argument76一篇，希望大家拍拍！附加中文提纲，给点建议就行!

蜥蜴也飞UID: 2894889

今天终于胆敢上传一个成品了。。。没准是残次品。。希望大家踊跃拍拍。。。。感谢大家为我花费的时间。。。。有拍必回！感激不尽！
TOPIC: ARGUMENT76 - The following appeared as part of an article in a health and beauty magazine.

"A group of volunteers participated in a study of consumer responses to the new Luxess face cream. Every morning for a month, they washed their faces with mild soap and then applied Luxess. At the end of that month, most volunteers reported a marked improvement in the way their skin looked and felt. Thus it appears that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin."
1. 调查人数不确定没有代表性 2 即便数字确定调查人群没有包括所有肤质，不能下结论 3 没有排除香皂的作用 4  没有提到新产品的副作用
The argument mainly introduce a new product names Luxess face cream. In the study, the group of volunteers’ skin feel improved after using the product. The arguer claims that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin. Although the passage seems logical and reasonable at first glance, it has some fatal flaws.
In the first place, the author fails to stress the number of the volunteers. Since he claims “a group of volunteers” doesn’t means the amount is sufficient to be trust, let alone the result and the conclusion. How about only 3 people attended the survey? The result is of course not scientific. Unless the surveyors sampled a sufficient number of the volunteers across the entire spectrum, the result can be reliable and undoubted.
In the second place, even if the number of the volunteers is enough to be studied, how about the skin conditions of them? Do they include all kinds of the skin of the people? This is another factor the author ignored. If the people with dry skin feel comfortable after using the product, what about the people with oily skin? So the author’s state is incomplete. Only providing the condition of the volunteers’ skin can we draw the conclusion that they can represent all the people with various kinds of skin conditions.
In the third place, even if number of the volunteers is sufficient and they can represent all the people with various kinds of skin conditions, the survey still fails to ensure that their improvement of skin is due to the new product, Luxess face cream. Because the study wrote that they use the cream after using the mild soap. We may have these assumptions: Whether their improvement is the result of the soap or the cream? Or perhaps the mix of them can benefit their face? Even we have the doubt that whether these volunteers try other product at the same time? If the author exclude these possible reasons can we safely thanks to the new cream because of the improvement.
At last but not least important, even if all the three flaws above can be solved, we still can’t get the conclusion that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin. In spite of the benefit it brings to volunteers, we should not ignore its side effect or even negative effect. The author told nothing about them. The author would better supply the side effect or the negative effect to us and prove the benefit is more than harmfulness. Then the conclusion can be reliable.

To sum up, the arguer’s argument mentioned above is not provide enough evidence and proof to draw the conclusion. I t is just sound reasonable. In order to correct the statement, the arguer should reason more convincingly, cite some evidence that is more persuasive, and take every possible consideration into account.


感激不尽！！！！

蜥蜴也飞UID: 2894889

抢占沙发。。。呵呵

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

赞小西~~~嗯，我来斗胆一拍~

蜥蜴也飞UID: 2894889

3# 咖啡盐
多谢！！！！咖啡最给力了！

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

TOPIC: ARGUMENT76 - The following appeared as part of an article in a health and beauty magazine.

"A group of volunteers participated in a study of consumer responses to the new Luxess face cream. Every morning for a month, they washed their faces with mild soap and then applied Luxess. At the end of that month, most volunteers reported a marked improvement in the way their skin looked and felt. Thus it appears that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin."
1. 调查人数不确定没有代表性 2 即便数字确定调查人群没有包括所有肤质，不能下结论 3 没有排除香皂的作用 4  没有提到新产品的副作用

Logic fallacy: the result of skin improvement is due to Luxess.

The argument mainly introduce a new product names Luxess face cream. In the study, the group of volunteers’ skin feel improved after using the product. The arguer claims that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin. Although the passage seems logical and reasonable at first glance, it has some fatal flaws.

