madfrog4227的作文帖

师走99UID: 2857041

12.3日独立，改完了~
12.3独立by madfrog-by师走.doc (27.5 KB, 下载次数: 1)

2010-12-4 14:36:25 上传

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madfrog4227UID: 2840905

12.4独立

WoYaoChiJiTuiUID: 2850295

12月4日独立
已改完，请查收

madfrog4227UID: 2840905

1# madfrog4227

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Playing sports teaches people more lessons about the life.

Different people may learn lessons from different kinds of things. Some get them by studying at school, others can obtain knowledge from working. As far as I am concerned, there is one important way- that is playing sports--from which we can learn a lot during our life.

Playing sports can teach us how to persist what we have been doing until to the end.The people who always attend sports activities would agree that sports can bring to us the spirit of perseverance. Just look at the athletes in the Olympic Games, the most significant quality people can gain from them, before the final result turns out, is never giving up.

Also, participating sports activities can cultivate people's positive attitude all the time. Just as many successful people states that the positive mental attitude can play an extremely important role in what they have accomplished. Take the most famous soccer club-Manchester United for example, many player of this club illustrated that they always enjoy the game, no matter whether they win or lose. It is just this kind of mental attitude which contributes to the remarkable achievements of this great club.

Last but not least, playing sports have been taught me to be more brave. I have play soccer since I was eleven years old It is the almost thirteen years experience that has helped me to become a more stronger man.For instance, I can still remember how nervous when I attended a game as a high school student. In that game, at last, we defeated the adversary. From many of these similar situations, eventually I have begin to understand that even the adversary is pretty strong or the task we are confronting is so difficult, the only thing I can do is to face it and not be afraid.

When I consider carefully about all the lessons which I procure from sports activities, I believe that not only the persistence, the positive mental attitude, and the courage can benefit me to have a better life in this society, but also there are many other good qualities can make me more confident and competitive. Consequently, playing sports is a good teacher who can teach quite a huge number of lessons to us.

madfrog4227UID: 2840905

3# madfrog4227

How to improve the quality of education has become a quite heated issue among people in our society  The opinions over this problem may be extremely divergent. There are some people would like to state that the best way to promote the quality of education in one nation is to pay more salaries to teachers. Contrary to this idea is my heartfelt agreement with the notion that teachers' wages are not the fundamental factor which contribute to the education's development.

To begin with, the administrators should adjust the setting of curriculums which the school supply to students. As all people know that what courses our educational system has provide can largely determine what these children can learn in the school. That means that, under our present social conditions, the deploy of curriculums not only should emphasize the training of academic skills, but also must stress the importance of cultivating other kinds of abilities, such as considering issues completely, resolving problems independently, and so forth.

What's more, education industry should let other social parts to participate in, including families, enterprises, and so forth. Just like the saying goes, "Parents is the best teacher of children." The notion reflected from this saying is that parents and supervisor can play a key role in cultivating their children. This is because that children have live with their parents for such a long time. It is this quite long period that make the learn their parents' life style, attitude of dealing with issues and other people, etc. Furthermore, take the America for example, the best university-that is Harvard University- in the United States is not the one set up by the government, but by private investors.It is various kinds of participants that help to urge the realm of education to become so competitive and ultimately to improve its quality.

Undeniably, rising teachers' salaries can stimulate their enthusiasm to spend more efforts to their teaching working. It other words, the increasing of their salaries can make them more guaranteed on economy. For instance, if a teacher receive more salary each month, he would not need to worry about the deficit of his or her family income. Probably, this sense of safe will help him or her to be more devoted to his or her job.

Considerable though the merits that increasing teachers' salaries bring about are, they can not compete with those advantages that adjusting the setting of curriculums and making the participants more various can lead to, if we are willing to improve the quality of education throughout. Consequently, we should adjust the deploy of curriculums unceasingly,and develop this area to be more competitive, only through that will our education be better and will our children have a more brighter future.  

madfrog4227UID: 2840905

12.6 独立

madfrog4227UID: 2840905

12.7独立

luckybabynanfuUID: 2938629

12.7revised

In our present society, peopel pursue their jobs with the consideration of different factors. Some of them may believe that salary is the primary elment for them to take this job. Contrary to this opinion is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that a job with more vacation apportunities（拼写错误） and low salary is better than the job with high salary but less vacation time.

