【NINE小组】第七次作业—by 陈懂

winterfineUID: 3141531

92. Educators should base their assessment of students' learning not on students' grasp of facts but on the ability to explain the ideas, trends, and concepts that those facts illustrate.

The issue how to assess students' learning performance appropriately has caused wide concern. On the one hand, the statement emphasizing on the ability to explain ideas rather than memorizing facts seems reasonable, but recently, educators and politicians have reevaluated the importance of students' grasp of basic facts as well as abilities.

In many fields of research and study, obsession in certain pieces of facts often leads to doctrines impeding the development. Take physics as an example, in process searching evidence and establishing theories, the physicians inevitably encounter facts observed by their forerunners which prove to be imperfect. Newton's description of the world satisfied most of the researchers for many years and was accepted as the reality by many of them. As a result, they fail to explain the phenomenon observed at a speed approximate to light. On the other hand, with the ability to explain trends and meaning behind mere observations, Einstein introduced his relative theory, which he admits still imperfect. Actually, it is by correcting such imperfections the advance of physics is realized.

Significant as the ability to explain the trends prove to be, the grasp of basic knowledge is taken seriously by today's educators and politicians, especially when assessing the performance of students in primary and secondary schools. The No Child Left Behind bill proposed by President George Bush specifically focused on the education quality in public elementary and secondary schools. One of the major statistics referred to when evaluating the existing problems in contemporary educational system is the students' performance in standard academic tests. These tests estimate students' abilities including basic reading and math in different grades. There is wisdom in this proposal. In today's society demanding workforce with increasingly complex skills, individuals are expected to pursue their education for a life time. Mastering knowledge in math and reading lays the foundation for future survival and development, and accordingly, should be regarded as the major goal for the educational institution to achieve.

There is another problem deserves our consideration. The statement, concentrating on the relationship between grasping facts and the ability to explain them, merely focuses on the limited number of results of learning. However, to assess the quality of education, its nature as an experience cannot be neglected; that is to say, education should be regarded as a process individuals experience all the time. The class in schools is just a special form of communication through which teachers share his wisdom with his students. Knowledge and abilities can be acquired whenever a new situation is encountered in daily life; and every time communication occurs between individuals the understanding is influenced and enhanced. What is more, the facts and abilities brought by the experiences accumulate, the experience itself shapes the attitude and value system of the individual. To put it another way, the content of education transcends the narrow consideration of facts and the ability to interpret them. Consequently, when applying for graduate colleges, the GRE grade and GPA are not the only factors taken into account by the professors, the statement regarding the personal experience is also an indispensible aspect reflecting the learning level of the applicant.

ashtray_sUID: 3008202

The issue how to assess students' learning performance appropriately has caused wide concern. On the one hand, the statement emphasizing on the ability to explain ideas rather than memorizing facts seems reasonable, but recently, educators and politicians have reevaluated the importance of students' grasp of basic facts as well as abilities.

In many fields of research and study, obsession in certain pieces of facts often leads to doctrines impeding the development. Take physics as an（as an换成for） example, in(the) process (of) searching evidence（s） and establishing theories, the physicians（would）inevitably encounter facts observed by their forerunners which（might be proved to be） prove to be imperfect. Newton's description of the world satisfied most of the researchers for many years and was accepted as the reality（the reality换成a truth） by many of them. As a result, they fail（failed） to explain the phenomenon observed at a speed approximate to light. On the other hand, with the ability to explain trends and meaning behind mere observations, Einstein introduced his relative theory, which he admits （is）still imperfect. Actually, it is by correcting such imperfections the advance of physics is realized. （感觉这里的例子欠分析，比如最后一句话之后，重点应该是在如何correct吧？我觉得应该再深入地阐述一下由这两个例子所体现的facts和ability的关系。你最好在第一句也提一下ability否则后面这个例子就有点突兀。）

