**茶叶蛋炒饭**第六次作业 ARG53 请组员跟帖

saybia1993UID: 2625112

Due to the survey of 25 infants and their follow-up data, the author claims that melatonin, a kind of hormone, can induce people to show a continuing shyness from infancy to their later life.(问题，开头概括，需要把东西全说清楚吗？)Although the argument seemed reasonable at first glance, it actually fails to support its conclusion through logical statement and thus have several flaws.


The conclusion of argument first based on a known survey of a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. However, there are two events in this survey which fails to fully convince people. First, the samples of survey lack the ability to support the result that mild distress of infants who have been conceived in early autumn is a universal phenomenon. Lacking the background and enough amounts of samples, it is possible that these newborns are happened to be more sensitive to the outside stimuli. Moreover, the mild stress, which described by author, cannot reflect shyness as the phenomenon may caused by physical discomfort or other logical reasons expect shyness.


More important, the first half of the conclusion as: increased level of melatonin before birth cause shyness neglect the fact that whether mother’s hormone increase has direct connection or not with children’s shyness. The hormone, called melatonin, has little scientific information or details presented by the author of argument. We cannot conclude how the hormone influence characteristic of newborns in scientific basis. We even don’t know which one between mother and baby may be affected by the hormone produced by mother, though the argument presented that melatonin can affect some brain function. The blurring boundary of definition has poor ability to present result in a clear and direct way.


Content of follow-up study cannot make sense to the latter part of the conclusion as: shyness continues into later life. Even though the signs of distress identified the samples of survey as shy, the causes of shyness are unwarranted. It is a common agreement that formation of one’s character rely on many factors. For instance, culture, society, parents, relatives and so forth. Maybe some children original open-minded but grew up in different cultures and affected by their own parents who were shyness finally represented the shyness characters as well. If the author of argument wants to strengthen the persuasion of permanently influence by melatonin, he must add more evidence which could be either the true and effective scientific result or the long-term observation of samples of survey.

To put all the nuts in a shell, the conclusion is dubious and suspicious at best. In order to persuade us, the author should make his survey more comprehensively and carefully. In addition, he must present scientific result which can detailed illustrate the process of function of one thing.


This article was created by ID:saybia1993 independently at 2011/1/20.  Confirm letter number of GRE AW test : 8850000000521508.  This article only can be used for study and exchange individually. All rights reserved.

原地兜风UID: 2812262

In this argument, the author represents 2 surveys and concludes that melatonin can cause shyness during infancy and adolescence. As far as I see, this conclusion is too arbitrary and is lack of solid ground.

In the first place, the author provides an experiment that 25 infants act abnormally when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli. He implied that the reactions of the babies are abnormal, but not enough evidence is provided to support his idea. Maybe it is an instinct of all infants as a system of natural protection because they are not familiar with this world and feel uncomfortable when confronted with strange things. So unless more babies' reactions to the same stimuli are provided, the author's idea is suspected.

Even if what he imply is right, I am not convinced that this dysfunction is caused by the increase of melatonin. The study conducts that these infants are likely to be conceived in early autumn, however, many factors can attribute to this distinction. For example, do they consider the mothers' specific living habits? Do the mothers have preference on particular food or do their living environments have some things in common? What if the mothers all had unusual experience during their pregnancy like being scared or something? All these questions should be taken into account. Even if the shyness was really caused by the time when they are conceived, the possibility exists that the autumn affects many other factors and some of them lead to this abnormal reaction. Considering the frigid air and the windy weather, the physical conditions of the mothers are certainly influenced in that period. As a result, it is likely the infants are affected by the bad weather. So a better solution would be a control test carried out to testify the relationship between hormone and the shyness of infants.

Last but not least, whether the shyness can continue into later life is not well illustrated. Common sense informed me that the character of a person is mold as a result of combined reasons. I am not clear about the living and studying environment of these adolescent. Possibility exists that they are raised in a confined social circle so they can not deal relationships with others normally. In order to justify his claim, the author needs to provide more detail information about the children's situation. I also want to emphasize another element. Did the young men evaluate them in an objective way? It is human's nature to put a rigorous standard on themselves. Maybe these men are outgoing enough in other people's eyes, but they are just not satisfied about their performance.

