俺的作文作业帖~~~求批改

tulipzongUID：2803521

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try different job before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term
Nowadays people have a diversity of choices of jobs for there is no job only for privileged class. But it may also cause problem when people are facing numerous choices. Which job should I chose? Which job is suitable for me? Should we try some job different before we find our right place? I think it depends on what kind of profession you are choosing. If you study nature science like physics, you should not change your job in the long term. On the other hand, if your profession is social science like law or finance, trying some other jobs will be really helpful for you to achieve your career goal. What's more, if you are an artist like musician, having experiences of other jobs is necessary for you to express art vividly.
Nature science embraces subjects which are highly specialized. To be a successful scientist, one even has to devote his whole life in his research. It is hard to imagine Einstein set up his career position as a violinist at first, and then transferred to be a successful physician in his during the latter part of his life. No doubt, his experience of musician has nothing to do with his academic achievement in physics.
On the other side, jurist and psychologist who are profession in social science should gain some social experience by seeking for some other jobs. For example, the best way for jurist who is major in economic law to be acquainted with stock market is to do a job in Wall Street for a period. In like manner, psychologist who is major in kidology should take over a job in a welfare centre for children. They can have a in-depth insight into their job in the long term by profiting from the different jobs they did before.
A great artist always has an eventful life. Mark Twain used to be a river pilot in Mississippi. His living experience at the foot of the social ladder gathered firsthand materials for his career as a novel author who concentrate in racial problem. Another instance of excellent is Hemingway. His working experience as a war correspondent brought him intense creative emotion. The examples of artists are too numerous to mention individually.
Some people learned from their diversity working experience. Some people wasted their time by taking a job in other areas. In conclusion, your decision should depend on what kind of your profession is.

Go2011GoUID：3006241

perceptive558UID：3009288

写的真好

tulipzongUID：2803521

3.11 ~~Do you agree with the following statement? In order to be more financially responsible when we are adults, we should learn how to manage money at a young age
Investigation became a significant part of our living in modern society. Stock market, real estate and some other economic market are accessible for us to investigate money. You may earn from what you investigated; certainly, you may lose at the same time. But you must responsible for your investigation behavior. How to instill people to be financial responsible? We should build it from our childhood. There are some reasons below.
Firstly, learning how to manage money at a young age could help us forbid the ugly habit of luxury. Since pocket money in our childhood is so little that we have to use it as economic efficiently as possible. This habit will be useful for us to make our investigation planning when we grow up. I was impressed by one story happened when Benjamin Franklin was seven. On a holiday, being charmed with the sound of a whistle that he had seen by the way, in the hand of another boy, he handed over all his pocket coppers for one. After coming back home, he was laughed by his brothers because he had given four times as much as the whistle was worth. He cried with vexation for he could buy many good things with the rest of the money. However, this was use to him afterwards, for the impression continued on his mind, so that often, when he was tempted to buy something he did not need, he said to himself, “do not give too much for the whistle and saved his money.
What’s more, learning how to manage money when you are a child may have far-reaching effect on your outlook on life. Later in Franklin’s life, he saw many people “gave too much for the whistle”. Such as many people, who are fond of popularity, constantly taking part in political affairs, neglecting their own business, and ruining it by neglect. He found that many people put a false value on things and paid too much on it. In short, this accident taught him “enough is enough”.
At last, learning how to manage money when you are little can spur your interest in business. So far as I know, many successful businessmen share experience of doing business when they are young.
In conclusion, learning how to manage money at a young age has so many benefits that it could help us to be more financial responsible when we grow up.

tulipzongUID：2803521

Do you agree with the following statement? 家长该不该奖励小孩钱当小孩拿到高分
Some people think that giving money to children for awarding their high score is a kind of efficient means to motivate children. However, this way of material rewarding may have bad impact on children in their future life. There are reasons below.
Firstly, if parents always award their children money for encourage them to get high score, their children may be greedy afterwards. Because the higher score, the harder their children must work. Children would not be satisfied with the reward they have got before, as result they would require their parents to increase their reward constantly. Parents have to pay more and more as their children’s learning motivation. In my opinion, it is a bottomless money pit for parents to reward their children for higher score.
What’s more, this behavior may train the children to be an arrogant and cruel materialist. For their learning motivation is money, the children would set up their goal as earning as much money as possible at that time. For people’s experience is crucial for the formation of their characters, they would have strong desire for money when they grow up. I have met a miser who gave up every kind of comfortable living, all the pleasure of doing good to others, all the esteem of his fellow citizens and the joys of friendship, for the sake of gathering and keeping health. I think he is a rather poor man for he only have eyes for money.
At last, children should be responsible for their future by themselves. Parents have no duty to enough their children to work harder by giving them money. This behavior will only dampen Self-reliance Development of children.
In conclusion, parents should not reward their children money for higher score for it has so many disadvantages. Especially, this behavior is harmful for children’s further development in the future.

