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发表于 2011-3-9 02:34:10 |显示全部楼层
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, |% e: @# X! O- `8 K6 PDo you agree or disagreewith the following statement? Advertising is the main cause of unhealthy eatinghabits
/Nowadays, one problem that many parentsworried most is the healthy of their kids, because those young children indulgein junk food and ignore the importance of health diet. For the food child loveto eat are extensively advertised, thus many people conclude that it is theadvertising that result in the unhealthy eating habits. However, as far as I amconcerned, unhealthy eating habit is cause by many factors and the fundamentalreason is the instinct our ancients evolved from evolutionary history.: c- y2 V3 W4 [* X% o

* ]4 h2 e. a* X0 g# p2 ]) J- Y7 fTo begin with, I'd like to point out that advertising can not explain all the unhealthy eating habits. One obvious fact is not all children who expose to advertising form junk food; this indicates that commercial alone can determine the eating habits. 这句话 不是很理解..跟下面一句有联系吗?Psychological studieshave shown that many other factors such as loneliness, lacking social supportor insufficient education and guidance together decide the probability of theformation of unhealthy eating habit. A well educated kid never eat unhealthilyis a good example of this point.
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What more, even we assume that advertisingdo tempt children to eat those food. However, we still can not identify it asthe main reason. As I mentioned above, there are many other factors alsoinvolved in. So the relationship between advertising and unhealthy eatinghabits is superficial but never reveals the real reason. Thus, thoughadvertising and unhealthy eating appears together, we can not make cause-effectinterference based on concurrence, there could be other reasons cause both ofthem, such as technology advancement make it easy to advertise and eat to makejunk food.
- Third, under all these factors , the innatepreference for high fat food we involved from evolutionary history is the mostpowerful drive. The most important feature of unhealthy eating is theunbalanced intake of fat and other nutrients such as vegetables. This istotally reasonable under the circumstance where fat is rare and vegetable issufficient. That’s the environment our ancients lived in. Today, our environmentchanged, but our preference for food change for more slowly. In this case, weare vulnerable to the high fat food and advertising.
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In conclusion, I don't think advertising isthe main cause of unhealthy eating habit, instead I believe the lag between thechange of our preference and our environment is the underlying mechanism
首先 不得不说的是 作者作文 能补个空格吗..好多 都忘了打空格了  在者 感觉 每段 都说的不是很清楚。。也许你说的观点 我没看懂... 感觉有点乱 说的 上句和下句 没有明显的转折..
结尾 好象点题点的也很模糊   说的错误的 请谅解...

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发表于 2011-3-9 12:16:11 |显示全部楼层
31# july07 空格问题可能粘贴时产生的,呵呵

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发表于 2011-3-9 12:22:15 |显示全部楼层
3.9号两篇 独立 3.9 independet writing(by hcp4715).doc (27.5 KB, 下载次数: 3) +综合 3.9 TPO16 integrated writing(by hcp4715).doc (26.5 KB, 下载次数: 1) 状态仍然不佳,请大家拍砖

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发表于 2011-3-10 09:25:51 |显示全部楼层
请查收 review by Go2011_tpo16.doc (28 KB, 下载次数: 4)

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发表于 2011-3-10 10:27:45 |显示全部楼层
已修改,请查收

3.9 independet writing(by hcp4715)-revised by perceptive558.doc

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发表于 2011-3-10 11:31:29 |显示全部楼层
review by Go2011(by hcp4715).doc (30 KB, 下载次数: 2)

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发表于 2011-3-11 17:21:28 |显示全部楼层
3.11号 独立 2011-03-11 independent writing.doc (28 KB, 下载次数: 7) + 综合 2011-03-11 integrated writing TPO18 .doc (27 KB, 下载次数: 5)

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发表于 2011-3-11 23:59:47 |显示全部楼层
3.11综合~改好

2011-03-11 integrated writing TPO18 bysun3may.doc

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发表于 2011-3-12 10:43:19 |显示全部楼层
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As the development of economy, the ability to manage money playplays a crucial role in our family and our own life. Therefore people who wish their children could have a better financial state wondering about teach children how to manage money at young age.这句有点看不懂 As far as I am concerned, I can't agree with this statement anymore.

First of all, the habits of young child have a profound influence on their behavior when they are adult我觉得when they get older…. Numerous studies have shown that the early experience strongly affect, even determine, the behavior pattern学习了 of their adult life. Thus we should learn the right way to deal with out financial issue and form a good habit when we were young. In this case we could adapt to the increasing complicated financial problems.

Second, the bad habits, such as impulsive shopping, are extreme difficult to change once are formed. Thus it is very important for parent to direct children from the bad way of consuming, otherwise this kind of behavior will prevent children learn how to manage money. I would take my friend Tom as an example. When we were young and have no idea about saving money and rational shopping, we almost wanted to buy everything that we saw. As a result he used out我觉得是use up money very quickly. After that he would call home and ask more money, his parent didn’t realize it was a problem and indulged him. Certainly, he never has the chance to know how to consume rationally. Now he always complain to me that he run out of money because he bought a lot of things that turned out to be useless.

Third, managemanaging money is not so easy, it is easier to begin when we do not have so much.语法
加个连接词 As we have more and more choices and deal with more and more financial issues, the money management becomes a very complicated skill. If we do not start from the easiest thing such as make the sheet about our incomes and spending, we would be overwhelmed when we face all these problems at the beginning. Thus it is the perfect period to learn how to manage money at a young age because at that time we didn't have much to manage. As we grow up, our ability to manage money increase as the money we dealdealed with increase gradually.

Given the importance of financial skills, we should take the advantage of young age of children and let them learn how to manage money whenever they could understand the concept of money.

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发表于 2011-3-12 14:37:35 |显示全部楼层
3.12 两篇
今天模拟了一下,做了TPO19,外加TPO9 的阅读作为加试内容,真是体力活啊!!
所以写作均为TPO19内容,麻烦修改的同学了
独立 2011-03-12 Independent writing (from TPO19 by hcp4715) .doc (28.5 KB, 下载次数: 3)
综合 2011-03-12 TPO19 integrated writing (by hcp4715) .doc (26.5 KB, 下载次数: 5)

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发表于 2011-3-12 20:20:37 |显示全部楼层
37# hcp4715

白天出去了,改的晚了,不好意思

2011-03-11 independent writing.doc

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发表于 2011-3-13 11:09:45 |显示全部楼层
review by Go2011(from TPO19 by hcp4715) .doc (30.5 KB, 下载次数: 2)

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发表于 2011-3-13 16:02:44 |显示全部楼层
42# Go2011Go 你说不理解的那句我想表达的意思是:
历史是建构起来的因此是充满了歪曲和想像成分的(history is constructed and thus full of distortionsand inventions)
不知道我想表达的和我表达的是不是同一个意思

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发表于 2011-3-13 18:35:48 |显示全部楼层
3.12 revised

2011-03-12 Independent writing (from TPO19 by hcp4715) .doc

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长跑

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发表于 2011-3-14 11:47:15 |显示全部楼层
3.14号 独立: 2011-03-14 independent by hcp4715.doc (28 KB, 下载次数: 2)
PS:开始列大纲的时候居然看错了题目,以为是shopping abroad or in their own country.....后来开始写的时候才发现是made in their own country....所以杯具了。。

综合: 2011-03-14 TPO1 integrated by hcp4715.doc (27.5 KB, 下载次数: 1)

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