1.31

lovely_hippo123UID: 3209964

TPO13 综合写作

lovely_hippo123UID: 3209964

2.2 独立-Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems affecting our society today could be solved within our lifetime.

With the striking booming of human technology, more and more scholars stand out and predict that the most important problem which have influenced on our society could be solved within our lifetime. However, as I see it, it is jump to conclusion too quickly.

Actually, many advancements which predicted in the past decades have been achieved, like the development clone technology, the man touched down the moon, the increasing popularity of computers and internet. Nevertheless there still have many problems cannot be reach now. I would like to take environment problem for example, nowadays, many country have to make a balance between environmental protection and economic development, while many of them choose the latter without hastate for private reasons, also the environmental problem is hard to handle in a short period of time especially during one’s lifetime, since the problem come from hundred years and many reasons, like the occasional oil spill in the ocean, waste water and gas from industry which have accumulated for many years and people’s daily life, white trash produced by human being and so forth. Even thought people are now start to disposal this problem, it almost impossible to handle all of these rubbish, still much trash have being produced now.

What’s more? The problems of resources, which are most important issue in the modern time, have troubled people for many years. As universally known that resources mean too much, contain the advancement of technology, economic, living condition of civil and even civilization. In other word, resource is to a country just as the food to our people. Yet people have not found appropriate substitution to replace limited resource as petroleum and coal, what’s worse, the amount of these resource keep declining and hard to follow the increasing demand of these resources. In addition, people have carried a research in this field for decades, and the possible substitution like wind, sunlight, and sea energy are all lack of efficiency. Then it is hard to say that the energy problem can be solved in our lifetime.

Therefore, based on above discussion, I feel safe to make conclusion that it is due to the difficult and the time-consuming that many important problem like environment and resources substitution still cannot be resolve in the next decades.

nicholaseUID: 2859724

With the striking booming of human technology, more and more scholars stand out and predict that the most important problems which have influenced on 去掉（这里最好不要用完成时，建议改成which influence..或者which have a significant influence on）our society and could be solved within our lifetime（这句话和上面那句都是用来修饰problems的，是并列的）. However, as I see it, it is jump(是不是应该改成一般现在时？) to conclusion too quickly.) B' N3 T+ E$ @$ ~5 [# {, q$ O# E
2 [0 W) w( m% n) S0 V& B4
Actually, many advancements which predicted in the past decades have been achieved, like the development clone technology, the man touched down the moon, the increasing popularity of computers and internet. Nevertheless there still have many problems cannot be reach（改成reached?） now. I would like to take environment problem for example, nowadays, many country countries have to make a balance between environmental protection and economic development, while many of them choose the latter without hastate for private reasons, also the environmental problem is hard to handle in a short period of time especially during one’s lifetime（这个问题很难在短时间内解决，特别是在人的一生中？？这个说法怎么感觉怪怪的）, since the problem comes from hundreds of years and many reasons, like the occasional oil spill in the ocean, waste water and gas from industry which have accumulated for many years and people’s daily life, white trash produced by human beings and so forth(感觉and so on 用的频率大，建议在文章中先用频率大的，当二次要用到这个意思的时候再用频率小的). Even thought people are去掉 now start to disposal this problem, it is almost impossible to handle all of these rubbish, still much trash have being produced now.% c3 o9 U  u- b+ m7 I- @" c3 t
% Q; |  _- d$ X" Y( I+
What’s more? The problems of resources, which are most important issues in the modern time, have troubled people for many years. As universally known that resources mean too much, containing the advancement of technology, economic, living condition of civil and even civilization. In other words, resource is to a country just as the food to our people. Yet people have not found appropriate substitution to replace limited resource as petroleum and coal, what’s worse（even worse）, the amount of these resource keeps declining and hard to follow the increasing demand of these resources. In addition, people have carried a research in this field for decades, and the possible substitution like wind, sunlight, and sea energy are all lack of efficiency. Then it is hard to say that the energy problem can be solved in our lifetime.4 `, T5 w0 C. F# d/
% }2 Y$ ]- Q& {' L5 KTherefore, based on above discussion, I feel safe to make conclusion that it is due to the difficulty and the time-consuming that many important problems like environment and resources substitution still cannot be resolved in the next(following) decades.

