【Daily Writing作文特训小组】紫梦于的作业帖

紫梦于UID: 3232379

1楼留给感想吧

谢谢idealibt(想乖)的remind~与君共勉！

【Remind】
修改作文的时候注意：
1. 尝试替换某个词汇
2. 尝试替换某个句型
3. 尝试替换某个例子
4. 尝试换一种说法
5. 尝试表述对立的观点
--在改自己的作文的时候往往思路比较单一和固定，很难有变化，以上运用可以在批改/参阅别人的习作时运用
【Remind】不确定的时候 一定要动手查词典，并记住/运用

紫梦于UID: 3232379

2月6日独立101009NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People can take care of their family members better when they livein big cities than in the countryside.

Towards this question, people’s opinions definitely vary from person to person. But relatively speaking, I agree with the statement that people can take care of their family members better when they live in big cities than in the countryside, for settlers in big cities obtain better medical conditions, convenient transportation and various choices for job which are all absolutely necessary for people to take care of their family members. The specific reasons are as follows.

First of all, Better medical conditions are available in big cities. It’s common sense that human beings can’t avoid getting ill at all times as long as they are alive, so hospitals and medicine stores are severely important. Imagine that your family live in the countryside. One day your child catches a bad flu and the temperature of her body gets higher and higher, but the closest hospital is so far away that it should take hours for you to get there even by car, how is your feeling then? What about living in big cities? You can just call the hospital and the doctor will arrive within only 5 minutes! Let alone the following thorough medical care. Obviously it’s easier for your child to recover as soon as possible. Another reason is that skillful doctors are more likely to stay in big hospitals in big cities than in the countryside, resulted from which your family have more chance to get proper treatment in big cities.

Secondly, there are a large number of supermarkets and shopping malls in big cities, followed by a wide variety of goods thanks to convenient transportation. But people living in the countryside are not that fortunate. For instance, when they were young, my grandparents lived in the countryside where only one store exited, supplying only bad basic commodities. If they wanted a soap, they had to wake up 5 o’clock in the morning, climb several mountains and arrive at the nearest town to buy it. But in big cities, you can simply take a walk to a supermarket with your family after dinner and use the same time considering which brand of soap is better. In addition, convenient transportation allows you to take your family to where they want to, from amusement parks to museums, to enjoy yourselves at weekends. In countryside? Just stay at home and watch TV!

The last but not least, big cities provide you with numerous opportunities to earn living and more promising future in your career life. As we all know, money is always important, almost the most important in contemporary society, because it seems that you can satisfy your family’s every request by money. So why don’t you choose to stay in big cities rather than the countryside?

However, it’s not all perfect to live in big cities. You may be stuck in a traffic jam every workday or the work pressure is so high that sometimes impossible for you to bear. But compared with all the benefits it brings to you and your family, living in big cities is unquestionably the best choice.

第一次写托的作文，大家尽情给意见啦~
顺便帮我看看大概作文能得多少分吧，让我心里有个数，好继续努力~
谢谢啦~

紫梦于UID: 3232379

2月6日综合 TPO 20
The lecturer disagrees with the idea expresses in the passage. In her opinion, "let it burn" policy is beneficial because the fire is more creative than destructive.

First of all, for vegetation. The lecturer argues that after the fire, diverse plants begin to grow in that area. For example, little plants can thrive at the place where large plants obtain before the fire. This directly contradicts the point made by the passage that fire is damage to vegetation.

Secondly, the lecturer points out it's also beneficial to animals, because the fire creates new opportunity for small animals, such as rabbits and so on, to thrive in little plants existing after the fire. Also, the diversity of plants and animals strengthen the biological cycle, which contradicts the reading that fire may destroy animals' habitat.

Thirdly, the fire will not make a huge damage to the Yellow Stone as a tourist attraction in the lecturer's opinion, for the big fire is unusual and it hasn't happened in Yellow Stone since 1988. The tourists will come the next year after fire, which will still stimulate the economy and business in the local area. This point also differs from what is said in the given passage.

All in all, the lecturer has different opinions compared with the passage. She thinks that "let it fire" policy is reasonable, because it has advantages to vegetation and wildlife and will not destroy the local economy.

idealibtUID: 2667256

紫梦于.doc (44.5 KB, 下载次数: 10)

2012-2-7 14:10:08 上传

下载次数: 10

紫梦于UID: 3232379

0208 独立：101031NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is often not a good thing for people to move to a new town or a new country because they will lose their friends

From my point of view, it is often not a good thing for people to move to a new place, since they will lose their friends. The fact is that for every individual, friends are irreplaceable fortune. Faraway from home, it is friends that help you in emergency, listen to your complaints and offer solutions. Friends are the one nothing merits. The specific reasons are listed as follows.

To start with, friends are the one and the only one to apply assistance when we get in trouble. As mature adults, our parents become the elder and it is highly likely for us to live away form hometown, which results in no longer possibilities for us to depend on relatives. Consequently friends, at every crucial time, undoubtedly play a significant role. When we are sick, it is friends who send us to the hospital; when we lost job, it is friends who apply us another opportunity; when we have a quarrel with boyfriends or girlfriends, it is also friends who come up and rebuild our relationships. Thanks to friends, we are accompanied all along our life. However, in a totally new town or country, we tend to have nobody familiar around particularly at the very beginning when help from friends are determined. There is less possibility for us to overcome the difficulties by ourselves, resulted from which we have no alternative but to go back home unwillingly.

