issue50【1106G】gelivable小组 第1次作业

315556264UID: 2726000

写的不好，请猛拍~


题目：ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
字数：477
用时：大于2h
日期：2011/1/29 19:50:06

提纲：
TS: 基本上同意作者的观点，但是要求所有交易都要参加有些偏激和绝对，应该考虑到一些特殊情况和负面影响。
正：教员参加实践活动确实有好处
1.了解最新的学术动态，跟上时代步伐，让学生了解更前沿的情况。
2.了解当今社会的需求，改变课程设置，是学生学以致用。
3.实践是获得经验的途径。例：MBA老师可以参与到公司的实际运营操作中，得到宝贵的管理经验，有利于教学和研究。
反：并不是所有老师都有必要参加
1.有些学科没有相应工作，比如哲学
2.有些学科实践代价高难度大，宇宙探索
3.实践会占用老师大量时间和精力，这些时间和精力放在提高表达能力上可能会更有效。




According to the speaker, all teachers at the college and university should be required to spend time working in professions relevant to the courses they teach to improve the quality of instruction. I fundamentally agree with the speaker's abroad assertion that working outside the academic world might help to better the quality of teaching. However, It is too extreme that all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world.

One reason for my fundamentally agree with the speaker is that faculty will gain many useful information which is very important for themselves and students through join in the work relevant to the courses they teach. Such information may contain the newest developmental trends of research and the express social need. Learning the fresh trend of academic research may give some help to faculty's research. Moreover, faculty can let their students know the newest information of their courses. On the other hand, faculty can give more useful advice which are relevant to future professions to their students and teach more relevant content at their course when consider the true need of society.

Another reason why I essentially agree with the speaker is that practice is an effective way to get experience. Since there are a lot of difference between campus and working environment, faculty can experience totally different condition which can give advice and inspiration to them. For example, the teacher who teaches MBA at university or college may summarize the most effective way of profiting and managing after he/she join in the practical work of a company. Through this way, the faculty not only can get a break of research but also have some really valuable content to teach their students.

However, even faculty can benefit a lot from working outside, it does not necessary indicate that all faculty should do the same thing, especially considering below conditions. First, there are many disciplines which not have relevant work outside the academic world. For instance, it is difficult to find a job for a philosopher apart from the university and college. Secondly, the cost of practice is extremely high in some regions. It is hard to imagine NASA will arrange a space travel for a teacher who teaches cosmos in university. Thirdly, working outside the academic world will take a lot faculty's time and energy which spent on learning how to express will have better effect. Thus, when university and college decide which faculty should be required to work outside campus, they should considering special condition of their faculty’s discipline.

In conclusion, admittedly, working outside the academic world have positive influence to improve teaching quality for faculty at university and college level, and practice out of campus will bring useful information and inspiration to faculty. Nevertheless, the leaders of university or college should consider the cost and necessity when it comes to certain disciplines.

tutuhedouUID: 2971121

In this argument the author concludes that the demand for heating oil will be increased and recommends the client to invest Consolidated Industries whose major business operations去掉s啦 is the retail sale of home heating oil. To justify this recommendation the author points out that there were 这边语法不对哦（there be + 完成时的）many homes has been built in the northeastern United States, where winters are typically cold and homes in this region have traditionally used oil as their major fuel for heating, and the author also points out that climate forecasters at Waymarsh University predict that the cold weather which this region has experienced pattern will continue for several more years. Careful examination of this supporting evidence find it lend little support to this recommendation.

First of all, homes having traditionally used oil as their major fuel for heating我记得完成时不能做后置定语 does not necessary mean they will continue this tradition in the future. Perhaps, for because of 比较对 the cold weather, they will change their tradition to some effective and environmental friendly fuel. 这句话只是说了冷天气会让他们改变选择 但没有具体说明清楚前后关系 还可以加点解释什么的Thus, without credible evidence that the using of oil of homes homes that using ……in the northeastern United States will continue for several more years, I cannot accept the author's conclusion that the demand for heating oil will be increased.

