Issue 24 求拍

Jasper7UID: 3016670

Issue 24. People in positions of power are most effective when they exercise caution and restraint in the use of that power
Necessarily through the execution of caution and restraint can people in positions of power successfully lead the group of people and some social communities as a whole to run gracefully, even though, a set of critical difficulties may always be in front of us or we are unfortunately bogged down in a disgusting dilemma. However, originality and freedom are likewise essential if those people really have the strong desire to be highly effective leaders.

As for efficient political leaders, to a certain degree, it is impossible to make the people, who are under the leadership, be truly subordinated to their superiors unless leaders can, in a large scale, be careful and prudent about what is going on which is under their leadership. After all, power of the leaders can be used to make as much contribution as possible to support the benefit of each members of the group or social community and it should be to. In that case, it is of great importance for leaders to take into consideration every aspect of the extant parts of information and the things what will be like in the future so as to make a relatively proper choice which will meet the balance of the above. As a typical example, Abraham Lincoln has consistently been ranked by scholars as one of the greatest of all the U.S. Presidents. He successfully led his country through its greatest internal crisis, the American Civil War, preserving the Union and ending Slavery. People believe him to be the national hero in the stream of politics as well as in history. This illustrates the point that a great many sets of work and problems are available for a leader to work out, understanding the most essential ones by the leader's prudent brain that really matters.

On the other hand, only by means of exercising caution and restraint is far less sufficient as for being an effective leader. If leadership is dictated mainly by carefulness, the bellwether may easily be lost in the surroundings and then, it is not a problem of choosing the most suitable course of action, but a situation that one has no idea about the actual significance of the things he is confronted with. Simply put, he is bogged down in the Sargasso Sea of contemporary knowledge and information load. As the head of Applied Mathematics at my university once said (and I paraphrase):"A more effective way of research in one study or task is by all means to seek for any possibility which is approachable for your question rather than being confined in a tiny place of seemingly accurate, and simultaneously, merriment derived from probing is also a by-product of your research.” This appropriately demonstrates that under the leadership of caution and carefulness, one may be restricted in a bush of useless struggling; he necessitates widening the horizon to watch lucidly about the larger level.
Finally, it also necessitates freedom and vigor to an organizer's blood and mind for the reason that organizer is such an independent individual who leads the main benefit of a group of people or a social community now and then (if possible). Flexibility is an essential factor for one leader when he is dealing with a variety of daily incidences and even crucial decisions. Managers' appealing charisma can be served as the symbol of their company or group which is often put emphasis on by their counterparts as well as the trade companions and the competitors. As we can see in many classical campaigns, the true generals who can be called heroes are such people of great courage and insight rather than those who are always merely look ahead into the future and back into the past. It exemplifies that freedom and vigor in mind is of substantial importance to such a particular group of people who are in the positions of power, and its indispensability gradually calls for more leaders to considerably put emphasis on it.

Without caution and restraints, people in positions of power would not be efficiently take control of the whole group or organization, and simultaneously they are incapable of calming down to ponder blueprint of the organization's future. Without freedom and vigor in mind, it is too some point, the leaders are wasting the gigantic usage of their power. Thus, both positive and negative effects in the way of exercising caution and restraint for people in positions of power, it calls for a balance between caution and freedom as for the leaders when they are confronted the more competitive contemporary society.

hyyearUID: 2530283

就这样拍上了我的处女砖~
先说语言，表达流畅，清晰，不过楼主似乎有写复杂句的强烈冲动，不管怎样，比我的顺多了。
再来谈思路，ts很有力，给行文打下了坚实的基础，相对地提出了highly effective，有的放矢，拉开架势，像是要来阵地战了。也就是说，权力怎么应用才会更加有效。
接着主体，第二段让我感觉很生硬，像是硬套上去的，领导者的能力本身和权力的应用还是有很大的差别的，虽然有关系，也需要详细的论证。另外，再给权力加一个道德的标准来讨论，我完全同意你的标准，但这和ts又有什么关系呢？effective，这才是你的目标啊~
第三段论证很赞，有理有据，论证很详尽。如果有另一方面freedom怎么让领导着走出自身的局限性，就更好了。
第四点的论点也抓得很好，flexibility。不过，论证很乱。论证一个东西的重要性，不是说，因为他很重要，所以他很重要，而是去论证，what is it and why does it work。比如这里，灵活性就是每个人都有足够的权利去做他的决定，进而有了做决定的能力，而不是等着领导者的指使。然后在面对紧急情况，甚至是危的时候，一个团队才能够安然度过。最终达到垂拱而治的最高境界。至于后半段，就又不知道你在论述什么了。
结尾，中规中矩，相对平淡。
从全文来看，如果你一味的急于论证restraint的缺点，不如先论述他们为什么能effective，然后再来论述freedom，将其驳倒，这样就更通透。另外，论述不只是要言之有物，还要你的论述的内容和你的主题有强烈的逻辑关系。
呵呵，这砖够硬吧。。。

Jasper7UID: 3016670

观点切中要害啊，这个是我最开始的几篇issue之一，写得的确很乱。多谢指教哈~ 2# hyyear