Significant as the ability to explain the trends prove to be, the grasp of basic knowledge is taken seriously by today's educators and politicians, especially when assessing the performance of students in primary and secondary schools(when it comes to the assessment of blabla感觉这样表达更好一点••). The No Child Left Behind bill proposed by President George Bush specifically focused on the education quality in public elementary and secondary schools. One of the major statistics referred to when evaluating the existing problems in contemporary educational system(就是education system) is the students' performance in standard(这里应该是standardized)academic tests. These tests estimate students' abilities including basic reading and math in different grades.（basic ability of reading and calculating 或者ability in both reading and math.你这样表达是有问题的•••） There is wisdom in this proposal. In today's society demanding workforce with increasingly complex skills（这里还是用定语从句会说的清楚一点•••这句子语法是错的••）, individuals are expected to pursue their education for a life time. Mastering knowledge in math and reading lays the foundation for future survival and development, and accordingly, should be regarded as the major goal for the educational institution （education institution）to achieve.（我觉得这段论证力度不够，这个议案本身并不能说明basic ability的重要性，我觉得再说一下这项议案实施以后带来了哪些实际的好处是不是比较有说服力，否则这个例子不能说明任何问题•）

There is another problem deserves（deserving） our consideration. The statement, concentrating on the relationship between grasping facts and the ability to explain them, merely focuses on the limited number of results(limited purposes是不是会好一点••) of learning. However, to assess the quality of education, its nature as an experience cannot be neglected; that is to say, education should be regarded as a process individuals experience all the time. The class in schools(class in school) is just a special form of communication through which teachers share his wisdom with his students. Knowledge and abilities can be acquired whenever a new situation is encountered in daily life（这话说的太绝对了吧••而且不只是要encounter还要deal with才能acquire knowledge and ability吧•••另外，读起来感觉前后两句话没多大关系）; and every time communication occurs between individuals the understanding is influenced（这词给去了吧•） and enhanced. What is more, the facts and abilities brought by the experiences accumulate, the experience itself shapes the attitude and value system of the individual. To put it another way, the content of education transcends the narrow consideration of facts and the ability to interpret them. （可教育的实质不就是要教给学生知识和解决问题的能力么••教授和学生communication不还是要教给他们知识和理解问题的能力么••）Consequently, when applying for graduate colleges, the GRE grade and GPA are not the only factors taken into account by the professors, the statement regarding the personal experience is also an indispensible aspect reflecting the learning level of the applicant.（我对你最后这段的想法。相对于你说的experience是在比facts和experience更大的一个概念下，感觉有点虚。就我的理解它们俩得关系跟facts和experience的关系有相似，因为经历本身不是重要的，重要的是你在这些经历当中学到了什么。不是经历本身让你成长，而是你通过这些经历学到了这些ability让你成长。申请学校不只要看GRE和GPA还要看个人经历是因为他们认为这两项不能全面地反映一个学生的能力，他们看中的也不是经历本身，而是通过经历能体现的你的能力，不然为嘛有的经历含金量高有的就没意义··然后，我看到你的这句话What is more, the facts and abilities brought by the experiences accumulate。So?你到底想说明什么呢?experience高于这两者？base students’ assessment on experience么？我觉得这篇文章的重点还是应该用来说明fact和ability的关系你用了这么大段的篇幅来说这个experience的重要性似乎有点beg the question.如果你想用的话可能就放在最后一段散的时候说两句。这是我的个人意见哈~
1.这篇文章语法错误有点多••而且有的地方汉化思维很明显•••
2.文章的论述结构是这样的：沉迷于事实会阻碍发展；基础知识（facts）的掌握也很重要；应该关注experience。根据这个逻辑的话我觉得是不是两段的位置换一下比较好？我们应该要掌握基础知识；尽管如此，却不能沉迷，否则会阻碍发展。是这意思吗？我总感觉你正文手第一段的论述不够充分，有点混乱，不知道你到底是要说沉迷于事实会阻碍发展（因为所谓的事实总是不完美的）还是说是ability带来了进步•••

个人意见仅供参考哈~要是觉得有说的不对的地方可以和我讨论~

winterfineUID: 3141531

50. An ancient, traditional remedy for insomnia—the scent of lavender flowers—has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored electronically. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. At the beginning of the second week, the volunteers discontinued their sleeping medication. During that week, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. Therefore, the study proves that lavender cures insomnia within a short period of time.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.


Although it can be understand that why people want to find a new cure to insomnia, researches should not be satisfied by a hasty conclusion drawn upon incomplete experimental records. Moreover, to strengthen the results, more evidence is needed to rule out other factors may influence the patients' sleeping.

