第一次Argument1，求指教~谢谢

aloner001UID: 2935554

TOPIC: ARGUMENT1 - The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.
"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."

    In this argument, the vice president of Nature's Way recommends that a new store, which selling health food and health related products should be built in Plainsville for there have a lot of residents who are highly care about leading healthy lives. To support this assertion the author cites three facts: sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs in Plainsville; A health club there has more members than ever; a new generation of customers who are asked to join a program called "fitness for life". However, the author's assertion relies on a series of unsubstantiated assumptions which rend it unconvincing as it stands.
    First of all, only by previous experience that stores build in areas where residents are highly concerns about the quality of life cannot well support the author's conclusion that their next new store should be built in Plainville. The author fails to take into account other possible factors such as the population and consumption level of this area, competitors and the eating habits of the local people. Lacking such evidence the author simply cannot convince me that a new store build in Plainsville will be profitable as well as other similar stores.
    In the second place, although the sales of sport equipment are at all-time highs and there is an increasing number of members of health club, it do not mean that merchants and health club are profitable now. Maybe it because running shoes and exercise clothes are all on sales, so the sales achieved the higher than ever, but the merchants are benefit a bit. And the same to health club, why it suddenly have so many members? Perhaps in order to appeal more residents to attend in weight training and aerobics classes, they might have given residents a high discount, but the profit do not gain with the increase of their members. It is entirely possible that without the discount the sales and members will drop into the normal level soon.
    Finally, the vice president believes that Plainsville' schoolchildren who are required to join the "fitness for life' program will automatically become Nature's Way's customers. However, this is not necessary the case. Perhaps there already have several similar companies in Plainsville, is Nature Way's products' price lower than these competitors? Is the quality of its products better than other companies? These problems should be solved before the vice president decided to build a new store in Plainsville.
    In conclusion, the editorial is unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen the argument, the editorial's author must provide evidence that Plainsville's residents will be interested in Nature's Way's health food and health related products and a large number of them are willing to buy these products. In order to better evaluate the argument, we would need more information about why the sales of running shoes and exercise clothes and members of health club increasing so fast as well as more information about whether there exist competitors or not and what their advantages compare to others.

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."

logic fallacy：喜欢运动=喜欢吃运动食品
evidence:  1. 以前的经验       2.运动服销售火爆      3.健身中心火爆，尤其是减肥和有氧运动      4. 学生被要求参加"fitness for life"
这道题目结构很清晰，提纲一列，问题基本上文章就清楚了....剩下的就是如何阐述

In this argument, the vice president of Nature's Way recommends that a new store, which selling health food and health related products should be built in Plainsville for there have a lot of residents who are highly care about leading healthy lives. To support this assertion the author cites three facts: sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs in Plainsville; A health club there has more members than ever; a new generation of customers who are asked to join a program called "fitness for life". However, the author's assertion relies on a series of unsubstantiated assumptions which rend it unconvincing as it stands.
First of all, only by previous experience that stores build in areas where residents are highly concerns about the quality of life cannot well support the author's conclusion that their next new store should be built in Plainville. The author fails to take into account other possible factors such as the population and consumption level of this area, competitors and the eating habits of the local people. Lacking such evidence the author simply cannot convince me that a new store build in Plainsville will be profitable as well as other similar stores.第一句找准了，但是阐述上却偏了，阐述到了相对不重要的点上，body第一段个人深受紫陌sama的影响，讲求要一针见血，直击核心。那么就要在逻辑层面上打破作者的结构。根据从前经历居民关注健康生活就会让商店有利可图。但在P会获得同样的效果吗？speaker的观点是会！因为P的居民很喜欢健身。健身-->健康-->买东西？

In the second place, although the sales of sport equipment are at all-time highs and there is an increasing number of members of health club, it do not mean that merchants and health club are profitable now. Maybe it because running shoes and exercise clothes are all on sales, so the sales achieved the higher than ever, but the merchants are benefit a bit. And the same to health club, why it suddenly have so many members? Perhaps in order to appeal more residents to attend in weight training and aerobics classes, they might have given residents a high discount, but the profit do not gain with the increase of their members. It is entirely possible that without the discount the sales and members will drop into the normal level soon.买运动装备=健身？我们都买过运动服装吧？是为了健身吗？俱乐部问题，文中也说了俱乐部大部分是减肥和有氧运动。这不一定是为了健康吧？减肥可能因为太肥了，有氧是为了保持身材。都可能和健康无关。就算有关系，这两个项目都要控制饮食的，那么还会去买吃的吗？

Finally, the vice president believes that Plainsville' schoolchildren who are required to join the "fitness for life' program will automatically become Nature's Way's customers. However, this is not necessary the case. Perhaps there already have several similar companies in Plainsville, is Nature Way's products' price lower than these competitors? Is the quality of its products better than other companies? These problems should be solved before the vice president decided to build a new store in Plainsville.学生这个点有个很重要的因素是：他们是自愿的吗？they are required to join...就像现在大学里的“阳光长跑”....这个是我们为了健康自愿参加的吗？显然是被逼的，那么学生是潜在客户这个论断不就值得怀疑了么？

In conclusion, the editorial is unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen the argument, the editorial's author must provide evidence that Plainsville's residents will be interested in Nature's Way's health food and health related products and a large number of them are willing to buy these products. In order to better evaluate the argument, we would need more information about why the sales of running shoes and exercise clothes and members of health club increasing so fast as well as more information about whether there exist competitors or not and what their advantages compare to others.



这个题目乍看之下是个商业问题，但究其逻辑结构，个人更偏向其是个关于健康方面的论述。
总体来看你的文章攻击重点都能够找出，但是阐述上还比较欠缺，有点流于表面，没有往深层次去看。这也就是分析上的问题了，argument首要的就是analysis，一个题目不要拿到了就写，可以先找出整个文章中的逻辑顺序，关键词之类的，自己组合下，就会有一个清晰的认识了。
呵呵，我也还没考呢...还在练习阶段

aloner001UID: 2935554

2# 咖啡盐
呵呵，谢谢你的建议与指导，确实有很多地方自己没有想到，也没有深入的去考虑问题。嗯~继续加油！

aloner001UID: 2935554

2# 咖啡盐
还是要先锻炼好思维，找出问题，分析问题，在剖析问题。第一篇太急了~想先成文~继续加油！
祝你能考出好成绩~:)