１３号上考场 有没路过热心人 给看看作文咋样

卡卡其天空UID: 2551831

考完六G 忙着实验 最后三周开始准备考Ｔ．一开始都听力　和阅读　。
最近刚刚开始写作文。
发上　一个综合　一个　独立　不知有没好心人给改一改　或者给点建议。多谢　多谢　
ＴＰＯ　１３　的　今天刚刚模考的　

TPO 13
The professor provides sufficient evidence to confirm that the point mentioned in the passage is not substantiated. In her view, even though there are some negative consequences of selling fossils in the commercial market,
the advantages definitely outweigh the disadvantages.

To begin with, the professor argues that the public would have more opportunities to see the fossils rather than fewer chances. What's more, some private collectors are willing to let the public to see the fossils.

Furthermore, the point made in the passage that scientists are likely to lose access to some of the most important fossils and thereby miss out on potentially crucial discoveries is not reliable. As the speaker contends, the fossils would definitely pass to their hands because it is them who determine the importance and value.

Finally, the professor believes that commercial fossil collectors would promote the procedure of discovering the new fossils underground, which is quite beneficial to the protection of the fossil instead of burying in the soil.

Overall, the point in the reading paragraph is logically and convincing attacked by the professor. With further evidence and trustful materials the speaker totally objects the view that the private collector brings harm to the fossils.




独立作文

Within the several decades, the rapid development of economy and technology enables people to encounter with various problems in their life. Meanwhile, some people contend that it is less important that the extended family to us now than it was in the past. However, in my opinion, the fact is that the extended family cast a more important role than ever before. The reasons are as follows.

To begin with, most families just have just one child as here in China our government implemented a policy on the birth control. In this sense, even the parents can satire the requirements in material; they can never afford them happiness about love form peers like cousins and other relatives. What's more, the fast pace of life make parents have little time to spend with their child, and then we can figure out the importance of the extended family.

Moreover, people may face various puzzles in their daily lives; however, most of them cannot solely be solved with money. When you get sick, although the high-tech equipments may cure your body in a short time, the depressed or hopeless feeling could not easily be treated with materials. In this time, comfortable words and actions from relatives would provide great help, which may also benefit the process of recovery meanwhile.

Last but not least, we are living a world where people are aliened by the fast tempo of work. When we have to make some vital and complex decision, usually we do need some relatives like grandparents or uncles who have experience a lot in the society to offers us some suggestions. Moreover, family party with these relatives would greatly supply us lots of fun. Indeed, these people are the ones we can turn to for help and advices when we are in trouble.

To sum up, based on the analysis above, we can conclude that the extended family play a more important role in present day life than ever before. In this sense, we should pay more attention to keep a good relationship with these relatives.

卡卡其天空UID: 2551831

2# ifnoword 无礼的问一句 可不可先帮我改改 我周六考完 义务给大家 改？ 实在时间有限。不好意思。

Fruit~UID: 2559265

Within the several decades, the rapid development of economy and technology enables people to encounter with (enable使一个褒仪词, 你这里用了不合适) various problems in their life. Meanwhile, some people contend that it is less important that the extended family to us now than it was in the past (extended family  means less to us than ever before). However, in my opinion, the fact is that the extended family cast a more important role than ever before. The reasons are as follows., d* a; |9 t5 n) S* E2 B

- b# k' L; ~; m! x8 eTo begin with, most families just have just one child as here in China our government implemented a policy on the birth control (Due to the one-child policy in China, most families only has one child. In this way, your expression can be more succint). In this sense, even the parents can satire the requirements in material (cannot understand this sentence); they can never afford them happiness about love form peers like cousins and other relatives (cannot understand this sentence). What's more, the fast pace of life make parents have little time to spend with their child, (.) and then (In this way, )we can figure out the importance of the (delete "the") extended family.
, t8 C. O: V9 w& k& y 9 @1 j( X# Y' w9 ?
Moreover, people may face various puzzles (getting sick is not an appropriate example of "puzzles") in their daily lives; however, most of them cannot solely be solved with money. When you get sick, although the high-tech equipments may cure your body in a short time, the depressed or hopeless feeling could not easily be treated with materials. In this time, comfortable words and actions from relatives would provide great help, which may also benefit the process of recovery meanwhile.* W1 Q4 l8 W1 d- I, x
& T' l+ I0 g4 ?. Z/ N
Last but not least, we are living (in) a world where people are aliened by the fast tempo of work. When we have to make some vital and complex decision(s), usually we do need some relatives like grandparents or uncles who have experience a lot in the society to offers us some suggestions. Moreover, family party with these relatives would greatly supply us lots of fun. Indeed, these people are the ones we can turn to for help and advices when we are in trouble.
7 _) h2 s; l8 K' Z: _ ; E6 C& e* Z8 E. A+ l
To sum up, based on the analysis above, we can conclude that the extended family play a more important role in present day life than ever before. In this sense, we should pay more attention to keep a good relationship with these relatives.6 f% S; \+ W, ~. ^, S3 J+ ^

卡卡其天空UID: 2551831

4# Fruit~ 五点起来就帮我改作文。 感动啊 。万分感激啊。泪奔啊 。。呵
关于两句话 你没看懂 。 我认为是我 直接用英文翻译中文了 。确实不妥   多谢指点。好人啊

Fruit~UID: 2559265

5# 卡卡其天空

我在芝加哥, 所以上班时间往这里看, 不是大半夜哈.

你有的句子太萝锁了, 很多东西更简段的表达方是就能达到目的了. 另外, 用词上也过于简单, 基本停留在高3-大1的水平.

卡卡其天空UID: 2551831

6# Fruit~ 哦 总而言之 多谢哈
这两天多看些范文 突击一下。 词汇确实考完Ｇ忘的差不都了。
多谢你的意见　。祝好。