ISSUE147 求拍，谢谢。有点来不及

挪啊慢UID: 3042503

TOPIC: ISSUE147 - "Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."
WORDS: 501          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2011/4/4 19:07:19

Since the progress of modernization has brought many benefits and extensively changed man's way of living, some people argue that this process could eradicate what was traditionally & broadly accepted before. Facing this problem, my answer is that while some traditions must be abolished to conform to modernization, in most cases, modernization and tradition are able to be combined harmoniously.

First, it is admitted that some traditions must give way to modernization. In fact, thanks to the advancement of science and technology in the last two centuries, modernization could thus happen. In this sense, we can simply equate modernization to science and technology, and if anything traditional that would impede the advancement of science of technology is accepted, modernization will have to be prevented, at least to some extent.

However, in the real world today, what we see more is not the blatant conflict between tradition and modernization, but a combination of both. This can be ascribed to the fact that modernization is a more open system than those bromides have expected. In fact, it is because of the spirit of science that past achievements and innovations must be combined that those most sagacious & practical parts of tradition could be preserved.

For example, the traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) has been practiced in China for thousands of years, but even today, with the prosperity of contemporary medicine, TCM is still used as an alternative treatment, especially when dealing with chronic or systematic diseases. Furthermore, researchers around the world are now doing experiments using the modern methodology (double-blind experiments) to assess whether herbs and acupuncture are efficient in curing diseases, and many of these results are positive. Today in China, more patients who are dying from cancer have been saved because they applied both the modern therapy and TCM, breaking the curse that cancer is incurable and bringing a better prognosis in China than many others, even developed ones.

And what's more exciting is that modernization can also provide solutions to those problems that couldn't be resolved in traditional ways. This has always been true in the field of science, where tradition (past achievements) and modernization (innovation) are the key spirit. Take the four-color theorem as an example, this theorem used to be a hypothesis that supposed, on any map of the world, four colors were enough to tell every country apart. However, before the 20th century, no mathematician could get the statement proved simply because of the intricate combinations of countries on a map. Then one day in the 1974, some scientists suddenly announced that they had proved the four-color theorem, using only the computer. This breakthrough in mathematics is due to the application of modern technology - the computer - to the traditional science of math, and it’s a well-done one.

Therefore, when one day superstitions and other pseudo-sciences disappear, we can expect a world fraught with a combination of tradition and modernization. On that day, the question will become “which pair is better” instead of “which one to choose”.

suggi2012UID: 3011608

Since the progress of modernization has brought many benefits and extensively changed man's way of living, some people argue that this process could eradicate what was traditionally & 【这个最好用and代替吧】 broadly accepted before. Facing this problem, my answer is that while some traditions must be abolished to conform to modernization, in most cases, modernization and tradition are able to be combined harmoniously.
【开头不错，用自己的语言，向你学习】

First, it is admitted that some traditions must give way to modernization. In fact, thanks to the advancement of science and technology in the last two centuries, modernization could thus happen. In this sense, we can simply equate modernization to science and technology, and if anything traditional that would impede the advancement of science of technology is accepted, modernization will have to be prevented, at least to some extent.
【感觉不是很有说服力，你把modernization等同于science和technology，后面有例子的支持感觉会更好，也能更加有力的说明的你的topic sentence，这样的例子也应该不难找】

However, in the real world today, what we see more is not the blatant conflict between tradition and modernization, but a combination of both. This can be ascribed to the fact that modernization is a more open system than those bromides have expected. In fact, it is because of the spirit of science that past achievements and innovations must be combined that those most sagacious & practical parts of tradition could be preserved. 【这句话结构没分析出来….所以不明白要说什么】

For example, the traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) has been practiced in China for thousands of years, but even today, with the prosperity of contemporary medicine, TCM is still used as an alternative treatment, especially when dealing with chronic or systematic diseases. Furthermore, researchers around the world are now doing experiments using the modern methodology (double-blind experiments) to assess whether herbs and acupuncture are efficient in curing diseases, and many of these results are positive. Today in China, more patients who are dying from cancer have been saved because they applied both the modern therapy and TCM, breaking the curse that cancer is incurable and bringing a better prognosis in China than many others, even developed ones.
【这例子不错】

And what's more exciting is that modernization can also provide solutions to those problems that couldn't be resolved in traditional ways. This has always been true in the field of science, where tradition (past achievements) and modernization (innovation) are the key spirit. Take the four-color theorem as an example, this theorem used to be a hypothesis that supposed, on any map of the world, four colors were enough to tell every country apart. However, before the 20th century, no mathematician could get the statement proved simply because of the intricate combinations of countries on a map. Then one day in the 1974, some scientists suddenly 【这词的戏剧化效果太强烈了吧，呵呵】 announced that they had proved the four-color theorem, using only the computer. This breakthrough in mathematics is due to the application of modern technology - the computer - to the traditional science of math, and it’s a well-done one.

Therefore, when one day superstitions and other pseudo-sciences disappear, we can expect a world fraught with a combination of tradition and modernization. On that day, the question will become “which pair is better” 【有哪些pair?不是很明白】instead of “which one to choose”.

1．        语言不错，句式丰富，高级词汇也不少。
2．        估计出于让步的考虑，你第二段没有举例子，但是觉得泛泛写下还是不够有说服力，要是能加上个较为精简的例子，这段就更好了。
3．        后面写的不错，递进关系，并且有例子支持。
4．        能在45分钟写成这样很不错了，要向你学习~~：）