From what I have discussed above, I am convinced that the author's evidence is poor to support his conclusions. Further study need to be conducted to prove his idea.



Due to the survey of 25 infants and their follow-up data, the author claims that melatonin, a kind of hormone, can induce people to show a continuing shyness from infancy to their later life. Although the argument seemed reasonable at first glance, it actually fails to support its conclusion through logical statement and thus have several flaws.

The conclusion of argument first based on a known survey of a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. However, there are two events (这个词是不是有点大) in this survey which fails (fail) to fully convince people. First, the samples of survey lack the ability to support the result (应该是观点吧，conception) that mild distress of infants who have been conceived in early autumn is a universal phenomenon. Lacking the background and enough amounts of samples, it is possible that these newborns are happened to be more sensitive to the outside stimuli. Moreover, the mild stress, which described by author, cannot reflect shyness as the phenomenon may caused by physical discomfort or other logical reasons expect shyness.

More important, the first half of the conclusion as: increased level of melatonin before birth cause shyness neglect (neglects) the fact that whether mother’s hormone increase has (a) direct connection or not with children’s shyness. The hormone, called melatonin, has little scientific information or details presented by the author of argument. We cannot conclude how the hormone influence characteristic of newborns in scientific basis. We even don’t know which one between mother and baby (建议which后替换为whose physical health,能更清楚一些) may be affected by the hormone produced by mother, though the argument presented that melatonin can affect some brain function. The blurring boundary of definition has poor ability to present result in a clear and direct way.

Content of follow-up study cannot make sense to the latter part of the conclusion as: shyness continues into later life. Even though the signs of distress identified the samples of survey as shy, the causes of shyness are unwarranted. It is a common agreement that formation of one’s character rely (relies) on many factors. For instance, culture, society, parents, relatives and so forth (can all influence individual’s personality). Maybe some children original (naturally可能好一点) open-minded but grew up in different cultures and affected by their own parents who were shyness finally represented the shyness characters (character) as well. If the author of argument wants to strengthen the persuasion of permanently (permanent) influence by melatonin, he must add more evidence which could be either the true and effective scientific result or the long-term observation of samples of survey.

To put all the nuts in a shell, the conclusion is dubious and suspicious at best (at best在此处不太合适，可以考虑at least). In order to persuade us, the author should make his survey more comprehensively and carefully. In addition, he must present scientific result which can detailed illustrate the process of function of one thing(具体点明hormone).



不好意思，能力所限，没能在文章结构上和逻辑推理上提出意见，本文观点是比较明确的，至于你提出的问题，我认为，开篇简要交代一下题目不会有坏处，只要简洁，不与文章雷同就可以。

口含太阳UID: 2959623

This argument claims that increased levels of melatonin before birth give rise to shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life. However, it cites flawed studies, making the conclusion unconvincing.

Firstly, the previous study did not rule out unfamiliar stimuli as the causes of mild infant distress. This argument clearly mentioned that 25 infants showed signs of mild distress in response to unusual odor or unknown audio material. It is likely that unfamiliar stimuli might be the cause of mild distress rather than melatonin. The fact that these infants were conceived in early autumn when their mothers’ production of melatonin was increased might be a coincidence with the distress rather than the real cause of it. Unfamiliar stimuli might be what really disturbed the infants. After all, it is understandable that infants would be deprived the sense of safety when exposed to the unknown.

In addition to excluding unfamiliar stimuli, comparison should be offered to examine the role of melatonin. This study should have been an controlled experiment in which another group of infants born in days with ample daylight should be included. In this case, the researchers can  compare the results between those who enjoy ample daylight and those who are devoid of daylight. Since production of melatonin varies according to the length of daylight, such an controlled experiment can offer information about how melatonin affects infants’ temper. Besides, in order to obtain a accurate result, the sample needs to be enlarged. This sample is too small to draw any general conclusion.

The argument is inconsistent in that it does not confirm any signs of shyness during infant whereas it asserts that shyness continues from infancy into later life. Distress and shyness are different things. The former denotes unhappiness while the latter indicates the reluctance in interpersonal communication. Although sometimes shyness would cause distress, there are some shy people who can be very happy. So the failure in proving that shyness accompanies mild distress during their infancy makes the conclusion illogical.

