argument1我的第一篇

璐冰雪儿UID: 3156913

这是我写的第一篇argument，有些话语套用了网上的模板，字数大概370左右，不知道够不够新GRE的字数标准，希望网友们看到的能多多指教，小女子感激不已。
题目：Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have
previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric
village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by
the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a
‘Palean’ basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from
Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans
could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found.
Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely
Palean.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is
needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would
weaken or strengthen the argument
在下拙作：In this argument,the author cites a variety of evidence that Lithos is an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea, and the Palean people can reach the village only by boat, and no boats have been found. So the "Palean" basket which discovered in Lithos could be made by non-Palean people.However, we cannot accept the conclusion that Paleans have no means of transporting one of their baskets to other regions.
  The author assumes that the Palean people have never been to Lithos for the reason that there is no evidence that the ancient Palean people have boats to cross the river.It is possible that there once had some small boats for people to across the river but the archaeologists have not been found yet. If the author can provide strong evidence to explain that in Palean time there are no boats definitely, the argument will be more persuasive.
  The author fails to consider the possibility that the Palean basket could arrive to Lithos through many other methods.Maybe the river in Palean times are not as so deep and broad as it is currently. And the author mention that there is only one basket discovered in Lithos. So maybe the basket can float on the river and move to Lithos by itself, or the Palean people can swim across the river to Lithos village which have been found only in the immediate vicinity of the village of Palea. Until the author provides further evidence to exclude all the concerns, it is unfounded to reach the conclusion involved in the argument.
  Even if the evidence turns out to support the foregoing assumptions,the author simply assumes that the Palean basket must be appeared in the Pelean times. It is much more possible that other people who are no Pelean people go to the Lithos and bring the basket to them, or the posterity in Lithos could learn from the Pelean people when they could across the river. So the author should provide compelling evidence to affirm this assumptions.
  To sum up, if the author consider the given factors and provide convincing evidence, the argument will be more credibility and logically acceptable.

zyt3312515UID: 2938982

1、字数不够，得500左右。
2、题目中的原句子在第一段中重复过多，并且没有没有负面评价，这两点都是致命的！
3、字数分配不合理，第一段最好100字，剩下主体段落最好120-150字，每一段有字数要求！