节再注意一下。你会成功的。