issue77 大家打个分好吗

enso1600UID: 135796

77"People today are too individualistic. Instead of pursuing self-centered, separate goals, people need to understand that satisfaction comes from working for the greater good of the family, the community, or society as a whole.


It is true that people need to understand that satisfaction comes from working for the greater good of the family, the community, or the society as a whole. But this does not make up the reasom to complain that people today are too individualistic. After all this world is too practical. Pursuing the individual goal is the foundation when serving the whole society, they should not contradict with each other.

With the pace of life increases rapidly, we often have the wrong impression that most of us are busy in chasing their private goals and forget to put the greater good of the society ahead. Actually this is not always the case.First, the separete goals are the sill for the larger and greater goals for the other. For example, most of the people want to master a special skills and earn a better living, during this process people try to reach their target efficiently, they also realize the demands of the families, communities and society.  Sometimes we are just ignored this point and cast too much shadows to this apparently selfish purpose which can best lay a foundation for the greater good of the society in the long run.By pursuing their own goals,the winner of Nobel prize not only bring themselves significant mount of money and prestigious reputation, they also promote the development of society.

Meanwhile, absolutely ignoring the significance of individuality would hinder the realization of social values. Only we are sure about our personal goals , we would better for the society or family. If a student of medical student has not set up his goal to heal the wounded and rescue the dying, hardly could he/she become a good doctor in the future even if his skills are competent.

Sometimes we could find our own goals through communication and immitation with others. Kids  are usually imagining being a kind of person what their parents are. Parents' hobbies and careers could influence goals of children's future life. When a child is growing into maturity, he experienced several steps' education: family, school,society. Actually, nobody could think out his goals without hints from the society. Through helping others, we might develop our considerable personality which would be useful in our future life. Through attending lots of social activities such as public contest, discussion and promotions, we could find our real interests.The most important things is that we could be encouraged more and more, then make great efforts to do things for the good of society.

simply put, the development of individualism does not impede the working for the greater good of the society. Actually they are interweaved and interdependent. There should be a balance between public good and personal goal if the personal goals can benefit the whole society to some extent.

sacrabUID: 140880

Wording is good but it seems that the article lacks insightful discussion of the thesis statement. And I think the last but one paragraph is a little bit off the point.

enso1600UID: 135796

3x, 请指教
说一下你的思路，好吗

sacrabUID: 140880

Thesis statement: Individuals and society which are closely related to each other, should be treatedly equally and it is impossible to decide which one comes the first.
Introduction
Main ideas:
1.        Individuals constitute the whole society, while the society also supports the individuals.
a)        On one hand, individual's work, consumption, creative thought and scientific breakthrough, etc. are vital to the development of society
b)        On the other hand, society provides individuals education, employment, multiple human relations, etc. for the individuals.
2.        It is a fine balance which may be broken easily by the loss of weight on either side.
a)        Too much individual will lead to the floods of egoism, which may break ties connecting people from all works of life and deplete the resources for further development of the society.
b)        Too much society will greatly discourage the individuals thus making them forming intentionally sluggish attitudes for their work.
3.        Individuals should contribute a little more to society than those returned by society.
a)        That input equals output means no more reserve for development.
b)        The development of society will accordingly increase individual’s gain.
c)        One will be respected if he sacrifices a little to society.
Conclusion