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[求助] 我的作文,谢谢大家的修改 [复制链接]

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发表于 2011-3-5 20:09:21 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 perceptive558 于 2011-3-7 23:33 编辑

30min


To be right is better than to be faster

To work quickly and risk making mistakes or to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct is truly a controversy. Both sides have their argument. After comparison in my mind, I choose to work slowly to make sure every thing is correct. The main reasons are as follows.

The first reason I think to work slowly and make sure everything come out correctly is that some mistakes can be lethal for a company even for lives. Take drivers for example. Two choices: first, you drive quickly to the destination, risking an accident; secondly, you drive as normal to make sure safety. I think no one would choose the first one. An accident does not only mean you may take more time to take care the issues, if some people dies in the accident, it is unable to rescue. Comparing to even one hour later to the destination, it is lethal and unable to rescue to have an accident.

Secondly, sometimes to do rightly is more valuable than to do quickly. Imagine you are a leader of an international company, and a significant decision should be make soon. Would you choose to do it quickly without carefully consideration or with every aspect of the big decision considered then make a wiser decision? There are considerable events like this, and at this time, differences of the leader or the decision makers show up. Some may cover his mistakes by saying that I had to decide quickly and it is inevitable to have some risk to make mistakes. While the wiser would say that the right decision is a better decision. So, sometimes, to do rightly is more valuable.

With the reasons listed above, it is not difficult to reach the conclusion that to do things slowly but make sure everything come out right is more valuable in daily life. Considering that some mistakes are unable to rescue and right is always a better choice, I am sure you will do things with more consideration and carefulness other than taking the risks to do it quickly.
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发表于 2011-3-6 10:19:23 |只看该作者
To be right is better than to be faster
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To work quickly and risk making mistakes or to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct is truly a controversy. Both sides have their argument (benefits? disadvantages? ). After comparison in my mind, I choose to work slowly to make sure every thing is correct. The main reasons are as follows.
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The first reason I think to work slowly and make sure everything come out correctly is that some mistakes can be lethal for a company even for lives. Take drivers for (as an) example. Two choices: first, you drive quickly to the destination, risking an accident; secondly, you drive as normal to make sure safety. I think no one would choose the first one. An accident does not only mean you may take more time to take care the issues, if some people dies in the accident, it is unable to rescue. Comparing to even one hour later to the destination, it is lethal and unable to rescue to have an accident.
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Secondly, sometimes to do rightly is more valuable than to do quickly. Imagine you are a leader of an international company, and a significant decision should be make soon. Would you choose to do it quickly without carefully (careful) consideration or with every aspect of the big decision considered then make a wiser decision? There are considerable events like this, and at this time, differences of the leader or the decision makers show up. Some may cover his mistakes by saying that I had to decide quickly and it is inevitable to have some risk to make mistakes. While the wiser would say that the right decision is a better decision. So, sometimes, to do rightly is more valuable.
我觉得这段的观点我不太明白,后边的例子也不太明白,valuable太抽象了,后边的例子也没有让它具体化,不知道你想说什么。
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With the reasons listed above, it is not difficult to reach the conclusion that to do things slowly but make sure everything come out right is more valuable in daily life. Considering that some mistakes are unable to rescue and right is always a better choice, I am sure you will do things with more consideration and carefulness other than taking the risks to do it quickly.

语言还是比较流畅的,结果也不错,不过我觉得这种题目折中比较好写。还有,文章中尽量少用you,有点offensive。继续加油!!

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板凳
发表于 2011-3-6 19:06:28 |只看该作者
To be right is better than to be faster
To work quickly and risk making mistakes or to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct is truly a controversy. Both sides have their argument. After comparison in my mind, I choose to work slowly to make sure every thing is correct. The main reasons are as follows.

