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[求助] 第二篇独立写作求批改----08年11月22日 [复制链接]

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发表于 2011-11-29 21:30:23 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 TonyLic 于 2011-11-29 21:32 编辑

首先问个大思路的问题, 是不是托福独立写作的主旨用balance的比较好???我有点拿不准这个。

第一篇写了一个比较绝对的,但感觉写出来自己都不能说服,看了范文也是balance观点,所以这篇是比较balance的观点,求各位指点。

当然,对于帮助我的同学,我肯定会互改的,以前在GRE写作我也搞过的哈。



Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Studentsare more influenced by their teachers than by their friends.

Generally, I partially agree with thisstatement. In my view, students spend many times with their teachers andfriends in school. So they may be influenced by both of them. Which one--theirteachers or friends, have more influence depend on different situation anddifferent individuals.

As is well known to us all, theresponsibility of the teacher is to teach knowledge to the student as well ashelp student develop good personality. In other word, teacher is theinstructor. It is safe to say that student surely have influenced by theirteachers when they receive something such as knowledge from their teachers. Forexample, I have been influenced by my physics teacher who stimulated myinterest in physics because I was influenced by his physics class, in which Ireceive influence there.

On the other hand, each student may havetheir good friends who can be shared with joy and pain. So they must beinfluenced by their friends. Compared to the teacher, I think the friends arecompanions for students. When we communicate with our friends or ask help fromour friends or give suggestion to our friends, we are influenced by them orinfluence them. It's a mutual way. Take my best friend Jack for example, whenwe were middle school student we always talk with each other about the problemin study or in life. At last, I found that we two have more and more commonqualities such as kind-hearted, brave and so on. Therefore this exampleillustrates the influence between friends is mutually existed and is alsoimportant.

Moreover, in fact different people may havedifferent result when they face the same influence. Some people who have strongpersonal characteristic may be less influenced by others than people who preferto agree with other's opinion.

In conclusion, I think it is inadvisable tosimply say that teachers may have more influence on students than their friendsdo because the influence from teachers is not exactly same with that fromfriends and different people may have different reactions too. Therefore, theanalysis should base on a more specific situation.

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发表于 2011-11-30 18:59:48 |显示全部楼层
顶,求帮助

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发表于 2011-12-3 22:17:13 |显示全部楼层
我都用balance。。。
天天向上 向上

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RE: 第二篇独立写作求批改----08年11月22日 [修改]

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第二篇独立写作求批改----08年11月22日
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