求改啊，各位。。。argument 35

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Argument 35
求各位指个大方向就好。。。谢谢先。

The following appeared in the summary of astudy on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.


“Salicylates are members of the samechemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although manyfoods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decadesfood-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods aspreservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found tocorrelate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported byparticipants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies havefound that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. Withthis new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in thenumber of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."

Before being sure that the decline in the number of headaches will happen, severalfacts in this argument should be examined from other angles. The author provideseveral facts to support his conclusion that salicylates can treat headaches,and expect that the number of headaches will decline. However, close scrutinyof those facts reveals that none of them lend credible evidence to support theauthor's conclusion.
Firstly, the author unfairly assumes thatsalicylates have similar treatment with aspirin that can cure headaches.Lacking evidence to support this assumption, it is entirely possible thatalthough salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, theyhave very different work on person--- Salicylate may not treat headaches. Infact, salicylate which have been adding to foods as preservatives, maybe harmto health. As we know, preservative in junk food could lead to overweight.Without considering and ruling out those possibilities, the author cannot convince me.
Secondly, decline in the average number ofheadaches reported by participants does not necessarily indicate that it isbecause of the rise in commercial use of salicylates. It is possible that thelocal residents' habit changed recent years. They were interested in exercise,and majority of them started running or swimming every day. Exercises make themfeel good and cure headaches. Again, it is also possible that the dietary habitchanged. They like eating vegetable recent years. Those habits may make themaway from headaches. Besides, perhapsthe environment of this city is probably changed. With eliminating air andwater pollution, the rate of headache would decline. These scenarios, if true,would undermine the author's conclusion.
Finally, even if the author cansubstantiate all of the foregoing assumption, he still cannot convince me thatsalicylates which used as flavor addictives for food could lead to a steady declinein the number of headaches. It is entirely possible that salicylate is notsuitable to use as a kind of addictive. It might react when it touches withfood or water, and then produce something harmful. Besides, perhaps the excesssalicylate would not be effective to treat headache.

To sum up, I can safely conclude that thereis potent flaws in the argument. To make it more convincing, the author shouldprovide more persuasive evidence and more data to support the author’s opinion,as well as take every possibility into account.