Secondly, even if these homes will continue using oil as their heating fuel, there is no clear evidence that the prediction which make is made by the climate forecaster at Waymarsh University is credible. It is entirely possible that there are many contrary forecast made by some authoritative weather forecasters. Thus, only one prediction hardly suffice to prove the dickey weather will continue for several more years.这段有点单薄 独立成段不是很必要啊
Thirdly, many new houses built in this region does not indicate that their there will be more residents living in there. The author overlooks the possibility that this homes are prepared for the tourists living in the south to escape from the hot summer. Without accounting for this possibility the author cannot convincingly conclude that the using quantity of heating oil will be increased.
第一点和第三点我感觉就反映了一个问题就是：需求量不一定增加 是不是可以合并一起呢Finally, even assuming that the demand of heating oil is increased, the author cannot reasonably conclude that his or her client should invest Consolidated Industries (CI). 这个是作者建议 没有conclude It is entirely possible that the leader of CI is inefficient 这个词换下and CI cannot profit from this business, or perhaps there are some other companies whose major operations is sale of heating oil and invest in these companies is profitable and advisable.没讲清楚其他公司可能有得优势
In sum, the argument relies on certain doubtful assumptions that render it unconvincing. To bolster this argument the author must provide clear evidence to justify the demand of heating oil will be increased and the cold weather will continue. To better assess this argument, I would also need to know whether the leader of CI is effective or there is no other company which is more profitable than CI.（总结可以把作者观点加进去 就是这个投资是不明智的）我感觉哦 所列出的点太多太散了 是不是能把它们归类一下或者就其中几个点反驳得再有力一点
句型方面的话 there be 用的太多了 主语不够多元化啦

tutuhedouUID: 2971121

1# 315556264
According to the speaker, all teachers at the college and university should be required to spend time working in professions relevant to the courses they teach to improve the quality of instruction. I fundamentally agree with the speaker's abroad assertion that working outside the academic world might help to better the quality of teaching. However, It is too extreme that all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world.

One reason for my fundamentally agree(agreement) with the speaker is that faculty will gain many(much)useful information which is very important for themselves and students through join(joining) in the work relevant to the courses they teach. Such information may contain the newest developmental trends of research and the express social need. Learning the fresh trend of academic research may give some help to faculty's research. Moreover, faculty can let their students know the newest information of their courses. On the other hand,（我觉得还是同一方面啊，这个连词用的有问题） faculty can give more useful advice which are relevant to future professions to their students and teach more relevant content at their course when consider the true need of society.

Another reason why I essentially agree with the speaker is that practice is an effective way to get experience. Since there are a lot of difference between campus and working environment, faculty can experience totally different condition which can give advice and inspiration to them. For example, the teacher who teaches MBA at university or college may summarize the most effective way of profiting and managing after he/she join in the practical work of a company. Through this way, the faculty not only can get a break of research but also have some really valuable content to teach their students.（这句话和上面一段的重复了）

However, even faculty can benefit a lot from working outside, it does not necessary indicate that all faculty should do the same thing, especially considering below conditions.（没有below condition 这个表述啦
可以变成 listed as following） First, there are many disciplines which not have relevant work outside the academic world. For instance, it is difficult to find a job for a philosopher apart from the university and college. Secondly, the cost of practice is extremely high in some regions. （这个词要换成field）It is hard to imagine NASA will arrange a space travel for a teacher who teaches cosmos in university. Thirdly, working outside the academic world will take a lot faculty's time and energy which spent (语法问题)on learning how to express will have better effect. Thus, when university and college （大学不能决定东西啊 改成被动比较好）decide which faculty should be required to work outside campus, they should considering special condition of their faculty’s discipline.

In conclusion, admittedly, working outside the academic world have（has） positive influence to(on) improve teaching quality for faculty at university and college level, and practice(动名词) out of campus will bring useful information and inspiration to faculty. Nevertheless, the leaders of university or college should consider the cost and necessity when it comes to certain disciplines.

结构比较清楚，但是语言有点问题，找点同义替换会好些吧
还有连词的运用还应该更有逻辑性
文章二三段思路不是很清楚
有点绕来绕去
中文提纲比较清楚
如果文字表达能够与中文提纲更契合点会好些

315556264UID: 2726000

3# tutuhedou
小宁吔的修改很给力，虚心接受了~~~
我感觉很不会用连词，不知道怎么办~~