Daily writting of paulpaul56 求批改

paulpaul56UID: 3004007

大家好！我才知道原来有这个活动，6.11考试，已经陆续写好11篇独立作文了，请大牛们多多指教～！
2009.04.03 NA
写于6.1
The best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers’ salaries.
The author contends that increasing teachers’ salaries is the best way to improve the quality of education. This assertion is admirable and rational in abstract, but inaccurate and ungrounded in reality. The author fails to consider other gradients that constitute the soul of a teacher, such as altruism and self actualization, and overlooks the subjective initiatives of students. On both count, increasing teachers’ salaries would not serve as the best way to improve the quality of education.
Admittedly, increasing salaries does indeed serve as a strong catalyst for better job performances, and teachers are no exceptional. Although we may not have conclusive scientific evidence of a cause-effect relationship, ample anecdotal evidence demonstrates a significant correlation. Moreover, both common sense and experience with job promotion support the relationship. When one moves up the corporate ladder, he or she is fully aware that, with great salary comes great responsibility. This responsibility would impulse he or she to achieve higher performance.
However, the author fails to consider other key elements that exert paramount influence on teachers, such as altruism and self actualization. The author fails to put Maslow’s pyramid theory into consideration. In 1954, American psychologist Maslow proposed that all people are motivated to fulfill a hierarchical pyramid of needs. What if a teacher has already reached his or her bottom of the pyramid? What if the teacher has already had enough essentials for life, and lives a decent or even an extravagant life? For example, famous  accounting professor Kaplan in Harvard University would not have to struggle for money. However, he kept on conducting researches, publishing papers and proposing new business theories, such as The Balanced Scorecard and Activity Based Accounting. This example strongly suggests that, other key ingredients, such as self actualization and altruism, also exhibit significant influence on teachers’ performance.
Moreover, the author unfairly assumes that, students receive knowledge solely from what teachers tell, that is, students posses not a bit of subjective initiatives. While teacher is a seemingly predominant source of knowledge of students, it is hardly the only one. Students, stimulated by innate interests, can search for related knowledge and learn on one’s own. For example, when Bill Gates studied at Lakeside School, he grew a huge fascination for computers. Even thought the school could offer little basics of computer science, Bill found reference books and started his legendary computer career by self-study. This example manifests that, students posses considerable subjective initiatives, also constitutes a necessary part of the quality of education.
In sum, the author asserts the best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers’ salaries, but fails to take teachers’ self actualization altruism, and students’ subjective initiatives, into account.
Therefore, the assertion, made by the author, proves to be less persuasive.

paulpaul56UID: 3004007

2009.10.31 NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the lost of old friends?
写于6.2

Is it good or not to move to a new place because of the lost friends? Consideration for friends, in my view, does play a vital role in judging moving to a new place. However, this question is flawed in its assumption, and it fails to consider other favorable benefits, which brought about by moving to a new place. On both counts, it appears that, moving to a new city or a new country stands a good chance to become a good thing.
Admittedly, moving to a new place is not always a favorable thing, due to the challenge to adapt to new surroundings and the memory to cherish of old days. After moving to a new city, we have no access to meeting hometown friends face to face, having dinners or playing basketball together. Moreover, we have to face the cruel truth that everything, in the new city or country, is literally all alien to us. Such occasions as getting lost or taking the wrong bus is bound to happen, and we have to take heart to ask locals for help.
However, this question fails to establish the casual relationship between loss of friends and moving to a new place. The assumption underlying the question is that, distance serves as the supreme hindrance between us and our old friends. Yet our personal experience directly contradicts this assumption. My dearest friend Ken, went to the same middle school with me, and then moved to Shenzhen to continue his high school study. We both had happy and carefree school days, playing soccer in the school playground and collaborating maneuvers in the online game of Warcraft. Even if we have not seen each other for almost 2 years, we still remain close contact by QQ and mobile phones.
Furthermore, judgment of the question mirrors the attitude one holds toward opportunity and risk, and an optimistic and aggressive attitude helps to better seize opportunity. Therefore, an optimistic and aggressive person can reap the reward of communication with new people and gain new friends in a foreign city. Our evaluation toward such an unforeseeable event as moving to a new city, in fact, reflects our attitude toward benefit along with potential risks. An optimistic person would neglect the possible failure of making new friends, and appreciate the potential success of that. As a consequence, an optimistic and aggressive person, in face of a new place, would not frown at unfamiliar surroundings, but make several new friends.
In sum, we do acknowledge moving to a new place may be unfavorable. However, it may well not result in loss of old friends, but, if lucky enough, in gain of several new friends, because the question is based on an unsubstantial assumption and neglects the various characters among people.

