作文求高手指点

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下面是题目和我写的文章，求高手们帮忙点评一下

A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different  parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer.

    For a person's growth, the most important period is adolescence. This period is the time of the formation of one's values and even it will affect the future of the person. So the education in the adolescence of a person is very important. It will helpful in future for a person if he could get better education, and vice versa.

    As mention the important of early education, It have to discuss the current model. We usually adopt this two model，the first is that deliver the free of the determination of course to individual schools and the second is that establish a uniform curriculum system by nation so every school in this nation have to accord this system.

    The first model, we could call it loose model, has some advantages.  In a large nation, as we could suppose that every part of this nation has its local culture,such as dialect, habit and so on ,and even ,every individual has his own characteristic. So this method could let the schools to choose the curriculum that more appropriate for their students. Although it has these advantage,but this model also has it's shortage. For instance, the knowledge of the local school's constitutor might be insufficiency ,thus the curriculum they hold would be incomplete. However the knowledge the students required in this period is crucial for enter college and support comprehensive information for the student to select which major the will study. Even the first adacemic year of the  college in the United State does not teach any professional course, just to help students determine the major. So the pre-college curriculum is critical for students and give them enough information to direct their direction. For this reason, the curriculum of this period should at least determine by the persons who have more knowledge.

    The second model, called centralized model, appreciate solved the problem described above. For the pre-college curriculum ,the quality is more important than diverse. Turn the right of determination of these course to the government could get this a high quality. Because, by contrast to the local schools,the government has more resources to complete that, these resources involve money, information, more professional constitutor and so on. Through these huge resource, it could ensure that the curriculum system they determined would more quality than that drafted by the local school. Another benefit of this method is that it could reduce the cost. The sum of the cost of determine the course that all part of local schools consume apparently more than a centralized government's non-installment payment.    

    In conclusion, whether for the more efficient study or reduce costs reason,determine the curriculum system by national government is more effective.