Last, the follow-up study did not prove the distress and shyness facing these teenagers were due to the possible long-term effect of melatonin. Since only more than half of them underwent such psychological problems, there could be other possible reasons that can account for such observation. It is a common phenomenon in every culture that adolescents become very discontented with their life; some of them start to lead a secluded life, refusing frequent contacts with peers, because psychological unsteadiness always accompanies physical transformation. Thus, signs of distress and shyness might be motivated by such psychological transition rather than the so-called continuing effects of melatonin.

In all, the argument and the studies it cites display some flaws which make the conclusion ill follow the premises. Many affecting elements should be excluded. A scientific controlled experiment should be conducted, in order to investigate the effects of melatonin.

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Citation not allowed


In this argument, the author represents[为什么选这个词?] 2 surveys and concludes that melatonin can cause shyness during infancy and adolescence.[不准确哦~是shyness in infancy continues into later life. 是一个持续过程, 如果仅仅在infantry和adolescence, 那就不包括5,6,7,8岁了, 原文是说从infantry持续到adolescence] As far as I see, this conclusion is too arbitrary and is lack of[lacking in] solid grounds.

In the first place, the author provides an experiment that 25 infants act abnormally when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli. He implied[没有暗示, 原文是showed, 过去时, 表示已经发生的事实] that the reactions of the babies are abnormal, but not enough evidence is provided to support his idea.[同前, 婴儿的这种异常反应是事实] Maybe it is an instinct of all infants as a system[sign] of natural protection[defense] because they are not familiar with this world and feel uncomfortable when confronted with strange things. So unless more babies' reactions to the same stimuli are provided, the author's idea is suspected. [接着你的文章说, 如果足够样本的婴儿还是有异常反应, 那也说明不了什么. 因为真正的问题在于, 无法界定到底是陌生的声音和气味在起作用, 还是melatonin]

Even if what he imply is right, I am not convinced that this dysfunction[not that severe] is caused by the increase of melatonin. The study conducts[shows] that these infants are likely to be conceived in early autumn, however, many factors can attribute[contribute] to this distinction[]. For example, do they consider the mothers' specific living habits? Do the mothers have preference on particular food or do their living environments have some things in common? What if the mothers all had unusual experience during their pregnancy like being scared or something? All these questions/possibilities should be taken into account. Even if the shyness was really caused by the time when they are conceived, the possibility exists that the autumn affects many other factors and some of them lead to this abnormal reaction. Considering the frigid air and the windy weather[不是所有秋天都有frigid air and windy weather. 但是秋天日照都会变短], the physical conditions of the mothers are certainly influenced in that period. As a result, it is likely the infants are affected by the bad weather. [孕期的坏天气使新生儿distressed这个没啥依据吧, 也不是常识吧, 这个likely真的不太好联想] So a better solution would be a control test carried out to testify to the relationship between hormone and the shyness of infants.

Last but not least, whether the shyness can continue into later life is not well illustrated. Common sense informed(informs; 建议换个词吧, 这个词用的太别扭了, 或者直接删除前面这个主句, 直接说the character of …) me that the character of a person is mold as a result of combined reasons. I [”I”不要介入, 显得很主观, 可以理解责任在你. 你直接说author没有提供什么信息] am not clear about the living and studying environment of these adolescent. Possibility exists that they are raised in a confined social circle so they can not[cannot] deal relationships with others normally. In order to justify his claim, the author needs to provide more detail[detailed] information about the children's situation. I also want to[too personal, plz be objective,不是因为你想要强调, 是因为有内容(根据逻辑,等等)应该被强调] emphasize another element. Did the young men[who do you mean?] evaluate them in an objective way? It is human's nature to put a rigorous standard on themselves[?]. Maybe these men are outgoing enough in other people's eyes, but they are just not satisfied about their performance.[最后这几句看不太懂…]

From what I have discussed above, I am convinced that the author's evidence is too poor to support his conclusions. Further study need to be conducted to prove his idea.

