issue98

linlinUID: 137589

5."Colleges and universities should offer more courses on popular music, film, advertising, and television because contemporary culture has much greater relevance for students than do arts and literature of the past."

观点：反映了现代文化的艺术和过去的文学艺术对学生是同等重要的;
(1)古典艺术，尤其是古典文学对现代学生有很大的启迪作用;
(2)古典艺术还有其他的一些优点;
(3)However，现代的文化艺术对学生有积极的作用。

The author asserts that student can be more benefit from the courses about modern arts than those about classical literature. Admittedly I concede the author’s remarks modern-arts’ relevance to contemporary culture may raise our young's acknowledgement of society, nevertheless, in my view, arts and literature from the past also plays an instructive and indispensable role to those premature. In the following paragraph, I will present evidence to support my conclusion.

The major reason for my propensity is that the classical literature can enlighten students insofar as it is including some instruction, which deserves carefully analysis. Those arts and literature from the past have been embraced for so long, because it can provide both a legend story and a vividly introduction of people's ordinary life. We can absorb from those literature contemporary culture and even the thinking and ideas based on the foundation of this culture. For example, From Homer' Odyssey, we know what is "life-as-special", from Shakespeare' Hamlet, we know how crude the statute in medieval is, and from lots of books about Second World War we are aware of how rare peace in the world is. On the contrary, in modern arts such as films, although there are many outstanding movies with deeply instruction, we can not deny that the aesthetic value of most of the films nowadays are less valuable than those old literature because of the reason listed below. Influenced by the economical interests, many company prefer to cater to their customer by imposing more marvelous scenes and invite famous movie star rather than enhance the aesthetic value. As a consequence, nowadays the films’ importance for instruction is greatly undermined. Thus, concerning the reasons presented above, I prefer to lay enough stress to the importance of classical literature.

Furthermore, my preference is also support by another factor that old literature contributes to such ability as writing and thinking. In the era of increasingly social development and specialization, inspire of the presence of some high technology such as computer and typewriter; no new invention can take the place of thinking and writing. The best way to improve student's writing and thinking skill is to widely browse instructive literature, and old literature is a proper choice. We can absorb from those literatures a lot of merit such as their structure, the way to depict objects, and also some meaningful ideas, which would be a great improvement to our writing and thinking. Therefore, from this example I present, my choice given before will be strengthened.

Admittedly, as a modern man, one should be familiar with the society and culture in which he is involved. And modern arts such as movie and pop music provide a chance for our young to get in touch. For example, lots young student are devoted to pop music. Those young each other can transcend ideas and make friends by communicating their feels about favorite music and singing together. And in the respect of film, even though I assert that films' aesthetic value is reduced because of the reasons above, it cannot prevent us from attaining social intendance and value system. Consequently our students always with little experience will achieve their first step to get familiar with our society then. Thus it is undeniable that modern arts are also instructive to some degree.

To sum up, modern arts and literature from the past respectly have their merit and are both considered to be instructive to some degree. Therefore we cannot neglect either of them.

ken0405UID: 124994

No.1 各位帮小弟看一篇菜文^_^
5."Colleges and universities should offer more courses on popular music, film, advertising, and television because contemporary culture has much greater relevance for students than do arts and literature of the past."

观点：反映了现代文化的艺术和过去的文学艺术对学生是同等重要的;
(1)古典艺术，尤其是古典文学对现代学生有很大的启迪作用;
(2)古典艺术还有其他的一些优点;
(3)However，现代的文化艺术对学生有积极的作用。

The author asserts that student can be more benefit from the courses about modern arts than those about classical literature. Admittedly I concede the author’s remarks modern-arts’ relevance to contemporary culture may raise our young's acknowledgement of society, nevertheless, in my view, arts and literature from the past also plays an instructive and indispensable role to those premature. In the following paragraph, I will present evidence to support my conclusion.最后一句多余！

The major reason for my propensity is that the classical literature can enlighten students insofar as it is including some instruction, which deserves carefully analysis. Those arts and literature from the past have been embraced for so long, because it can provide both a legend story and a vividly introduction of people's ordinary life. We can absorb from those literature contemporary culture and even the thinking and ideas based on the foundation of this culture. For example, From Homer' Odyssey, we know what is "life-as-special", from Shakespeare' Hamlet, we know how crude the statute in medieval is, and from lots of books about Second World War we are aware of how rare peace in the world is. 前面好，再多一些，convey some abstract concepts, such as love, freedom, 希腊神化咯，等等。你这后面的可以另起一段On the contrary, in modern arts such as films, although there are many outstanding movies with deeply instruction, we can not deny that the aesthetic value of most of the films nowadays are less valuable than those old literature because of the reason listed below. Influenced by the economical interests,（这是好观点，好观点，发掘一下） many company prefer to cater to their customer by imposing more marvelous scenes and invite famous movie star rather than enhance the aesthetic value. As a consequence, nowadays the films’ importance for instruction is greatly undermined. Thus, concerning the reasons presented above, I prefer to lay enough stress to the importance of classical literature.

Furthermore, my preference is also support by another factor that old literature contributes to such ability as writing and thinking.（imaginative thinking） In the era of increasingly social development and specialization, inspire of the presence of some high technology such as computer and typewriter; no new invention can take the place of thinking and writing. The best way to improve student's writing and thinking skill is to widely browse instructive literature, and old literature is a proper choice. We can absorb from those literatures a lot of merit such as their structure, the way to depict objects, and also some meaningful ideas, which would be a great improvement to our writing and thinking. Therefore, from this example I present, my choice given before will be strengthened.通过学习古典文学可以学习前人的思想。
最后的转折，是不是不太好？我个人不认为新东方那套是对的。你看看范文吧（280片那个，好象很少有这样的）
Admittedly, as a modern man, one should be familiar with the society and culture in which he is involved. And modern arts such as movie and pop music provide a chance for our young to get in touch. For example, lots young student are devoted to pop music. Those young each other can transcend ideas and make friends by communicating their feels about favorite music and singing together. （cross-cultural communication） And in the respect of film, even though I assert that films' aesthetic value is reduced because of the reasons above, it cannot prevent us from attaining social intendance and value system. Consequently our students always with little experience will achieve their first step to get familiar with our society then. Thus it is undeniable that modern arts are also instructive to some degree.这段把支持的语气再落一些，就说不可以ignore就好了呀，不要over-emphasis on古典文学就好了。
结构清楚，好，逻辑比较clear，好！

To sum up, modern arts and literature from the past respectly have their merit and are both considered to be instructive to some degree. Therefore we cannot neglect either of them.
No23

linlinUID: 137589

呵呵，谢谢ken0405出手向助。

ken0405UID: 124994

不要轻飘飘一句，谢谢
看看有什么地方改的不对的
请指出。
大家一起前进。

linlinUID: 137589

呵呵……
你是说倒数第2段的让步转折不好，我分析了一下280片（实际是120片I）。我认为对于这种其强派的文章类型，需要把两方面的观点都摆出来。280片的文章有很多采用大正小副或相反的观点。如我们支持A然后列出123……，最后用一段让步写B的好处（一段）。
不知道我说的对不对？

ken0405UID: 124994

在我的影响里
280里
一般都是
第3段反驳对方观点。
结构如下：
the critics of my view may argue that
However, （重点在这里）
个人意见
希望你考好