issue2

头痛UID：138636

there is so much competition nowaday,full of all the fields and all of one's life.Nobody can
reject competition and also nobody can underestimate the benefit of the competition to society.

Competition,which is easy to understand,is a type of match between persons or groups or even nations,which finally produce the winner and the loser. According to Darwing's theory about the survival principle during the process of nature selection,the winner will survive and the loser will eliminate.it may seem terrible for a person but it is so beneficial to society.

First,it would be much more efficient for our society when the losser eliminate in the competition.In the nature history,there were so many species which had disappeared because their disability in the nature competition,and the remain are much stronger or have the special ability for their survivial.It is equal in the human society.The engagement of a company will be a good example for it.When people invite applications for job,they must show their abilities and adaptions to the position.And always the more capable one will be engaged.It is so cruel for the reject,but for the company,it will get much more benefit from choosing the more capable one rather than the reject,who will do better in his job and then give the company to have more chance to make more profit.and this will also benefit the society.The capability of the working people determine the development of a society. therefor, the society put away the discompetent people just like to put away the cumbrance of the development.

On the other hand,because nobody want to be the forsaken of the society,competition give people so much motivity to enhence their faculty and reinforce their power.To win in the Olympics Games stimulate the athlete to gain so tough training.And it is easy to understand why the world-record of the hectometre race of human has been reduced only to less than 9 sec.The record show that nowaday people can run faster and jump higher even than they do ten years ago.In school,competition make students to work much harder ,and also when they are members of a group,they will improve their team spirits when compete with other groups.In another field,such as economy,the competition between two companies may cause the improve of the quality of their product or their service.Even when the companies fall in the tragic of depreciation just to defeat their rivals, the public can share their depreciation and get benefit from it.

howerver,it can't be agreed to the people who defeate their rivals in illegimate way: the athlete take the incitant; Some people defame others just to win the position of the goverment;the Nation invade anothers just for the nature resource,and so on.All these can do nothing beneficial but only harmful to others.the pivot of competition is to improve ourselvs ,not to undermine others.

In conclusion,competition ,conducted in proper way, can stimulate people to make great efforts to enhence their power and throw off the nebbish of the society,accordingly,promote the development of the society.hence,it is beneficial and profitable to encourage competition in any fields.

头痛UID：138636

忘记报题目了：
2 "Competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society."

paisleyUID：64183

No.2 忘记报题目了： 2 "Competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society."
there is so much competition (competition是可数名词) nowadays(应是nowadays),full of all the fields (此处full of的用法完全反了, A is full of B, 是说B充满于A, 你的意思反了) and all of one's life. Nobody can
reject competition and also(否定句应用either) nobody can underestimate the benefit of the competition to society.

Competition,which is easy to understand,is a type of match between persons or groups or even nations,which finally produce (第三人称单数应加s) the winner and the loser. According to Darwing's(是Darwin) theory about the survival principle during the process of nature selection,the winner will survive and the loser will eliminate(表示”消亡”应该用die out).it may seem terrible for a person but it is so beneficial to society.

First,it would be much more efficient for our society when the losser (拼写错误) eliminate(同上) in the competition.In the nature history (in the history of the nature较佳),there were so many species which had disappeared because their disability in the nature competition,and the (应加一个ones,否则这句话不通) remain(应是remained,保持时态一致) are much stronger or have the special ability for their survivial.It is equal (不应该用equal,应是similar)in the human society.The engagement of a company will be a good example for it.When people invite applications for job(这种说法非常费解),they must show their abilities and adaptions(???那是得到工作以后的事情,次词不妥) to the position.And always the more capable one(最好用ones) will be engaged (用accepted或hired合适).It is so cruel for the reject,but for the company,it(这里的it和前面的it不是指同一个事物,尽量避免) will get much more benefit from choosing the more capable one rather than the reject,who will do better in his job and then give the company to have more chance (to have完全可以拿掉) to make more profit.and this will also benefit the society.The capability of the working people determine (第三人称单数应加s) the development of a society. Therefore(拼写错误), the society put(第三人称单数应加s)  away the discompetent(应是incompetent) people just like to put away the cumbrance of the development.