澈透水痕rachelUID: 2868066

This argument is logically unconvincing in some aspects. Merely based on a study of a group of 25 infants along with a follow-up survey and some foregone information about the hormone melatonin, it’s too hasty for the author to draw the conclusion that increased level of melatonin is a leading factor for the shyness during infancy and their later life. The reasons are stated as follows.

To begin with, let’s turn to the first study. In the argument, the author assumes that the study of 25 infants is reliable both on statistics and theory levels. However, from this study, we find no sign of such procedures for random sampling and have good reason to doubt if the sample is representative enough to reflect the general situation of all babies. For example, the survey population is too small to be informed. Unless with a representative sample and adequate survey population can a conclusion be convincing. What’s more, no direct evidence is provided to show that it’s the high level of mother’s production Melatonin that resulted in the distress showed by the infants studied. A mild distress reaction to the unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice may only be a normal biological reaction. It’s unfounded to reach the conclusion involved in the argument until the author provides further evidence to exclude all these concerns.

Despite the flaws with the first study, the second problem in this argument is that the follow-up survey also suffers from several weaknesses. On the one hand, it is unwarranted to assume someone to be shy only by his own identity. The author has to define shy first before he makes such a hasty conclusion. On the other hand, the author fails to consider and rule out other factors that might account for the shyness. Even if these children are more likely to be shy, the mere fact is insufficient evidence to conclude that the melatonin is the only factor attributing to shyness. Common sense and knowledge tells us that variety of other factors such as family influence, growing situation and specific cultivation also play significant roles. Without eliminating such scenarios, the author can hardly make us believe that melatonin decides one’s shyness.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility for that it rests on some dubious assumptions which demolish it as it stands. To bolster the argument, the author should consider the given factors discussed above, cite more evidence that is more persuasive and offer more information on the relationship between levels of melatonin and shyness.

This article was created by ID:澈透水痕rachel independently at 2011/1/23,  Confirm letter number of GRE AW test: 8850000000507136.This article only can be used for study and exchange individually. All rights reserved.




改楼上的。。。
Merely based on unfounded assumptions and dubious evidence, the statement draws a conclusion that not only increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness but also this shyness during infancy and later life. To justify the conclusion, the arguer attributes sensitiveness most to the intake of increased levels of melatonin. In addition, he cites the study that the infants have been teenagers, but more than half of these children had shown themselves as shy. However, this alone neither constitutes a logical argument in favor of the conclusion nor provides compelling support for making a sound argument. The arguer ignores certain important concerns, which must be addressed to prove.（写得挺清楚的，但是寄托上好像一直对这种经典的XDF式模板开头持否定态度。。。。。）
At the beginning, the arguer assumes that the research results(the results of the research) about a group of infants who suffered from mild distress are reliable. Yet, the arguer provides insufficient evidence to support this assumption. The arguer must inform me that the number twenty five is enough to assign valid generalization to this assumption and these samples to test whether there is necessary connection between earlier shyness and the time when the infant is born. Also, the soundness and scientificalness
of the study must be substantiated to ensure the dependability of the conclusion. Without comparison（comparing） with other infants who are not born in autumn, we could not sweep out other possible cause of earlier shyness. For example, their parents' gene or the nutrition ingested by their mothers during pregnant. Unless the study is improved to a scientific extent, I （这样写好像不大好）will not be convinced.

Secondly, even assuming that the research results is reliable, it is irrational to infer that increased levels of melatonin before birth are the primary factors cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life. The arguer ignores a host of other possible（possibilities）. Perhaps melatonin is a hormone known to affect some brain functions, but the hormone doesn't affect infants. It is even possible that teenagers, showed signs of mild distress at research thirteen years ago, recognised themselves as shy cause environment impact child personality during growing（这句话表述有没问题啊，虽然大意是懂的）. Or perhaps these teenagers are uncomfortable in physiology by a follow-up study conducted. Without ruling out all other such factors, the arguer cannot justifiably conclude that the shyness of children ground on melatonin.

In conclusion, the recommendation the arguer made relies on certain doubtful assumptions that render it unconvincing as it stands. To bolster the recommendation, the author must provide clear evidence that the melatonin function, whether the affection of melatonin is lasting, and the other factors whether affect infants' character（中国式英语）.