daisy8936UID：2999019

4# tulipzong

下面是我修改的
3.11 ~~Do you agree with the following statement? In order to be more financially responsible when we are adults, we should learn how to manage money at a young age
Investigation became a significant part of our living in modern society. Stock market, real estate and some other economic market are accessible for us to investigate money. You may earn from what you investigated; certainly, you may lose at the same time. But you must responsible for your investigation behavior. How to instill people to be financial responsible? We should build it from our childhood. There are some reasons below.
Firstly, learning how to manage money at a young age could help us forbid the ugly habit of luxury. Since pocket money in our childhood is so little that we have to use it as economic efficiently as possible. This habit will be useful for us to make our investigation planning when we grow up. I was impressed by one story happened when Benjamin Franklin was seven. On a holiday, being charmed with the sound of a whistle that he had seen by the way, in the hand of another boy, he handed over all his pocket coppers for one. After coming back home, he was laughed by his brothers because he had given four times as much as the whistle was worth. He cried with vexation for he could buy(改为could have bought) many good things with the rest of the money. However, this was use(改为useful) to him afterwards, for the impression continued on his mind, so that often, when he was tempted to buy something he did not need, he said to himself, “do not give too much for the whistle and saved his money.
What’s more, learning how to manage money when you are a child may have far-reaching effect on your outlook on life. Later in Franklin’s life, he saw many people “gave too much for the whistle”. Such as many people, who are fond of popularity, constantly taking part in political affairs, neglecting their own business, and ruining it by neglect. He found that many people put a false value on things and paid too much on it. In short, this accident taught him “enough is enough”.
At last, learning how to manage money when you are little can spur your interest in business. So far as I know, many successful businessmen share experience of doing business when they are young.
In conclusion, learning how to manage money at a young age has so many benefits that it could help us to be more financial responsible when we grow up.
逻辑挺清楚的，语言也很好，学习了~只改了个别语法错误，一起讨论~

ChwyUID：3027653

Some people think that giving money to children for awarding their high score is a kind of efficient means to motivate children. However, this way of material rewarding may have bad impact on children in their future life. There are reasons below.



Firstly, if parents always award their children money for encourageencouraging them to get high score, their children may be greedy afterwards. BecauseBecause只是原因从句 the higher score, the harder their children must work. Children would not be satisfied with the reward they have got before, as result they would require their parents to increase their reward constantly. Parents have to pay more and more as their children’s learning motivation. In my opinion, it is a bottomless money pit for parents to reward their children for higher score.   

What’s more, this behavior说明下什么behavior may train the去掉 children to be an arrogant and cruel感觉这个形容词有点不恰当 materialist. For their learning motivation is money, the去掉 children would set up their goal as earning as much money去掉 as possible at that time. For people’s experience is crucial for the formation of their characters, they would have strong desire for money when they grow up. I have met a miser who gave up every kind of comfortable living, all the pleasure of doing good to others, all the esteem of his fellow citizens and the joys of friendship, for the sake of gathering and keeping health不太懂？不是在说钱吗？怎么跑到健康了？. I think he is a rather poor man for he only have eyes for money.



At last, children should be responsible for their future by themselves. Parents have no duty to enough它有动词形式吗？ their children to work harder by giving them money. This behavior will only dampen Self-reliance Development of children.