In the first place, the author fails to stress the number of the volunteers. Since he claims “a group of volunteers” doesn’t means the amount is sufficient to be trust, let alone the result and the conclusion. How about only 3 people attended the survey? The result is of course not scientific. Unless the surveyors sampled a sufficient number of the volunteers across the entire spectrum, the result can be reliable and undoubted.实验人数这个并不是主要错误，最好不要用在body第一段，我觉得论述还是讲求一针见血比较来得有效果吧？那么就因该从逻辑层面上来进行攻击，即：L和改善肤质的关系上，这个在文中的交代是很模糊的吧？

In the second place, even if the number of the volunteers is enough to be studied, how about the skin conditions of them? Do they include all kinds of the skin of the people? This is another factor the author ignored. If the people with dry skin feel comfortable after using the product, what about the people with oily skin? So the author’s state is incomplete. Only providing the condition of the volunteers’ skin can we draw the conclusion that they can represent all the people with various kinds of skin conditions.


In the third place, even if number of the volunteers is sufficient and they can represent all the people with various kinds of skin conditions, the survey still fails to ensure that their improvement of skin is due to the new product, Luxess face cream. Because the study wrote that they use the cream after using the mild soap. We may have these assumptions: Whether their improvement is the result of the soap or the cream? Or perhaps the mix of them can benefit their face? Even we have the doubt that whether these volunteers try other product at the same time? If the author exclude these possible reasons can we safely thanks to the new cream because of the improvement.这个可以作为body第一段去。而且实验环境和实验效果我觉得可以分开论证。作为实验结果的L可以说没有对比，无法确定其效果，还有就是实验的环境，怎么的环境下参与人进行的试验。


At last but not least important, even if all the three flaws above can be solved, we still can’t get the conclusion that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin. In spite of the benefit it brings to volunteers, we should not ignore its side effect or even negative effect. The author told nothing about them. The author would better supply the side effect or the negative effect to us and prove the benefit is more than harmfulness. Then the conclusion can be reliable.

To sum up, the arguer’s argument mentioned above is not provide enough evidence and proof to draw the conclusion. I t is just sound reasonable. In order to correct the statement, the arguer should reason more convincingly, cite some evidence that is more persuasive, and take every possible consideration into account.

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

呃...这个编辑器又出问题了，你凑活看吧

布丁的爱恋UID: 2769395

嘿嘿~~给自己攒点人品~~我三天后就考试啦~

"A group of volunteers participated in a study of consumer responses to the new Luxess face cream. Every morning for a month, they washed their faces with mild soap and then applied Luxess. At the end of that month, most volunteers reported a marked improvement in the way their skin looked and felt. Thus it appears that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin."
1. 调查人数不确定没有代表性 2 即便数字确定调查人群没有包括所有肤质，不能下结论 3 没有排除香皂的作用 4  没有提到新产品的副作用
The argument mainly introduce a new product names[d] Luxess face cream. In the study, the group of volunteers’ skin feel improved after using the product. 这里可以加个therefore,hence啥的，表示因果关系 The arguer claims that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin. Although the passage seems logical and reasonable at first glance, it has some fatal flaws.

In the first place, the author fails to stress the number of the volunteers. Since he claims “a group of volunteers” doesn’t means the amount is sufficient to be trust, let alone the result and the conclusion. How about only 3 people attended the survey?这个例子是不是额。。太过于极端，三个人。。不至于吧。。我也同意LS的，批判调查确实可以放在后面，毕竟不是主要错误 The result is of course not scientific. Unless the surveyors sampled a sufficient number of the volunteers across the entire spectrum, the result can be reliable and undoubted. 而且我感觉这一段太单薄了，只有几句话。。其实我感觉这段可以跟下一段合并，就说是志愿者不具有代表性，表现在数量上，皮肤质量上，志愿者年龄上blabla~这样可能会更好写~个人建议~(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……

In the second place, even if the number of the volunteers is enough to be studied, how about the skin conditions of them? Do they include all kinds of the skin of the people? This is another factor the author ignored. If the people with dry skin feel comfortable after using the product, what about the people with oily skin? So the author’s state is incomplete. Only providing the condition of the volunteers’ skin can we draw the conclusion that they can represent all the people with various kinds of skin conditions.