整个逻辑挺清楚的。。。就是两点逻辑错误好像少了点啊。。。。

zoezjwUID: 2903541

The argument claims a causal relationship between increased levels of melatonin before birth and shyness during infancy, which seems invalid for lack of evidence. And the follow-up study cannot strongly prove the continuity of shyness.

First of all, the author unfairly identifies the signs of being displeased by unfamiliar stimuli as features of shyness. Those 25 infants may be sensitive to stimuli that are unusual to them for the instinctive preference for staying in a familiar environment, not because of their shyness. For instance, a baby may be much easier to fall asleep in its mother’s arms than in a stranger’s because it feels safe and comfortable from familiarity. There even exists the possibility that almost every infant will be slightly distressed by unfamiliar stimuli. Therefore, the author needs to make a distinction to improve the argument. If the group of 25 infants can be described as shy, what kind of infants are the opposite, i.e. outgoing ones? What’s the outgoing infants’ reaction toward stimuli like an unusual scent or an unfamiliar voice?

In addition, there is not sufficient evidence to prove that increased level of melatonin is the real reason for the “shyness” during infancy. Let alone the question how a baby’s character can be related to a decrease of melatonin in mother’s body at the moment of conception, however, the argument still contains flaws in the logical perspective. The author confuses correlation with causal relationship. Those 25 infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, when their mothers’ production of melatonin would increase naturally. The fact that these two things happened in the same time cannot be logically interpreted as that they are cause and effect.   

Apart from the questionable reasoning mentioned, the argument fails to take into account alternative explanations for more than half of those children’s shyness in the follow-up study. The teenagers’ shyness can result from various factors rather than the lasting impact of melatonin. To be specific, how those children are socialized can have a great influence on their character. If the parents strictly limit the chance that a child can play with peers, or seldom take the child to do outdoor activities, it is very likely the child will turn out to be a shy teenager. Accordingly, the author should rule out the other possible reasons to validate his conclusion. Besides, the continuity of shyness is open to doubt due to the lack of further information.

To sum up, the argument draws a hasty conclusion merely base on the one-side study and its following-up. For improvement, the study may need to add a comparing group, and more specific information should be provided.

This article was created by ID:zoezjw independently at 2011/1/24.  Confirm letter number of GRE AW test : 8850000000525209.  This article only can be used for study and exchange individually. All rights reserved.



This argument is logically unconvincing in some aspects. Merely based on a study of a group of 25 infants along with a follow-up survey and some foregone information about the hormone melatonin, it’s too hasty for the author to draw the conclusion that increased level of melatonin is a leading factor for the shyness during infancy and their later life. The reasons are stated as follows.

To begin with, let’s turn to the first study（let's... 不合适）. In the argument, the author assumes that the study of 25 infants is reliable both on statistics and theory levels. However, from this study, we find no sign of such procedures for random sampling and have good reason to doubt if the sample is representative enough to reflect the general situation of all babies. For example, the survey population is too small to be informed. Unless with a representative sample and adequate survey population can a conclusion be convincing. What’s more, no direct evidence is provided to show that it’s the high level of mother’s production Melatonin that resulted in the distress showed by the infants studied. A mild distress reaction to the unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice may only be a normal biological reaction. It’s unfounded to reach the conclusion involved in the argument until the author provides further evidence to exclude all these concerns.

Despite the flaws with the first study, the second problem in this argument is that the follow-up survey also suffers from several weaknesses. On the one hand, it is unwarranted to assume someone to be shy only by his own identity. The author has to define shy first before he makes such a hasty conclusion. On the other hand, the author fails to consider and rule out other factors that might account for the shyness. Even if these children are more likely to be shy, the mere fact is insufficient evidence to conclude that the melatonin is the only factor attributing to shyness. Common sense and knowledge tells us that variety of other factors such as family influence, growing situation and specific cultivation also play significant roles. Without eliminating such scenarios, the author can hardly make us believe that melatonin decides one’s shyness.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility for that it rests on some dubious assumptions which demolish it as it stands. To bolster the argument, the author should consider the given factors discussed above, cite more evidence that is more persuasive and offer more information on the relationship between levels of melatonin and shyness.

思路很清晰，但感觉中间两段论证不够深入，可考虑适当展开。