First of all, a job which can provide more vacation but low salary will let people have more time to pay attention on（pay attention to） the(最好改成their) own things. In other words, if a person can have eough(拼写错误) free time, he（or she） would spend some part of this time in staying with their families and connecting with their friends. It is this chance that will help us to form deeper communication(有点别扭这。Establish good interpersonal relationship) with them. For example, I am a student who study away from home, I aways spend most of my vacaton in staying with my families. So beneficial is this communication that I always keep a quite harmonious relationship with my parents. (这个例子有点水。。。前面的话已经表达得很清楚了，而且大家都认可“假期能有更多时间stay with family。 一般，看到for example, 会让人很期待，接下来作者要讲一个怎样的事例。而这个例子看完发现是重复了一遍刚刚的话。例子要么展开，要么递进，要么反面例子“不这样后果很严重”。如果只是原来的话翻来覆去重讲，不如不写)

Another merit is that this kind of job, that is the job with more vacation but a low wage,(啰嗦了，直接 another merit of the job with more vacation but low wage 就好了) also benefit （和merit 重复，要么merit ofXXX is。。。，要么XXXbenefits us ，二者取其一）for us to improve our health condition. Having more vacation will let people get rid of the huge pressure from study and work （relieve the pressure of study and work） for a period of time. For instance, last year, my uncle get (时态) a heavy illness and the doctor said that the only thing he needed to do is taking（用不定式） a rest. What I have learn（时态） from this example is that while we focus most of our attention on our study or work, never can we igore（拼写错误） is that without a healthy body what we will achieve will be no meaning.（meaningless）

Admitted(词性，用副词), the job with high pay is tempting, especially in this society in which money can play such an significant role in our life. Notwithstanding, by no means can money be everything for us. Just like my uncle from the latter example, with moeny he can earn in his later life, nonetheless, without a healthy body can he enjoy nothing even he will obtain a lot from the job with high salary but less vacation（建议整个这可以删了。因为这个the job with high salary but less vacation表达已经在短短三百字的文章里重复了N遍了，.要么不断变换方式说。如果是直接用同样的表达方式，不如不要。 而且在这里。without a healthy body can he enjoy nothing句号就可以了，因为要表达的意思已经说清楚了，简单的句子会更有力量。）

Considerable though the money that the job-which has high salary but less vacaton-leads to are,they can never compete with the merits that the job-which owns less wages but more chance to have vacation-brings about, if the elements that a good relationship with families or friends and a healthy body can be taken into dileberation. （这一个长句太长了，而且有点绕。如果不是非常有信心写很漂亮的长句，不适合在结尾段写一个4-5行的句子，因为都期待结尾简单明了地看到你整篇的总结）Consequently, what we shoul do is find a job will let us more free time to enjoy our life, but the one will cost most of our time even it can offer so much money.（重复。。。。。。。but 后面全是可以删的废话了，因为整篇都在说。。。在写比较文章的时候，，what we should do isxxxxxx, what we should not do isXXXXX, 没有必要整篇都抄题目似地，把你不赞成地那个观点也原原本本再说一遍。只要在开头表达你支持的观点之后，只要你说，what we should do is xxx.后面就不用再抄一遍另一个观点了。因为你不说，所有的读者都知道对立面就是“should not do XXX”）
结尾有点冗长，建议重写。重申观点，避免重复性语言，要清晰。

泰迪是只熊UID: 2879878

好了，有些晚了~

madfrog4227UID: 2840905

12.8独立

madfrog4227UID: 2840905

12.11独立

pocketlionUID: 2622834

26# madfrog4227
写的很好～～

madfrog.doc (25 KB, 下载次数: 1)

2010-12-12 17:52:40 上传

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madfrog4227UID: 2840905

12.13独立

EEEE456258UID: 2454106

已改好
by EEEE456258.doc (23.5 KB, 下载次数: 4)

2010-12-14 14:52:49 上传

下载次数: 4

yaoxiang1015UID: 2311632

我也改好了~

因為現在我還不能發附件，就直接粘上來了。

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to hold a big party and invite many people to come than a small party where only a few close friends and family members are invited.

Different people like distinct ways of holding party(parties or a party). Some people would like to state that holding a big party will be better than attending a small party due to so many people you can meet. Contrary to this opinion is my heartfelt agreement with this idea that never can a big party be superior than a small party if more factors can be considered.

First of all, so noise is a big party that many people can hardly bear it. (so noise is a problem that many people hardly bear it in a big party.) In other words, just because a huge number of people is in the big party, no one can focus their attention on any person. Take my experience for instance, last week I attend a big party in a big bar. There are so many attendants in this party that we even could not hear each other's voice. Most of us are disappointed by this big party and claimed that we will never come to it again.

In addition, the small party can bring about more funny (bring about 後面應該加名詞，但是這裡funny的意思來看，是做動詞，我覺得用interests更好) to us. What I mean is, attending a small party in which there are just a few close friends of you will lead to(這裡去掉to比較好) you to enjoy the party a lot. For example, with your close friends, you can play poker, chat with them, or watch TV programs. Thus, never can a small party lack of enjoyment.

Admittedly, the big party will provide us an opportunity to get to know more people and make more friends. Especially for those people who are good at social communication, nothing can be better than this which offers them an excellent chance to meet as many people as they will.

Wonderful through these advantages that holding a big party brings about are, they can rarely compete with those merits that attending a small party leads to, if those elements-which are less noise and more funny in a small party can be taken into deliberation. Therefore, I disagree with the claim revealed by the author.

長難句的運用不錯，其中很多不一樣的句式。這也是我要學習的地方。
不過建議同學要多檢查自己的語法，這樣就更好了。
我的建議就那麼多了，小人作文也不好，見笑了~