xubujie的作文贴

xubujieUID: 3017465

4月18号独立作文
There is a general discussion these daysover the issue of education in many colleges and institutes. One of thequestions under debate is should a country focus its budget more on very youngchildren education rather than universities. For my part, I am in favor of theopinion that government should set aside more money for universities in orderto develop more successfully.

There is no denying that young childreneducation paly essential roles in children's lives. On one hand, a high qualityeducation exerts positive impacts on their future. During this time, theygradually form their morality and core value which are most important aspectsof a person's life. Whether they are educated well have huge influence on theirfuture success. Many great people like Einstein have received good educationduring their childhood. On the other hand, it is commonly accepted thatchildren are the future of a country.

Universities, as the center of science andeducation play more important roles in the development of a country. As weknow, many well-known scientists and politicians such as Stephen Hawking,Barack Obama has graduated from colleges in which they learned many knowledgeand strengthened their capabilities. From another aspect, universities createmany technologies, theories, management methods which changed people's livesdramatically and contribute directly to economic growth of countries especiallyAmerica. Moreover universities accept a wide range of person to study in, fromyoung to old. The more literate the residents are the more developed thecountry will be. Finally, to build a high quality university needs a largeamount of money.

From what has been discussed above, it canbe safely concluded that government should do more efforts to improve thecollege education. And universities also need more support from government.

jiangruiqianUID: 2838124

4月18号独立作文    题目都没有，您总要告诉我题目吧 ？ 还好我知道是机经题目哈
There is a general discussion （后面是从句，插入that链接）these daysover（ ？？这是什么意思呀）the issue of education in many colleges and institutes. One of the questions under debates is （个人感觉is改为that为好）should a country（这是主语，要放在should 前面吧） focus its budget more on very young （去掉吧，不解释）children education rather than （前面已经有more了，要么删除more，要么删除rather） universities. For my part, I am in favor of the opinion that government should set aside more money for universities in order to develop more successfully. （把从句提到I am favor 前面句要好些）

There is no denying that young children education paly （插入 an） essential roles（单数） in children's lives. On one hand, a high quality education exerts positive impacts on their future. During this time, they gradually form their morality and core （这是名词，我不知道你要表达啥）value which are most important aspects of a person's （可以individual替换）life. Whether they are educated well have huge influence on their future success. Many great （插入number of）people like Einstein have received （插入a） good education during their childhood. On the other hand, it is commonly accepted that children are the future of a country. 这句话句意不明确，请再认真改写下，这段用到了列子。 爱因斯坦啊，很多人像爱因斯坦？啊啊啊啊啊啊，这不恰当吧。

M; ~* }1 i" ]
Universities, as the center of science and education play（单复不分） more important roles（单复不分） in the development of a country. As we know, many well-known scientists and politicians such as Stephen Hawking,Barack Obama has graduated from colleges in which they learned many knowledge（这您都用出来了啊，我直接吐血而亡） and strengthened their capabilities.（如果不擅长写长句，请不要写长句，which定语从句用错了。） From another aspect, universities create many technologies, theories, management methods which changed people's lives dramatically and contribute directly to economic growth of countries（插入逗号，要不引起前后累赘） especially America. Moreover （插入逗号）universities accept a wide range of person（这里要用复数people，person为单数） to study in, from young to old. The more literate the residents are （插入逗号）the more developed（这里为什么要过去式？后面又来个will be，唉） the country will be.  Finally, to build a high quality university needs a large amount of money.  （最后这个结论有点牵强吧，自己再仔细想想。贸然出现大学要花很多的钱）
z) Z) O+ l& W

From what has been discussed above, it can be safely concluded （总么又用过去式，明明是现在时态） that government should do more efforts to improve the college education. And universities also need more support from government。

1.问题太多，不是话说得直，虽然我水平不高，如果您也是0423考，那就等死吧。当然我也会死，我也写的烂。
2.单复数不分，很严重。时态也是，严重。
3.如果不擅长写长句，不要在后面乱添从句，如which，and，把句子加的很长。费力不讨好。
4.就这篇文章而言，你第一个论点说小孩教育重要，第二段又说大学重要，结尾结论又来个大学重要要花钱，您到底支持哪方面嘛？
5. 你有在刻意强用一些单词跟句型，但又没写好，这点要注意。
6.先就这些吧，我改了五十分钟。个人意见，仅供参考哈。

xubujieUID: 3017465

4月20号 独立

Topic: Is it easier to be a success in the past than it is today

Almost everyone wants to be a successful person. When it comes to when it is easier to succeed. Some people claim that it is easier to be a success in the past than it is today. As for my part, I disagree with this view for the following reasons.

First of all, few countries have sound legal systems and stable governments in the past. As we know, with a good legal system and a stable government a country can develop fast, so do the citizens of that country. We can image this, a hardworking person who worked many years, and  finally he stored amount of money that allow he to do something he dreamed for a long time, but at the cutting edge, some notorious guys took his money by force. Without the help of government and the law to protect him, the only thing he could do is to complain. How sad he would be!

Secondly, there are racial discrimination and sexism in the past. In the circumstance, a lot of people even did not have a chance to be successful. The majority of women were just staying at home looking after their children or talking with their neighbors. Only men were demanded to go outside to learn knowledge, earn money so that they can do something meaningful. For black people, the situation may be even bad, some of them were slaves which were equated with animals. With these discriminations, it is extremely hard for women or black people to become successful person.

Lastly, today people have more ways to get a large quantity of information and to communicate with others than that in the past. There is no denying that individuals can learn more useful knowledge if they take advantage of this. Also we can keep in touch with each other easier through internet and telephone so that we can do more efficiency group work. With so many resources, sound legal systems, stable governments, the only thing we need to do to become a success is work hard.