On the other hand,because nobody want(第三人称单数应加s)  to be the forsaken of the society,competition give(第三人称单数应加s)  people so much motivity to enhence(应是enhance) their faculty(次词平时很少作”本来”的意思,一般都指大学教职员工,最好换掉) and reinforce their power.To win in the Olympics Games stimulate the athlete to gain(这些训练不是gain来的) so tough training.And it is easy to understand why the world-record of the hectometre race of human has been reduced only to less than 9 sec.The record show(第三人称单数应加s) that nowaday people can run faster and jump higher even than they do ten years ago.In school,competition make students to work much harder ,and also when they are members of a group,they will improve their team spirits when compete with other groups.In another field,such as economy,the competition between two companies may cause the improve(应是improvement) of the quality of their product or their service.Even when the companies fall in the tragic of depreciation just to defeat their rivals, the public can share their depreciation and get benefit from it.

howerver,it can't be agreed(it can’t be agreed 这种说法非常别扭) to the people who defeate their rivals in illegimate way: the athlete take the incitant; Some people defame others just to win the position of the goverment;the Nation invade anothers just for the nature resource,and so on.All these can do nothing beneficial but only harmful to others.the pivot of competition is to improve ourselvs ,not to undermine others.

In conclusion,competition ,conducted in proper way, can stimulate people to make great efforts to enhence their power and throw off the nebbish of the society,accordingly,promote the development of the society.hence,it is beneficial and profitable to encourage competition in any fields.

你的冠词掌握得不好，a the 这些词都没有加.
有些句子开头字母没有大写, 标点后面都应该空格.
你的语言还很弱, 比较多的地方都很混乱. 建议好好练练选词和句子结构.

感觉正篇文章写得太浅,还停留在托福作文的水平上。建议你多看范文,体会他们是怎么写的深入的

而且有点偏题. 题目都说了，竞争的好处大于坏处, 也就是说，它承认竞争是有坏处的, 只是要你比较. 你绝口不提坏处, 也就无从比较了.

你这篇文章似乎是有范文的，或者是前人写过。你可以搜索一下，对照一下这些文章。


希望你也能多多修改其他朋友的文章。如果觉得自己的英文还不是特别好，那么不一定要改他们的词句, 提点结构上和想法上的建议也是好的。因为你不可能每个题目都练过来啊，看别人的题目，自己脑子过一遍,既可以给别人提建议，自己又多了一次训练的机会.为别人服务的人优先得到斑竹的修改哦！

头痛UID：138636

paisley，太感谢你了。。。。我一定要努力了。。。。。

有一个问题想请教一下：关于那个the remain，我原来以为可以像the young 这种用法呢，不对吗？

paisleyUID：64183

the young是因为young本身是形容词，可以加the表示一类人。
而remain是动词呀，不能这样的

头痛UID：138636

哦。。。对阿，忘记这个了。。。。谢谢。。。。

如果使用the remained有没有错呢？

paisleyUID：64183

对呀，我就是这样改的啊

头痛UID：138636

哦，不好意思，我的意思没说清楚：
我是指不在其中加one,也就是不用the one remained，而是沿用the young这种结构，用remained做为类似形容词，the remained代表留下的那一部分人，这样可以吗？

头痛UID：138636

对于这种the+adj的用法不是很清楚，大家能给点意见吗？

paisleyUID：64183

最初由 头痛 发布
[B]哦，不好意思，我的意思没说清楚：
我是指不在其中加one,也就是不用the one remained，而是沿用the young这种结构，用remained做为类似形容词，the remained代表留下的那?.

以下省略...... [/B]

对，就是这样，the remained也可以。

一般用the加形容词构成名词性短语的，有the rich , the poor, the young,  the old,  这些是最常见的，其他就少见了

头痛UID：138636

谢谢paisley.....................:)

你的发贴数很惊人哦......