[daily writing] sundae 的独立作文 新手哈 求指教

after90sundaeUID：3132327

分完组q上传文章

师走99UID：2857041

咦？29号的在哪里？

after90sundaeUID：3132327

？我们一组？我记得我那个组就两个人啊

after90sundaeUID：3132327

？我们一组？我记得我那个组就俩人啊 17# 师走99

after90sundaeUID：3132327

8.1

wendychuengUID：2811319

20# after90sundae 我和你一组，但是和你写的不一样题目，我尽快写了这篇再给你改好吧

tiannipUID：2745078

20# after90sundae
批改后的作文见附件，不对之处请多保函，嘿嘿。

smenxiaoUID：2929493

我等级太低无法发附件，不好意思。
改8.1日的独立作文：

Maybe the most perfect job in everyone's mind is one with both vacation and salary as much as possible. But usually no boss will offer such a job, so job hunters often consider which kind of job is better, the much-vacation one or the high salary-one. I think this choice is totally depends on individuals because each one has his own need or favor, which is actually nothing about judgements.
To me, if both of the two factors, vacation and salary , range in proper amount that doesn't cause problem to my survival, I prefer a job with more vacation even if its salary is not that high. And here isare my reasons.

First, I think my pursuepursuit of life does not lie in making money. To go to universities, to take part in tests of qualifications, and even to get a higher place in a company, from my point of view, are not approaches to more money but ways of challenging and proving oneself. Such exciting processes like climbing a mountain make me feel passion and ambition, especially when I am doing the things that I love.(例子举得很形象) Therefore, I don't need a job with so high salary that I can make a millionaire. (这句改成”I don’t need such high salary job to make me a millionaire”是否好点？我不太确定so high salary的说法是否正确，听起来有点不妥。)

Second, more vacation time means more freedom, and more freedom will make me more satisfied with life. There have been many reports about stress from job affect people's happiness negatively. And people's happiness is crucial for the society's harmony and stableness. During the free time, I can enjoy my hobbies with friends, accompany my family members, or just sit alone in a park under the warm sunlight of a beautiful afternoon, all of which can make me less resistant to doing my job.(语言很生动、具体，感觉会是ETS喜欢的那种。) Life has many kinds of fun including the job being what I love to do. However, if we always focus on only one of them, any kind of fun will turn boring. The way of life needs breaks for refreshing ourselves, for quiet thinking, and also for appreciating the sighting along the road.

In sum, I tend to choose the job with more vacation instead of more money.

after90sundaeUID：3132327

8.3 独立

xieqy0326UID：2653877

写的不错，学习了~~

after90sundaeUID：3132327

8.5 独立

佳佳LOVE舞UID：3050951

好了~

happinessviviUID：2837177

你的独立写作真的很棒很棒很棒：D

after90sundaeUID：3132327

8.8独立