paulpaul56UID: 3004007

2009.11.07NA
For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?
写于6.2
The question, whether a government should focuses its budget more on young children education or on universities, involves two vital ingredients necessary to consider. The decision of this question should be based on the efficiency in the use of funds by elementary schools and by universities, and the different development phases of different countries. Therefore, in my view, it is optimal for developed country government to focus more on universities, and for developing country government to emphasize young children education.
Admittedly, it is hard to overstate the importance of children education. As children education serves as the fundamentals for future study, it is undisputable that without children education, hardly can any other kind of education thrive. Our world is replete with such occasions that, in rural hinterland, because of inferior quality of children education, generations of rural residents have to struggle in poverty. If high-quality children education is available for them, young children would stand at a good chance to continue their study and come back to spur local economy.
The evaluation of budget apportion should take efficiency of fund use into account. Even if children education is strongly essential, essentiality does not simply equal to the necessary amount of budge. The question, whether a government should focuses its budget more on young children education or on universities, fails to establish a causal relationship between the importance of children education with necessary amount of budget. In my view, the contribution of children education to the society is comparatively less far-reaching, compared with that of university. Considering the huge and far reaching output of universities, both in direct and indirect ways, we may come to the conclusion that university has a higher efficiency of fund use, and should gain more budgets from government.
Moreover, apportion of budgets should also differ from country to country. Such developed countries, as USA and UK, have already possessed a highly mature system of education. These countries have less marginal benefit in children education, but have a bright prospect in higher education. However, for those developing countries, like Togo in Africa, suffer from lack of basic education. In those countries, the marginal benefit of children education remains high. Nonetheless, to foster higher education there may be still a long way to go. Therefore, development phase of country, serves a key ingredient, to evaluate the focus on different schools.
In sum, the question asked about apportion of budgets is too general to draw a conclusion, for the question overlooks two crucial factors. Taking the two factors into account, I strongly suggest that developed country should focus more on higher education, while developing country should focus more on children education.

paulpaul56UID: 3004007

2009.10.17NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and televisions should always show audience good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished?
写于6.3

Is the best for movies and televisions, always show audience good people are rewarded, and bad people punished? In my view, this question involves a seeming conflict between advocacy of ethics and artistic value of movie or television. Therefore, in my view, answer to this question should be based on different people. Children should see movies and televisions that good people are always rewarded and bad people punished, while adults do not need to do so.
Admittedly, movies and televisions that advocate ethics do contribute to forge a better common morality in society. Although we do not have conclusive scientific evidence of a cause-effect relationship, ample anecdotal evidence establishes a significant correlation.  When movies of Florence Nightingale demonstrated her heroic reputation, attributed to her unparalleled effort to reform the sanitary conditions after Crimean War, people tended to have more eagerness and passion to serve society.
However, these movies that advocate morality, are often of little artistic values. Consequence of such movies is always that, good people get rewarded and bad people punished. Audience would frown at these stereotyped movies and turn to see movies of profound meanings. Moreover, compared with movies which have happy endings, movies of tragedy, that good people may not result in reward, reflect the ultimate concern of human being. Socrates contends that tragedy is a serious and complete imitation of acts. Such seriousness, in fact, implies the ultimate concern to the actual lives of human beings.
Consequently, we may safely come to the conclusion that, babies would better to watch movies that good people are rewarded, while adults can watch movies that are virtually different. For babies, they have not developed a mature values system to distinguish from right to wrong. The movies, which publicize a positive value to audience, would exert strong help for babies to forge their values. But for adults, who have mature values systems, should not be confined to see movies that good people are rewarded and bad people punished. They are free to choose a wider range of movies. For example, movies of Socrates, who made unparalleled contribution to the Greek republic but was unfairly executed due to guilty of corruption of youth mind and “not believing in the gods of the state”. This series of movies, demonstrated the cruel but genuine truth that good people are not always being rewarded, and presented the concern of a defect of democracy, which Aristotle contends, irrationality of majority. Such movies show deep concern to the serious and complete lives of human beings and therefore possess high artistic values.
In sum, to better evaluate the question, whether movies and televisions should always show audience good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished, should take different types of people into account. In my view, baby would be better to watch such movies and televisions, but adult do not need to do so.

paulpaul56UID: 3004007

TPO19 综合作文
写于6.8
The speaker refutes the reading passage about buzzer. In contrast to the claim in the reading passage that buzzing may be a bad way to promote products, the speaker points out that all of points talked about in the passage are not true.
First of all, the student in the listening material contends that, buzzers tell truth. In reality, companies find some of their customers, who use their products and find their products decent, to do the job of buzzing. It is true that buzzers receive pay from those companies, but buzzers do not tell lies. This aspect is totally opposite to the claim in the reading passage, which contends that buzzers are simply paid to advertise and praise the products even if qualities of the products may not be that good.
Secondly, according to the speaker, consumers are in fact highly critical in the buzzing. In the process of buzzing, people keep on asking questions of the products, such as price and quality. If buzzers fail to answer these questions, people tend to not buy these products. This is also contradictory to the reading passage, which claims that consumer is not fully questionable in buzzing.
Moreover, the student Bill in the speech argues that buzzing will not lead to bad influence on social relationships. It is because that only do companies with good products stand a good chance to hire buzzers. Furthermore, consumers, who try the products, will gain experience of use of the products. Therefore, consumers can get a better understanding of the products, resulting in a more trustful relationship with people.

