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[作文] 【Daily Writing Camp】alohasally 的作文贴 谢谢各位 [复制链接]

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发表于 2011-8-24 08:14:33 |只看该作者
Perhaps, few people can deny that the improvements of our society are affected by numerous things, idealisms and so on. When it comes more accurate(为什么是这个词,影响更准确?)  to weigh the influence of books and televisions, I hold the opinion that books have less effect on the society than TVs for the aspects of story retelling ability and attraction to all audience.

As is known to all, since the replayed truth in televisions are so wide and virtual that they always leave impressed(deeply) impressions, or even shocks, on the society. While an affair with educating or public meanings is told on TVs, not only the outline was narrative, but also together with appropriate music and real images or videos. None of this can be perfectly depicted in a book. For illustration, the recording program named Environment has once described the sufferings that are underwent by the deer in the Tibet, all around the whole society began to appealing the protections of deer there, which are totally brought about by the startling videos of the living situation of deer.

In addition, televisions serve a strong force to each class, ages, or genders in the society to impart something to the public only because it has more visional attractions than books. Consider the various programs on the TVs as examples. No matter it is a recording program, TV play, competition show or even an advertisement, it will tell people something in a subtle way that have influence to the society at any time. Each class of people could find their favorite programs on TV easily and furthermore may be addicted to it. This convenience and attraction from TV are to people is what a friendly teacher to them.(用这段的例子很好。但是和你这段的论点不符,电视更有视觉吸引力这个论点又和第一段重复了。建议换一个和例子更相符的观点。)

Nevertheless, we are not denying the impulse from books. Books are often said to the forever bright light from the destination. Once we find the kind and the individual book we like most, several information can be absorbed from it time after time. The more times we read it, the more different things we can be taught. Such a long-term progress is also an effective method to the society.GOOD

To sum up, when it comes to the influence that the books and televisions have on the society, televisions outweigh books. We appreciate the whole lively stories that are repeated in television programs. Its attraction to everyone in the society is also inevitable.

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发表于 2011-8-24 08:38:29 |只看该作者
我来了~~~
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发表于 2011-8-24 11:07:31 |只看该作者


Books have more influence on society than television.

Perhaps, few people can deny that the improvements of our society are affected by numerous things, idealisms and so on. When it comes more accurate to weigh the influence of books and televisions, I hold the opinion that books have less effect on the society than TVs for the aspects(aspect) of story retelling ability and attraction to all audience.

As is known to all, since the replayed truth in televisions are so wide and virtual that they always leave impressed impressions, or even shocks, on the society. While an affair with educating or public meanings is told on TVs, not only the outline was narrative, but also together with appropriate music and real images or videos. None of this can be perfectly depicted in a book. For illustration, the recording program named Environment has once described the sufferings that are underwent by the deer in the Tibet, all around the whole society began to appealing the protections of deer there, which are totally brought about by the startling videos of the living situation of deer.


In addition, televisions serve a strong force to each class, ages, or genders in the society to impart something to the public only because it has more visional attractions than books. Consider the various programs on the TVs as examples. No matter it is a recording program, TV play, competition show or even an advertisement, it will tell people something in a subtle way that have influence to the society at any time. Each class of people could find their favorite programs on TV easily and furthermore may be addicted to it. This convenience and attraction from TV are to people is what a friendly teacher to them.(这个句子是不是有点拗口?

Nevertheless与上文没有转折关系), we are not denying the impulse from books. Books are often said to the forever bright light from the destination. Once we find the kind and the individual book we like most, several information can be absorbed from it time after time. The more times we read it, the more different things we can be taught. Such a long-term progress is also an effective method to the society.这段说books的好处,突出不了你赞成TVbooks更有影响力)


To sum up, when it comes to the influence that the books and televisions have on the society, televisions outweigh books. We appreciate the whole lively stories that are repeated in television programs. Its attraction to everyone in the society is also inevitable.
这个作文题目,主要是探讨哪个的影响力更大,所以最好多点对比,侧重点强点比较好吧,文章的结构和语言都不错,就是感觉观点不够强)

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发表于 2011-8-24 22:07:15 |只看该作者
非常感谢之前各位的意见 我会继续努力8-24  两篇
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发表于 2011-8-24 22:30:54 |只看该作者
8.23综合
问题不大,很成熟的综合,和自己的对比下阐述的很详尽了,唯一能提的小瑕疵就是稍微变换下每段passage和lecture的顺序就更好了,多样的结构可能会丰富一些。加油

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发表于 2011-8-24 23:33:03 |只看该作者
33# cederica
主要是新手不能传附件 你多多回复点其他帖子就可以啦

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发表于 2011-8-25 00:24:17 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 小逸128 于 2011-8-25 00:26 编辑

8.24综合,级别不够发不了附件。。


Several arguments are quoted in the lecture to challenge the notion in the passage that there will be fewer and fewer birds according to human activities. As regards the urban progress, agriculture and pesticides using situations, the professor believes the population of birds could(would)
not reduce(fast) in the future as discussed below.lecture里讲鸟不会减少的很快,如果过could not reduce会不会太绝对了?



Firstly, the speaker in the lecture has the assertion that the settlement and urban development may make better and larger areas for some birds to live. On the base of (Based on the)
examples of sea gulls and pigeons on streets, she suggests that some type of birds may shrink, whereas others may have a better life in towns and the population can increase as well. This casts doubts on the opinion in the reading that all kinds of birds’ population will reduce in terms of human’s expand.



Secondly, as for the aspect that agriculture will cover more and more lands that used to be habitats for birds hence destroy birds families, the speaker in the lecture dose not agree. She indicates that agriculture in the future calls for less area than before. Each year, the lands are(删掉)
used for cultivating crops in the United States are fewer and fewer(听力里面好像说的是less) . The development will concentrate on productivity of each unit of lands (land). Thus, she concludes that the number of birds will not be affected by agriculture in the coming years.



Finally, according to the lecture, it is reasonable that pesticides are(were)
used so(too)
often before, but this trend will not continue to the future, from which the birds will suffer less harm from the pesticides. New more environmental kinds of pesticides will be researched for the crops in fields. And people are working for(on)
some pest resistant crops so that no more chemical pesticides are necessary for them. In the end(As a result), crops cannot be destroyed by chemical things. Neither will the birds. This is in contrast to the notion in the passage that birds will be killed or prevented from reproducing because of pesticides.

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发表于 2011-8-25 10:59:23 |只看该作者
你的8-23,有空也看看我的吧
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发表于 2011-8-25 19:59:03 |只看该作者
8-25  加油!  这个独立题目我想了好久  没在30min完成
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发表于 2011-8-26 17:28:33 |只看该作者
必须顶楼主哇  呵呵

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发表于 2011-8-26 22:00:27 |只看该作者
8.26 题目纠结,改的也纠结
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发表于 2011-8-27 13:46:09 |只看该作者
8.25 Annie's 修改稿
楼主无怒,小的改晚了,小的下回一定不再犯了~~
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Annie要当PhD!

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发表于 2011-10-26 10:51:32 |只看该作者
你好你的10.25作文已经改了一下,不才,望见谅
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RE: 【Daily Writing Camp】alohasally 的作文贴 谢谢各位 [修改]
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【Daily Writing Camp】alohasally 的作文贴 谢谢各位
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