The first reason I think to work slowly and make sure everything come out correctly is that some mistakes can be lethal for a company even for lives. Take drivers for example. Two choices: first, you drive quickly to the destination, risking an accident; secondly, you drive as(多余) normal to make sure safety. I think no one would choose the first one. An accident does not only mean you may take more time to take care the issues(意思有点没表达明白), if some people dies in the accident, it is unable to rescue. Comparing to even one hour later to the destination, it is lethal and unable to rescue(相同的意思吧) to have an accident.9 _# ~9 z6 e6 a" W' L' p
  x+ a) x0 z( H, e. N1 }1 ]
Secondly, sometimes to do rightly is more valuable than to do quickly. Imagine you are a leader of an international company, and a significant decision should be make soon. Would you choose to do it quickly without carefully consideration or with every aspect of the big decision considered then make a wiser decision? There are considerable events like this, and at this time, (不明白)differences of the leader or the decision makers show up. Some may cover his mistakes by saying that I had to decide quickly and it is inevitable to have some risk to make mistakes. While the wiser would say that the right decision is a better decision. So, sometimes, to do rightly is more valuable.
( x# g- Z$ F% V6 W 2 Y( g$ q2 G7 _
With the reasons listed above, it is not difficult to reach the conclusion that to do things slowly but make sure everything come out right is more valuable in daily life. Considering that some mistakes are unable to rescue and right(correction) is always a better choice, I am sure you will do things with more consideration and carefulness other than taking the risks to do it quickly.
语言感觉还是有点不地道,有些地方不是很连贯,多练练就会有改善,一起加油~

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地板
发表于 2011-3-7 23:29:18 |只看该作者
谢谢你,我今天才搞明白怎么分的组,不好意思,谢谢大家的修改

还有,我们是一个组,我怎么不能下载你的作文帮你修改。。。

是不是水平太低的原因???

2# beangt xie

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发表于 2011-3-7 23:31:03 |只看该作者
谢谢你,我写的时候也感觉很不好,谢谢你的意见


3# liu9046114

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发表于 2011-3-7 23:32:00 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 perceptive558 于 2011-3-7 23:34 编辑

3.7 独立  回来晚了不好意思



Advertisements do not have to buy the bill for unhealthy eating habit

Nowadays, advertisements almost cover every part of the world, ranging from television to newspaper, from poster to internet. No one can say definitely that I am hardly influenced by advertisements. However, whether advertisements should buy the bill for people's unhealthy eating habit? In my point of view, unhealthy eating habit may have some more important reasons rather than advertisement.

    The first cause to one's unhealthy eating habit must be one's irregular life. If one is living a total disorder life, like getting up in the moon, and stay up to the midnight, how can he have a health eating habit when he does not have a good habit of life at all? So, if one have a regular life cycle, getting up, going to bed and having meals regularly, advertisement can hardly lead him in to an unhealthy eating habit.
   
    The second main reason for the formation of one's unhealthy eating habits maybe the skills to manage one's time. Since we living in a rapidly developing society, time is so valuable that some even miss the time for meal. It is even normal in my laboratory. Since so much work and tremendous experiments to do, we can hardly eat on time. At this time, only those with good time management skill can form a good eating habit.
   
    Last but not least, self-discipline play an important role in habit forming. Advertisement only part of every one's daily life, even they fill up every point of vision. If one has a good self-discipline, they can not invade you successfully. There are a lot of people like this, and self-discipline is a prerequisite character to have some accomplishments in the world. Almost all that have great contributions to the world have a great control of themselves in every aspects of their lives, no matter eating habit.
   
    So, advertisements may have some influences on people, but an unhealthy eating habit is formed by the reason list above rather that advertisements.

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发表于 2011-3-8 13:53:30 |只看该作者
3.7 独立修改

3.7-改by小c.doc

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发表于 2011-3-8 16:31:48 |只看该作者
7# candis712 谢谢你,改的特别好~~~

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发表于 2011-3-8 16:40:31 |只看该作者
To win with a team

Teamwork is of significant importance nowadays to meet the requirements of the rapidly developing society. Teams are always formed by
people from different majors and distinctive backgrounds and experiences. The combinations of all kinds of knowledge and experiences in the team make the team more powerful and efficient in completing tasks and competing with others. Some argue that one cannot succeed without the acceptance of other's criticisms in the team. I cannot agree with this perspective more. The main reasons are as follows.