In the third place, even if number of the volunteers is sufficient and they can represent all the people with various kinds of skin conditions, the survey still fails to ensure that their improvement of skin is due to the new product, Luxess face cream. Because the study wrote that they use the cream after using the mild soap. We may have these assumptions: Whether their improvement is the result of the soap or the cream? Or perhaps the mix of them can benefit their face? Even we have the doubt that whether these volunteers try other product at the same time? 其实没必要用问号的，三个都用句号或者分号也成If the author exclude these possible reasons can we safely thanks to thanks to 不是介词短语么，可以这么用？ the new cream because of the improvement.这段不错~

At last but not least important, even if all the three flaws above can be solved, we still can’t get the conclusion that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin. In spite of the benefit it brings to volunteers, we should not ignore its side effect or even negative effect. The author told nothing about them. The author would better supply the side effect or the negative effect to us and prove the benefit is more than harmfulness. Then the conclusion can be reliable.

To sum up, the arguer’s argument mentioned above is not provide enough evidence and proof to draw the conclusion. I t is just sound reasonable. In order to correct the statement, the arguer should reason more convincingly, cite some evidence that is more persuasive, and take every possible consideration into account.

以上纯属一家之言。。欢迎讨论~

蜥蜴也飞UID: 2894889

5# 咖啡盐
哦哦 我看了意思是人数不用在最前分析是吗 那么还可以用让步式攻击吗

蜥蜴也飞UID: 2894889

7# 布丁的爱恋
啊哈 看了看了 我也觉得前两点可以放做一个段落。。。多谢多谢 受益匪浅啊。。。等待你的经验贴 呵呵 加油哦

mq891116UID: 2859635

看了下蜥蜴的大作，也来冒充内行发点想法：
1. 首先从分析题目入手：
   结论:Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin
     唯一的支持论据是：为期一个月的志愿者调查
   分析: 这篇文章逻辑很简单，就是 调查->结论。那么关键就是从
        (1)调查到结论的推理
        (2)调查本身
        这两个大方面来攻击。具体就是（1）在承认调查可靠的情况下，调查能不能很好的推到结论？（2）调查本身的不可靠
        再推敲一下似乎逻辑方面没有很明显的漏洞，则把眼光放在调查本身上。（咖啡说的因果问题在很大程度上因为调查本身还有了不唯一的可变因素，所以我草率得认为其实也是调查本身的设计问题。）我从中发现的主要问题按重要排序是
a.因为mild soap的存在，不能证明是不是Luxess的原因；
b.没有说明Luxess的副作用。（个人认为这个点应该在第二重要位置）
c.没有设置对照组，缺少横向对比，也没有客观数据，从而不能客观评价结果（不能简单的用一组人使用前后的自我report来说明问题）
d.调查太过简单，没有考虑不同人群不同环境。
e.样本空间不明；为期一个月也没有说服力。

2. 看了下蜥蜴的文章，稍稍需要调整下攻击顺序。也可以参考下我说的几点拙见。
   另外，貌似第二段最后应该是unreliable and doubted。

谢谢

布丁的爱恋UID: 2769395

7# 布丁的爱恋  
啊哈 看了看了 我也觉得前两点可以放做一个段落。。。多谢多谢 受益匪浅啊。。。等待你的经验贴 呵呵 加油哦
蜥蜴也飞 发表于 2011-2-13 23:52

我自己都是个糊。。还经验贴呢。。别祸害人间就好了。。

蜥蜴也飞UID: 2894889

10# mq891116
啊 原来如此。。。。我真不相信你是新手 这么厉害。。。了解了解。。我换一些顺序。。我也觉得有点奇怪。。。呵呵

蜥蜴也飞UID: 2894889

11# 布丁的爱恋
呵呵 怎么会呢 嘻嘻

mq891116UID: 2859635

12# 蜥蜴也飞
其实真的是新手~寒假开始接触的~
看了《argu就该这样写》觉得那种逻辑线的分析方法很好，就东施效颦了下~
大家一起加油！

蜥蜴也飞UID: 2894889

14# mq891116
呵呵 不错不错。。。我就觉得每次把一些理由凑在一起很生硬 原来是这样分析。。。什么时候考啊