In conclusion, parents should not reward their children money for higher score for it has so many disadvantages. Especially, this behavior is harmful for children’s further development in the future.

feifeionlyUID：2778967

sorry，来晚啦！

tulipzongUID：2803521

In the passage, the author says the declination of sea otter is largely due to environmental pollution rather than hunts by predators. In contrast, the professor in the listening strongly disagrees with the author. The professor thinks attacks by predators are the decisive factor.
Firstly, the author gives reasons that there are rich sources of industrial pollution along the Alaskan coast and otters’ resistances to lethal infections are deeply harmed. However, the professor refutes the reason by arguing that there are no dead otter along the coast. Then, the professor defends that if the otters are eaten by predators, they would not be washed to the the coast.
Secondly, since environmental pollution often affects entire ecosystem, the declination of seals and sea lions contributes to his point. What’s more, widely occurring predators prefer to hunt much larger prey. On the contrary, in the professors’ view, the drop of other sea mammals is due to human hunter for they forced widely occurring predators to change their diet to smaller prey such as otters and other sea mammals.
At last, in opposite of author’s view, the professor thinks uneven pattern of otter decline is better explained by predator hypothesis rather than pollution hypothesis. The professor explains that if many locations are accessible, the amount of otters declines greatly. On the other hand, if the locations are inaccessible such shallow and rocky zone, the amount of otters would decline at all.

aurora0624UID：3039878

In the passage, the author says the declination of sea otter is largely due to environmental pollution rather than hunts by predators. In contrast, the professor in the listening strongly disagrees with the author. （这里我建议写professor和author的view是contrary的 ，而且我觉得这句最好用复杂句直接写professor的观点）The professor thinks attacks by predators are the decisive factor.

Firstly, the author gives reasons that （the first viewpoint that,原来的说法感觉有点奇怪）there are rich（不懂rich在这里的意思，如果说很多工业污染源的话用many吧） sources of industrial pollution along the Alaskan coast and (这里用结果关系更好吧，as a consequence)otters’ resistances to lethal infections are deeply harmed. However, the professor refutes the reason（this更简洁些） by arguing that there are no dead otter along the coast. Then, the professor defendreass that if the otters are eaten by predators, they would not be washed to the the coast.

Secondly, since environmental pollution often affects entire ecosystem, the declination of seals and sea lions contributes to his point. What’s more, widely occurring predators prefer to hunt much larger prey. On the contrary, in the professors’ view, the drop of other sea mammals is due to the human hunters for they forced widely occurring predators to change their diets to smaller prey such as otters and other sea mammals.（没太明白啥意思。。。= =）

At last, in opposite of the author’s view, the professor thinks uneven pattern of otter decline is（can be） better explained by predator hypothesis rather than pollution hypothesis. The professor explains that if many locations are accessible, the amount of otters declines(would decrease,decline用太多了) greatly. On the other hand, （我不太确定这个词组是否可以这么用，用In contrast更保险点）if the locations are inaccessible such shallow and rocky zone(不明白想表达什么，缺个in之类的介词吧，或者是举例？,such as XX and XX), the amount of otters would not decline at all.

PS.我的综合因为按错一个键木有了。。。所以就没得改了。。欢迎交流哈

tulipzongUID：2803521

呃，很久没写，手生了，请请狠拍

sun3mayUID：2574771

写的不错的。3.24独立~

Go2011GoUID：3006241

tulipzongUID：2803521

3.25 综合，谢谢修改

aurora0624UID：3039878

貌似不能传附件。。。= =


In the passage, the author says that many people are reading far less literature has some bad effects. In contrast, the professor in the reading（笔误，listening） disagrees with this opinion.
Firstly, the author says that a decrease in book reading causes less intellectual stimulation to exercise our imagination. However, the professor says that reading books in science, history, politic are also included in book reading. It can also be an impetus to our imagination. These books benefit us equally（我记得疑似是better？回头我再听一下。。。听了一遍，确实是equally） as novels.
Secondly, while the author complains that many forms of entertainment such as watching TV or surfing on internet people like has lowered the level of culture in general. On the contrary, the professor opposes this opinion. The professor says that the author doesn’t list music and movie as fashioned entertainments. These forms are not a waste of time and lower level of culture. As society is developing, forms of entertainment are changing as well, thus people like more directly ones.
At last, the author says that serious writers are ignored nowadays for lacking audience. The professor refuted it by arguing that it is because modern literatures are more difficult to be understood that readers have to give up reading them. And(and不可以放在句首,and) it will not cause the writing to decline.

我觉得写得挺好的，没什么大问题，学习了，欢迎交流哈~
求问如何将要点记得这么全？