paulpaul56UID: 3004007

TPO16 综合作文
9.18
TPO16
The lecture raises serious counterarguments against the reading passage by providing drastically different evidences about the preservation of valuable sites, the new regulation on financial resources, and the availability of archeology jobs.
First, UK government requires that examination by archaeologists should be conducted before new construction projects start. If the examination successfully find sites to be archaeologically valuable, archaeologists and local officials will work together to either excavate those sites or let construction projects move to a neighboring area. This directly contradicts what the reading contends that construction can lead to great loss of crucial artifacts.
Second, construction companies are responsible for the pay of archaeologists in the examinations. The passage suggests that the archaeology have rare financial resources, only from government and grants. However, the lecturer points out that the requirement in 1990 has provided substantial fund for archaeology research.  The rule requires that not only should construction companies pay the initial check, but also pay all other following procedures of archaeological preservation.
Moreover, regulation in 1990 substantiates the availability of archaeology jobs. The reading considers the jobs of archaeology limited, only the ones in government and in universities. However, the lecturer holds that, according to the regulation, archaeologists are needed to perform at all stages of research, ranging from site preservation to data processing. The improvement of research fund and the increase of job availability attract scores of promising applicants, making the number of archaeology research staff to highest in the history.

paulpaul56UID: 3004007

TPO17 综合作文
9.18

The lecture raises serious counterarguments against the reading passage by providing drastically different evidences about the effect of human urbanization, the influence of agricultural growth, and the impact of pesticide on populations of birds.
First, urbanization offers a better and bigger habitat for birds. This view contradicts what the reading states that human settlement has squeezed the traditional place of birds and thus decreased bird populations. The lecturer points out that, on the contrary, citizens find the increasing amount of birds a little annoying, such as pigeons on the roads. Even sometimes, you can see hawk and falcon in city, because their preys abound in city. The lecturer further reasons that some birds’ populations may decline and some may increase, but not all the birds' populations will fall.
Moreover, growing agricultural activities will not harm birds in the way stated in the reading. Lecturer admits that agriculture may jeopardize bird populations, but not in the way the reading assumed. The professor reasons that nowadays less land is for agricultural use, and the newly-introduced crops can produce more grains per land. The introduction of productive crops, not the rise in agricultural land, contributes to advancement of agriculture.
In addition, several measures of pesticide have been taken to protect birds. Whereas pesticide poisoned birds in the past, the newly-developed pesticides have much less effects on birds. The lecturer says that the passage commits a false fallacy by drawing conclusion from history to future, regardless of the growing awareness of the effects of pesticides. Moreover, genetically pest-resistant crops have been designed, and they have a promising market to apply. Therefore, these new crops do not require pesticides, and make birds less exposure to pesticides.

paulpaul56UID: 3004007

TPO18综合作文
9.18
The lecture raises serious counterarguments against the reading passage by providing drastically different evidences about the reestablishment of Teorreya in original place, the assisted migration, and the preservation of it in research center.
First, to reestablish Torreya in the original location seems unlikely to success. This view contradicts what the reading states that the wet and cool climate of Northern Florida is preferable to Torreya. The lecturer points out that this area is seriously susceptible to larger area's climate change. Not only do global warming makes the area hotter, but also the drainage of neighboring wetland cause the area drier, making the place unfavorable for the Torreya's growth.
Moreover, assisted migration may cause unexpected result. Even though Torrey has a good chance to thrive in a different location, as the reading states, the lecturer uses the example of Black Lotus to illustrate her point of view. Since it has moved to an unfamiliar condition, it spread so fast that it takes places of other plants and trees, some of which are endangered species, and cause them to extinct.
In addition, research centers are not capable of holding enough Torreya. While the reading deems that planting Torreya in centers would facilitate scientists to protect and do research, the lecturer points out one shortcoming of the centers. That is, Torreya should be kept in large quantity and genetically diverse conditions to prevent disease. However, research centers cannot such a large quantity and diverse condition, therefore making centers a unfavorable place to protect Torreya.

paulpaul56UID: 3004007

能不能告诉我下，为什么没人帮我批改啊？批改组的QQ群人满了，进不去。 谢谢大家了！