First of all, criticisms and suggestions from others in the teams can make one more likely to succeed. One’s knowledge and experience is limited no matter how wise he is, and it is unavoidable for one to make mistakes and wrong decisions. By taking suggestions and criticisms from others in the team we can avoid the wrong decisions. Take myself for example. I am working in a design team for complex mach-electrical system. Through criticisms and suggestions everyone in the team perfect his own part to make the design a more efficient and successful one. Both us and the system benefit from the criticisms and suggestions.

Secondly, accepting others’ suggestions and criticisms is of crucial to the cooperation in a team. An essential characteristic of a successful team is cooperation, and the most important part of cooperation is to discuss involved opinions, make decisions, allocate work to every in the team. It is common for everyone in the team to criticize others and accept other's criticisms, only by doing this can the team make wisdom decision and improve the competition of the team. Since no one is perfect, we all experience some kinds of mistakes and wrong decisions and it is the advantage of a team since the others in the team can correct us and give us good suggestions or criticisms. Accepting criticisms not only make an excellent team, but also make a successful person.

Last but not least, it can despair a team's teamwork spirit if one doesn't take other's criticisms. If some one insists on his opinion and do not compromise with others in the team, he definitely will break the unity of the team and low the other's enthusiasm to make the team better. With some one in the team does not obey the decision of the team, it difficulty to conduct the daily work of the team.

So, if some one in the team doesn’t accepting criticisms, he can hardly succeed, and he will be harmful for the whole team.

我写了好久,感觉写的很吃力。用汉语的想法想问题,感觉翻译不地道。用英语想,能想到的东西又太少。看大家写的真好,而且进步真快!

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发表于 2011-3-9 08:49:32 |只看该作者
Go2011review.doc (30.5 KB, 下载次数: 4)

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发表于 2011-3-9 09:04:16 |只看该作者
我传上来了么~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~··?????????????

To win with a team.doc

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发表于 2011-3-9 12:51:32 |只看该作者
3.7独立修改

3.7独立revised by seven_zh.doc

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发表于 2011-3-9 23:48:47 |只看该作者
3.9 独立

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?  Teacher should or not talking their social or political views to student in the class.

Whether teachers should talk their social or political views to student in the class truly arouse great controversy. Some deem that by doing this they can help students know more about the society and politics. However, from my own perspective, it is wiser for the teachers not to express their social or political views to the students in the class.

The time of the class is short and precious. It is used for the teachers to impart their knowledge and experiences to the students other than talking their social or political views to students. Students go to school with the purpose of gaining knowledge by taking classes, seminars and interactions with the teachers and professors, so that they can equip themselves with prerequisite knowledge and exceptional abilities for their future career. So the primary duty of teachers is to concentrate on lectures and useful experience for the students other than their social or political opinions.

Secondly, some views of teachers may have adverse influences on students. The school time is significant for students, because it not only the time for them to gain knowledge and experience, but also crucial for the formation of their own views about the world. Teacher’s perspective of the society and politics only comes from his point of view, which maybe objective, unjust or even offensive in the world. If students don’t have the ability to examine it and accept it readily just because of the favor of the teacher, it will influent students heavily and adversely. So teachers should provide the true vision of the society and politics and let the students to develop their own perspectives.

In sum, teachers should not talk about their own social or political view to the students in the class because the precious time of the class and adverse influence they may have on the students.

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发表于 2011-3-9 23:50:08 |只看该作者
你的文章我修改好了,在实验室,明天我过去传上来。
今天晚上不舒服,就提前回来了。不好意思

11# 葵葵酱

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发表于 2011-3-10 09:32:21 |只看该作者
谢谢你的修改!!!很中肯 12# sEven_zh

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RE: 我的作文,谢谢大家的修改 [修改]

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我的作文,谢谢大家的修改
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1238596-1-1.html
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