感觉这篇文章硬生生用了很多模板上的东西；语法还有待加强；
刚开始练习托福写作吧？建议找20篇文章，五篇左右用来入门，字数300，结构完整，时间不限；5篇左右用来提高，350字以上，结构完整，一小时之内完成，写完之后努力修改；最后10篇左右，400字以上，半小时之内完成，结构完成。我刚开始练的时候也是每篇文章要用很多时间，今天本打算30分钟写400字以上，但时间不够，只好赶紧结尾。速度神马的多练练会上去的。
我觉得你英语功底还不错，潜力无限，加油！

wqr619UID: 3007621

2.2 独立-Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems affecting our society today could be solved within our lifetime.
`3 W8 l% q. J5 X
With the striking booming(boom) of human technology, more and more scholars stand out and predict that the most important problem which have influenced on(去on) our society could be solved within our lifetime. However, as I see it, it is jump to conclusion too quickly(建议在开头段再着重讲一下论点，这句只能是反驳）.! L8 t. r2 d. |1 C( X

Actually, many advancements which（去which） predicted in the past decades have been achieved, like the development（+of the） clone technology, the man touched down(建议用landed) the moon, the increasing popularity of computers and internet. Nevertheless there still have(there are still) many problems cannot be reach(reached) now. I would like to take environment problem for example, nowadays, many country have to make a balance between environmental protection and economic development, while many of them choose the latter without hastate for private reasons(private reason有隐私的感觉，最好是for private interests) , also the environmental problem is hard to handle in a short period of time especially during one’s lifetime, since the problem come from hundred years and many reasons, like the occasional oil spill in the ocean, waste water and gas from industry which have accumulated for many years and people’s daily life, white trash produced by human being and so forth. Even thought people are now start to disposal（建议用deal with） this problem, it (+is)almost impossible to handle all of these rubbish, still much trash have being produced now.- u# n) y1 P7 x+ Y+ K, {( h

What’s more? The problems of resources, which are(is the) most important issue in the modern time, have troubled people for many years. As universally known that resources mean too much, contain（建议concerning） the advancement of technology, economic, living condition of civil and even civilization. In other word, resource is to a country just as the food （is）to our people. (好句，学到了）Yet people have not found appropriate substitution to replace limited resource as petroleum and coal, what’s worse, the amount of these resource keep declining and hard to follow the increasing demand of these resources.(好句） In addition, people have carried a research in this field for decades, and the possible substitution like wind, sunlight, and sea energy are all lack of efficiency（lacking efficiency）. Then it is hard to say that the energy problem can be solved in our lifetime.- s! ~9 Y2 V- p6 _, C+ ]) `

Therefore, based on above discussion, I feel safe to make conclusion that it is due to the difficult and the time-consuming(+situation考虑到due to后接名词) that many important problem（s） like environment and resources substitution still cannot be resolve(d) in the next decades.（学到了）

楼主的文章结构很好~~水平有限，只能改几个语法错误~~
几处用词，句子很亮，减少低级语法错误，可以让这些地方更亮！

lovely_hippo123UID: 3209964

谢谢nicholase
1.呜呜，我确实用了模板的，而且我还以为很隐蔽。。唉。
开头的建议很受用!
嗯，下一次把模板换成内容--艰巨。。。
2. so forth(感觉and so on 用的频率大，建议在文章中先用频率大的，当二次要用到这个意思的时候再用频率小的).为什么要用频率大的呢?   我下次试试看啊..
唉，加油加油。。。 3# nicholase
3这个好，我自己写的时候就是没办法，要多练--.in the next(following) decades--
一起加油！

lovely_hippo123UID: 3209964

谢谢蹲着的猫)啦 呜呜
嗯嗯， 开头确实要重新来过。。。 4# wqr619
2.the man touched down(建议用landed) the moon--这个好，touch down 是有道上偷的，学到了
3.我的软肋--there still have(there are still)
4.reasons(private reason有隐私的感觉，最好是for private interests) --有道理啊。
5.这也是写的时候想不出来的，嗯嗯-contain（建议concerning）
6.due to 后面加名词，我记下了。。。
狠受用，一起学习。。谢谢你。。。

idealibtUID: 2667256

lovely_hippo123.doc (36 KB, 下载次数: 7)

2012-2-3 11:07:28 上传

下载次数: 7

fyi

lovely_hippo123UID: 3209964

谢谢，idealibt(想乖)
语法啊，我的软肋啊。。。
你改的真的很好，看到了一堆语法错误。。。
很仔细，很受用，
1.

