issue11

一分钱UID: 136695

[/SIZE]11"All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."

With the development of sciense and technology in our era,especially the modernization of communication and transportation,all nations in the earth have been more tightly compacted than ever before,which contributes to the diffusion and exacerbation of some serious social problems allover the world,such as terrorism,drug abuse,and energy crises and so forth.It is necessary to establish and develop a global university to understand and eventually try to solve these global social problems.Nevertheless,people can not expect that this university is a panacea to all global difficulties because of the complexity of situations of different nations.

Modern communication and transportation(mobile telephones,e-mail,planes, for example )make people contact and meet each other more and more easily.with e-mail we can easily get in touch with a friend living in a place thousands of kilometers away,and then get there and visit him by plane effortlessly.However,at the same time,the terrorists and vipers can do the same.Therefore,such social problems as terrorism and drug abuse have been diffusing and exacerbating,which has severely disturbed the social stabilization of all nations and embarrassed the economic development of the globe. No single nation can collect, analyse the total relevant informations and ultimately solve all the problems because of the limit of perspectives and abilities.To do it,the global university provides an great opportunity for all students come from everywhere to study the problems,exchange related information, understand each other,and learn to see this world in a larger picture,and eventually propose realizable solutions to those difficulties in the world.  

Simply put,without such a global university,all nations would find it impossible to apprehend how these things occur ,and difficult to deal with those out of their boundaries which perhaps are the very source of the trouble.Furthermore,without communication,the diverse efforts come from different nations can probably become new fuses of distrust and misconception between nations.

However,people can not expect that all troubles could be settled through this global university because of distinct positions of different nations.Take aborticide for example,some nations steadily object aborticide thinking that it is a kind of murder,whereas other nations support it arguing that it is a very right to women everybody can not deprive.It is possible to find a method accepted by all nations to solve such a problem,therefore ,we have to continue to look for other approachs unremittingly.

In conclusion,I argue that all nations should support the development of the global university which can strengthen the communication and understanding between nations,and help to find effective solutions to those persistent social problems.Nevertheless,we have to realize soberly that it can not solve all troubles in the world,and we have to search other methods continuously.

paisleyUID: 64183

语言方面很好了，几乎没错。只是有些地方如果句式能更复杂些、长段句交错，就更好。另外，标点后面要空格。这些规范要注意。

说理方面，你的两个论点都不错，但是你没有深入的讨论下去，只是泛泛地说了些大家都说过的东西，然后举几个例。说理方面，最好能在细节上展开。一层一层剖析。建议你看看精华区的范文，分析他们是怎么说理的。



希望你也能多多修改其他朋友的文章。提点结构上和想法上的建议也是好的。因为你不可能每个题目都练过来啊，看别人的题目，自己脑子过一遍,既可以给别人提建议，自己又多了一次训练的机会.为别人服务的人优先得到斑竹的修改哦！

一分钱UID: 136695

多谢！我会努力的！！