新人。。。第一次写托福作文，求指导

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先摸摸地问一句。。。作文求批改应该发哪之类的，有规定否？题目是tpo1的独立写作，第一次写，用时22分钟，自己在word里改掉了拼写错的东西
大致地看了下评分标准，具体内容需要怎么办还不太清楚

题目：at universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.
不知道这篇作文重点在as important as，还是在equal financial support上。。。求好心人指导。。。

Some people regard study as the highestpriority for university students, thus they think less emphasis should be puton sports or social activities. However, I believe that sports and socialactivities are of the same importance as classes and libraries and shouldreceive equal financial support, since these activities could enhance the students'social ability, increase the chance of knowing more people and give studentsways to relax.


To begin with, those who often participatein sports and social activities will learn more abilities, such as team work,communication skills and so on, which could prepare those university studentsfor their future social life. Through participating in sports, such as playingbasketball or football, one could learn how to cooperate with his teammate andhow to deal with disagreement from others. And through social activities, forinstance, volunteer work, those university students have to acquire the abilityto communicate with other participants. The ability to understand others andmake oneself understood is essential for ones future. Studying in classes orlibraries alone, a student could not acquire such abilities.


Involving in those activities, studentscould also make more new friends. It is always happy for someone to find otherswho he shares the same interest. If you participate in a sports game, you wouldhave the chance to know your teammates or your opponents. If you go to some salon,the people you talk with are sure to be interested in the same thing as you do.Besides, some of those friends could help you in the future. For example, ifyou know a boss of a company when participating in a social activity, chancesare that the boss will one day employ you. Or he can recommend you to hisfriends. While studying give us the ability to handle technique problems,sports and social activities add our opportunities to be employed.


Furthermore, sports and social activitiesare definitely ways for students to be relax. Studying is really a tough thing.One cannot study all day. Thus the wiser way for a student is to spend most ofhis time learning, and part of his time participating in sports or social activities.As an old saying goes, always work, no play, makes John a dull boy. Thoseactivities could release the study pressure and give students the energy tokeep on learning.


To sum up, sports and social activitiesbring us additional abilities, friends and relaxation which one could notobtain in classes and libraries, thus financial for those activities should begiven, in order to prepare those students for their bright future. As the financialsupport for sports and social activities increase, university students couldbenefit and thus our society could benefit.

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求~~~~