The conclusion of the research that lavender cures insomnia is based on the assumed significant improvement of volunteers' sleeping according to the researchers' observation. However, with one crucial piece of evidence missing, the statement of the patients, this conclusion is dubious at best. It is possible that although their sleep appeared longer and more soundly, they might in fact feel even more tired than the first two weeks, which proves the worsened sleeping quality. What is more, perhaps the tiredness is accompanied with headaches indicating the side-effect of the unconfirmed remedy. To complete this study, the volunteers' feeling needs to be recorded, and a comparison between how they felt personally and what has been observed by others is preferred when explaining the true effect of the flower.

Even if patients' sleeping condition was getting better, the author still needs to rule out other possibilities which may contribute to such improvements. It is said that volunteers ceased their usual medication in second week, which then led to the most tiring week. As a result, it seemed natural to me that they slept longer in the following week considering even healthy people react in the same way to compensate for the lacking sleep. What is more, the placebo effect is not to be neglected, what was actually helping with the chronic insomnia may not be the flower. To demonstrate the indispensible role lavender is playing, it is advised that some of the volunteers be provided pillows sprayed perfume with similar smell. The conclusion will be convincing if only the individuals given lavender-scented pillow is improved.

Provided that the success is attributed to the magical flower only, more evidence is required to overcome other explanations weakening credibility of the study. The study lasted for 3 weeks, and the lavender-scented pillow was introduced in the last week. No further investigation into their sleeping condition has been made after the research when they came back home and again begun to sleep with normal pillows. Maybe their symptoms came back. If so, it at least shows that the cure requires a longer period than anticipated. On the other hand, insomnia may be a consequence of many diseases, each represents a totally different situation facing the patients as well as the doctors. Even the traditional remedy is a cure, possibly, it is capable of dealing with just a limited number of reasons. By inviting only 30 volunteers, the author is unfairly assuming that they represent all possibilities. To strengthen this study, evidence concerning the improving of more people with different sorts of insomnia is expected.

ashtray_sUID: 3008202

Although it can be understand（understood） that (去掉)why people want to find a new cure to insomnia, researches should not be satisfied by a hasty conclusion drawn upon incomplete experimental records. Moreover, to strengthen the results, more evidence is needed to rule out other factors may influence the patients' sleeping.

The conclusion of the research that lavender cures insomnia is based on the assumed significant improvement of volunteers' sleeping according to the researchers' observation. However, with one crucial piece of evidence missing, the statement of the patients, this conclusion is dubious at best. It is possible that although their sleep appeared longer and more soundly, they might in fact feel even more tired than the first two weeks, which proves the worsened sleeping quality. What is more, perhaps the tiredness is accompanied with headaches indicating the side-effect of the unconfirmed remedy. To complete this study, the volunteers' feeling needs to be recorded, and a comparison between how they felt personally and what has been observed by others is preferred when explaining the true effect of the flower.（这个comparison没明白是什么意思）
Even if patients' sleeping condition was getting better, the author still needs to rule out other possibilities which may contribute to such improvements. It is said that volunteers ceased their usual medication in second week, which then led to the most tiring week.（他们第二周的tiredness是因为停药导致的么？） As a result, it seemed natural to me that they slept longer in the following week considering even healthy people react in the same way to compensate for the lacking sleep（lack of sleep或者lacking in sleep）. What is more, the placebo effect is not to be neglected, what was actually helping with the chronic insomnia may not be the flower. To demonstrate the indispensible role lavender is playing, it is advised that some of the volunteers be provided （with）pillows sprayed perfume with similar smell. The conclusion will be convincing if only the individuals given lavender-scented pillow is improved.

Provided that the success is attributed to the magical flower only, more evidence is required to overcome other explanations weakening credibility of the study. The study lasted for 3 weeks, and the lavender-scented pillow was introduced in the last week(那枕头不是第一周就开始用了么••). No further investigation into their sleeping condition has been made after the research when they came back home and again begun to sleep with normal pillows. Maybe their symptoms came back. If so, it at least shows that the cure requires a longer period than anticipated. On the other hand, insomnia may be a consequence of many diseases, each represents a totally different situation facing the patients as well as the doctors. Even the traditional remedy is a cure, possibly, it is capable of dealing with just a limited number of reasons（causes）. By inviting only 30 volunteers, the author is unfairly assuming that they represent all possibilities. To strengthen this study, evidence concerning the improving（improvement） of more people with different sorts of insomnia is expected.
论证很清晰~不过，这是没有结尾么••