求作文拍砖！925要考了，想25+，极度紧张中……

cynthia-yangUID: 2708847

Working at home using computers and telephonesis better than working in the office.Nowadays the new pattern of working raisesa lot of debates. Some people support the classical idea that people should beobligated to go to the company to do their jobs. However, another group ofpeople believe that working at home using computers and telephones is a betterchoice. As far as I’m concerned, the new working pattern at home is definitelymore practical than the old one for the following reasons.

No issue is important than this one that workingat home will promote the efficiency most for workers. Especially in big cities,the transportation’s congest problem is very fiercely, many people have to giveup a lot of time to relax at home to catch buses or ride cars much earlier thanthe beginning of working time. Even though, they are often late to office andit will be a worse effect on their working performances. For instance, my unclein Beijing did a job where far away from his home, thus he had to get upearlier than others in the morning and did not have breakfast, yet eventuallyhe got ill and then left the company with a pity.

Other chief reason I want to state here isworking at home always gives workers more spaces to express their creativitiesand efficiencies. For different people has their different habits on working,if a person do not like to sleep early in the evening, the next day’s arrivingtime must let him feel sleepy and uncomfortable. For example, my sister is aneditor in a newspaper press, her company do not require them to go to theoffice everyday but give them a task to finish in a period, thus she couldchose to go out to travel and maybe in the process of visiting, the inspirationblurt out and let her become productive on her working.

But all the above doesn’t mean that we canturn a blind eye to the negative effect of working at home. Because it is not apattern of working face to face, the communication’s effect may not be as goodas what they did in the company. Moreover, working alone may make workersunknown to others’ work, which is not good for a group working task.

To sum up, given reasons discussed above,we can safely reach the conclusion that working at home is better than workingin the company. In fact, not only do I prefer to work at home, but also preferto work at home as much as possible.

cynthia-yangUID: 2708847

为什么没有高人指点？~~~~(>_<)~~~~

liuyuxinxinUID: 2673031

2# cynthia-yang 文章一共5段 很经典开头写的很清晰，不错第二段，除了第一句，整段都在论述去公司会浪费时间以及种种后果，包括例子，和身为第一句的论点距离有点大，要么把论点改为上班会浪费更多时间，要么在论证的过程中加上一句“因时间浪费在路上，工作者的精力和时间收到一定程度影响，不如直接在家安静的工作来的更有效率” 第三段，你的论点是creative和efficient，既然你and了，就要都论证到，然而c却没见你论证，e的论证与第二段重复，根据你的论证论述，把e换成工作人的工作习惯，是不是更贴切第四段，你是用的让步对吧，很不错啊，不过最后最好还是在段尾的地方把论点切回来 比较好啊！！在后面加上，但是随着科技的进步，我们也可以在家视频会议啊啥的~有什么需要的就讨论，这样也节省了时间嘛。 上述仅代表个人想法啊~可能有点狠批，但真的不错，加油，注意细节论证~不是只有例子和论点就行了的，得联得上。

cynthia-yangUID: 2708847

3# liuyuxinxin 谢谢大侠，哈哈~现在根本不怕狠拍，拍的越狠越好，呵呵~