求各位高手指点

hanluandamericaUID: 3181250

最近在练作文呢，写了一篇也不知道能的多少分，主要缺陷在哪里，请求各位火眼精金给看看！大恩不言谢！
title：
do u agree or disagree with the following statement?
Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship
我的文章：
   Opinions about always telling the truth in any relationship differs. Some think it necessary to always be honest while others think that lies are sometimes permitted.
    For me, I strongly think that always telling the truths is the most important thing in any relationship. Firstly, you may think a lie sometimes makes you breathe a relief in the highly tense daily routine. For example, you may skip a day of work just telling the boss that you've caught a cold. And you think that is the whole thing. That, however, is not the case. When you come back to work and face your collogues' inquiries about your health condition, you would have to make up more details to your lie about how your noses were running and how heavy your head felt and what medicines you took, etc, which is really energyconsuming.  A single word may give yourself away. On the contrary, it would be much different if you just confess that you are tired of work and simply want some light work and leave earlier.
     Secondly,  you may think that since occasional lies in a relationship doesn't hurt anybody, so it doesn't matter. But as a matter of fact, once you start telling lies and making excuses for that wrongdoing, it would be hard to stop. Once there seems to be some difficulty occurring in a relationship that entails confession, you would lie. As time marches on, your partner would feel that and also he becomes less loyal to the relationship, too. On this account, only by telling the truth can help you find the problems of a relationship and better deal with it, only by the nurturing of honesty and loyalty can a relationship endure over time.
     In conclusion, being honest and always telling the truth should really be prioritized for the final sake of the relationships and people engaged in them as well.

PKU_IMEUID: 3220165

语言上来说问题不大，有一点你该注意一下就是语言重复比较严重，特别重复第二人称的句子我认为欠妥，举例子的方式我认为你可以尝试换个方式。
逻辑方面一个问题是两个观点不是特别明确，应该在每一段最一开始就把观点表明。

hanluandamericaUID: 3181250

恩恩，很有道理谢谢指点。
嘻嘻又改了一下，您过目！但是有个问题，就是我觉得我的两个观点都是从撒谎不会让你觉得轻松，
撒谎会伤害到任何关系来讲的，没有提到说telling the truth 正面的好处。
这样从反面论述会不会丢分哪！
    Opinions about always telling the truth in any relationship differs. Some think it necessary to always be honest while others think that lies are sometimes permitted.
    For me, I strongly think that always telling the truths is the most important thing in any relationship.
    Firstly, a lie is always not the end. Once someone tells a lie, he needs to continue to tell more lies. And he can nerver feel the relief he expects originally by lying. For example, one may skip a day of work just telling the boss that he has caught a cold. And he thinks that is the whole thing. That, however, is not the case. When he comes back to work and faces his colleagues' inquiries about the health condition, he would have to make up more details  about how his noses were running and how heavy his head felt and what medicines he took, etc, which can be really energy-consuming. A single word or unnatural expression may give him away. On the contrary, it would be much different if he just confesses to his boss that he is tired of work and simply wants some light work and leaves earlier.  
     Secondly, lies gradually damage relationships. You may think that since occasional lies in a relationship don't hurt anybody, so it doesn't matter. But as a matter of fact, once you start telling lies and making excuses for that wrongdoing, it would be hard to stop. As long as there seems to be some difficulty occurring in a relationship that entails genuine communication, you would lie instead. As time marches on, your partner would feel that and also he becomes less loyal to the relationship, too. And a deteriorating relationship would result. In every turns and twists of a relationship, telling the truth is the most rudimentary rule one needs to obey.
     In conclusion, being honest and always telling the truth should really be prioritized for the final sake of the relationships and people engaged in them as well.