many advancements which were predicted in the past decades 这were 我是真的不太会用。。
2.这里是like后面的宾语，而the man touched是一个独立的句子结构，应该改为动词ing形式吧)--这个真的忘记了。
3.there still have （there be 和 have冲突了）--嗯嗯 There be 记住了
4.for private reasons (主体是国家，国家出于一些private的原因，感觉private不太贴切呢)--我决定用for their sake或for interest reasons2.
5.我想起来，我昨天去一牛人那里偷了一个句子，as long as we human being exist, the environmental pollution will continue..7# idealibt

收获很多啊。。。加油加油/

Sudden2012UID: 2856328

2月2日 独立 改好了，加油哈！

lovely_hippo123UID: 3209964

谢谢蜗牛， 两个意见都很好。。开头啊。。。真的要改了。。。，确实要开始头脑风暴了，观点不够多。。。 9# Sudden2012

lovely_hippo123UID: 3209964

2.3-110815NA one of your classmates needs help with some schoolwork. Which solution would you recommend your classmate should do: to ask you for help or to find a professional tutor for help. Include reasons and details to in your response

It is undeniable that we may suffer from many difficult problems in the process of doing our homework, and we tend to ask different people for help, like professor or classmate. Then if one of my classmates encounters some obstacle in his\her schoolwork, I will definitely recommend him\her accept my help first for certain reason.

First and foremost, actually professors are also knowledgeable, the knowledge that they convey always thoroughly and correctly, however that does not necessarily mean that they are the best person we seek for when we needs help. For one thing, professors are also very busy since they have many things to handle during a day like researches, teaching, preparing for classes, doing reports and so on. And many questions of the schoolwork do not only time-consuming but also can be solved with the help of other classmates. For another thing, many professors cannot understand our difficult, since many problems we confront are also too easy for them, and then it is hard for them to explain in an easier way. I would like to take my own experience for example, it is hard for me to follow my teacher when I begin in learning C language, since that each time I ask her for help, she would told me that it is the fact without any reason.

Later on, classmates, however, may do good help in these situations instead. Since the problems which confuse my classmate may just the one I have solution. Even if I do not know either, we can learn together and make a discussion and resolve it together. As a result, we will have a deep understanding of the solution when we work it out by ourselves, also avoiding making any unnecessarily disturbance to our professors, in addition it can also cultivate our own ability to solve problem by ourselves and knowing more about teamwork which is very important for us. What’s more, it is never too late for us to ask professor for help when we find out that it is too hard to settle.

Therefore, if the problem we encounter can be solved with the help of our classmate, we should not always ask our professors for help, since it is beneficial for us to make a discussion first. So if one of my classmates needs help, I would definitely suggest him\her to ask me first.

clh6389UID: 2676531

11# lovely_hippo123 俺是路人 不过觉得这篇写的很好 加油

lovely_hippo123UID: 3209964

2.4-综合The reading passage indicate that "let it burn “policy should be replaced since it really do severe harm to forest, and he also take an example that severe damage have caused by fires in Yellowstone in 1988 . However, lecturer disagree with such suggestion that fire actually plan an important role in the eco-system circle of forest, the fire happen in Yellowstone is creative for certain reasons

First and foremost, according to the lecturer after the fire of Yellowstone in 1988, there are replaced by many new plant, the fire provide many opportunity to the new plant which cannot survive ever, and lecturer also give two example to support his standpoint, first many smaller species which cannot exposed in high level are now multiplied. and this opinion conflict with the statement that  many tree died out and many smaller tree being incinerated.

Second, the professor further point out that fire let the forest more suitable for certain species such as web and bare, and eventually contribute to the development other animals which feed on these animals. On the contrary, the fire make the destruction of habitats and food chain finally make it little possible for animals to survived

Last but not least, lecturer disagree with the opinion that fire can make an negative effect on the tourist attraction, since although the fire make the forest messy but visitor can go Yellowstone next year and each years after the fire.

wqr619UID: 3007621

写得真好~~~欢迎拍砖~~~

lovely_hippo123UID: 3209964

谢谢 14# wqr619
语法是我的薄弱项Since the problems which confuse my classmate may just
be the one I have solution to.学到了！