issue7

linlinUID：137589

写了10篇左右吧，感觉这样精力消耗很大，只觉得大脑越写越乱，真郁闷啊！！
下面是俺刚写的一篇烂文，说实话我都觉得写的不好，本来没敢贴，今天拿出来作为反面教材吧。

[B]Issue 101 “the video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.”……（历史类）[/B]  

Written records as means to document have been used for a long time, since people first learned to write. Nowadays after hundreds of years of the predominance of writing came a new "noble" - the "modern beauty" camera. Many people are enchanted by her commodity, elegance, and realicity, and even predict that she will occupy the throne of written records and become the new "queen". But in my opinion, In the fields of documentation, either the "new noble" camera and the "previous emperor" written record has its merits and plays an role that cannot be replaced by each other.

In the first place, let me fill our eyes with the mien of our "beautiful and marvelous queen" camera. This modern beauty is primarily welcome by her embracers for her "honesty". She is honesty because she is equipped with the most progressive form of "eyes" which can provide such an accurate and convincing record of our life. People cannot neglect her slim figure in most of our public affairs. For instance, in the celebration day, while everyone falls into carnivorous, camera is working busily for picking up every scene, which is filled up of happiness. And in the fields of ordinary life, our pictures of life are also greatly retraced by the emergence of camera. A camera can help us regain our happy time such as our wedding, our graduating from college, and even every trip we have had. Furthermore camera is a loyal and responsible witness and detective. For example, reporters use camera to debunk such bad things as the delinquency of government for our society, policemen apply it to inspect the over speed of a car. So in this field, she is greatly accepted by people because of her innovation of records. For example, without camera, government would spend more police to inspect drivers, and it would be impossible to watch World Cup as soon as possible.

Then let us talk about our "previous emperor" - the written record. The written record has some merits that cannot be replaced by the "noble beauty" camera. The major one is that it is easier to record abstract subject by using written record than by video camera. Camera can provides picture, which can be perceived by our eyes, but when it comes to such world of abstraction as mathematics, psychology, and chemistry, its capacity of recording will be greatly undermined. For example, it is difficult for a mathmatist to record his ideas and theories by merely using videocassette, and psychologist will find it impossible to record applied psychology just by a series of pictures. Our ability to apply those abstract words offers us a more concise and easy way to hold our opinions and ideas than retained by video. So in this case, the records by written cannot be neglect.

Furthermore, written record is cheaper and more commodities than videocassette. For example, Averages don't need to raise their expenditure for owning a camera, if they want to record some important appointments in their ordinary life. By writing information down, a reporter will not miss an unexpected event because of the limitation whether he is carrying a video camera. The retaining our ability to write provide us an inexpensive and easy-operated way to record things for our life until we lose our capacity of handling those words.

In sum, to further improve our quality of recording, we should connect the function of camera and the merits of written records. Recording things using suitable way concerning their type and character will reduce the time and expenditure and make our work more effective.

ljbUID：126004

写的不知道比我好多少~~~

peterkingyesUID：120029

还可以，跟老外280篇里的有点相象

paisleyUID：64183

linlin, 我没有很多时间看你的作文，抱歉，不过我想跟你说的是，感觉不好的时候，就不要强迫自己了。我想你也练了不少，应该有心得了。可能强度太大的练习，反而容易把人的信心搞垮。我在考试前三天都没有再写了，只是快速地过题目，想提纲。

可能你可以歇一歇

7shevchenkoUID：111261

写的不错我觉得
从第2段开始一段比一段少，呵呵，跟我一样

tomatoeggsUID：82073

其实你用的这种“倒金字塔”式的结构，是可以为人接受的，因为你主要的还是阐述video camera的优缺点嘛。写得不错的。但我觉得你还是避免少用难词，特别是你不知道究竟用在什么地方为合适的时候，犹如，我们现在还对老外说 “ It rains dogs and cats.” 这无异于现在我们对着一个都市人说“之乎者也”那么别扭。这是我经常强调的问题，有空就最好多多查longman, oxford 等字典，看它的出处，及适用性，而不是根据gre难词里随便找一个有这种意思的词语套上去就得了，这样会让native speakers哭笑不得的。这是其一。其二，关于video camera 和 written records的优劣性比较，你还是没有说完全，比如，前者正因为是高科技产物，所以配件、能源也必须是顺应时代的，如电池，相片底纸等，这些就决定了它的适应范围大大缩小了；written works则不同，毕竟是千百年来流传下来的传统纪事方式了，有它不可替代性的；还有可以提到污染问题等，前者的零配件更容易污染环境等，这些都可以加以发挥；最后，由于你语法基本无错，除了难词的一点滥用小毛病之外(debunk（此词一般用在非正式场合）)，其他都不错的。不敢贸然打分，毕竟不是etsers!