Secondly, in this contemporary world with rapid changes and progression, relationship among people become increasingly complicated, that is to say every one is prepared to attain benefits from others and the mere friendship is precious treasure, especially in a new place. Surrounded by this utilitarian conditions, if only we are able to communicate with friends frankly to minimize the pressure on our shoulders! Then just do it, which guaranteed if staying at an old place. Have a party at backyard and you will regain the lost most marvelous moments with friends and with friends only. On the contrary, if we live in a new city, all these entertainments with friends are unrealistic hopes, because friends are probably hundreds of miles away and it takes them one day to come to where we are and another day to go back home, but consider that we only have two days at weekends! Subsequently, we have no friends’ home to release our emotion, which is absolutely unfavorable for mental health.

However, we may have better job opportunities in a new place, especially in big cities like the New York City, followed by busy working all day long even overtime for living. Who will listen to our happiness and sorrow at that time? What substitute is capable of taking care of us as a friend then? Who are ready to provide us with another home just like our own home? All in all, under no circumstances shall we rashly make up our mind to move to a new place, for our dear friends around us. No pains no gains, but dose it deserve?

MELODYSKIINGUID: 2841950

LZ很抱歉改完了吖！！><!!见谅！

idealibtUID: 2667256

紫梦于.doc (37 KB, 下载次数: 3)

2012-2-9 10:49:38 上传

下载次数: 3

laozhanguotoeflUID: 3246339

From my point of view, it is often not a good thing for people to move to a new place, since they will lose their friends. The fact is that for every individual, friends are irreplaceable fortune. Faraway from home, it is friends that help you in emergency, listen to your complaints and offer solutions. Friends are the one是否应该是those nothing merits 可否改为without merits. The specific reasons are listed as follows.
To start with, friends are the one and the only one to apply assistance when we get in trouble. As mature adults, our parents become the elder and it is highly likely for us to live away formfrom hometown, which results in no longer possibilities for us to depend on relatives. Consequently friends, at every crucial time觉得moment更好, undoubtedly play a significant role. When we are sick, it is friends who send us to the hospital; when we lost jobjobs, it is friends who apply觉得give更准确 us another opportunity是否应该为other opportunities; when we have a quarrel with boyfriends or girlfriends, it is also friends who come up and rebuild our relationships. Thanks to friends, we are accompanied all along our life. However, in a totally new town or country, we tend to have nobody familiar around particularly at the very beginning when help from friends are determined. There is less possibility for us to overcome the difficulties by ourselves, resulted from which we have no alternative but to go back home unwillingly.
Secondly, in this contemporary world with rapid changes and progression, relationship among people become increasingly complicated, that is to say every one is prepared to attain benefits from others and the mere friendship is precious treasure, especially in a new place. Surrounded by this utilitarian conditions, if only we are able to communicate with friends frankly to minimize the pressure on our shoulders! Then just do it, whichwhich是指前面的it吗 guaranteedis guaranteed if staying at an old place. Have a party at backyard and you will regain the lost most marvelous moments with friends and with friends only. On the contrary, if we live in a new city, all these entertainments with friends are unrealistic hopes, because friends are probably hundreds of miles away and it takes them one day to come to where we are and another day to go back home, but consider that we only have two days at weekends! Subsequently, we have no friends’ home friends at home to release our emotion, which is absolutely unfavorable for mental health.
However, we may have better job opportunities in a new place, especially in big cities like the New York City, followed by busy working all day long even overtime for living. Who will listen to our happiness and sorrow at that time? What substitute is capable of taking care of us as a friend then? What's the substitute which is capable of taking care of us as a friend then? Who are ready to provide us with another home just like our own home? 是否可以为our own's 避免重复使用home All in all, under no circumstances shall we rashly make up our mind to move to a new place, for our dear friends around us. No pains no gains, but dose it deserve?
内容很丰富，学到了不少词汇和短语，很好很强大
貌似我不应该改你的。。不过既然改了就这样吧。。

紫梦于UID: 3232379

8# laozhanguotoefl 谢谢啦~呵呵~

saturn2011UID: 3071229

不好意思改的晚了！多谢你的替换词和点评，受教啦！！


0208 独立：101031NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is often not a good thing for people to move to a new town or a new country because they will lose their friends+ X- ~. }, H6 `
" e! m# \( U/ Q8 k1 y4 X
From my point of view, it is often not a good thing for people to move to a new place, since they will lose their friends. The fact is that for every individual, friends are irreplaceable fortune. Faraway from home, it is friends that help you in emergency, listen to your complaints and offer solutions. Friends are the one nothing merits. (Friends are the ones nothing merit.)The specific reasons are listed as follows.4 J# W1 |; n+ {' G- @

& c( j- h- J! }9 WTo start with, friends are the one and the only one to apply assistance when we get in trouble. As mature adults, our parents become the elder and it is highly likely for us to live away form hometown, which results in no longer possibilities for us to depend on relatives. Consequently friends, at every crucial time, undoubtedly play a significant role. When we are sick, it is friends who send us to the hospital; when we lost our job, it is friends who apply us with another opportunity; when we have a quarrel with boyfriends or girlfriends, it is also friends who come up and rebuild our relationships. （排比用的好！！）Thanks to friends, we are accompanied all along our life. However, in a totally new town or country, we tend to have nobody familiar around particularly at the very beginning when help from friends are determined. There is less possibility for us to overcome the difficulties by ourselves, resulted from which we have no alternative but to go back home unwillingly. ( c8 E8 z$ B/ g

7 ~9 h: a4 u8 X8 e$ |( ]Secondly, in this contemporary world with rapid changes and progression, relationship among people become increasingly complicated, that is to say every one is prepared to attain benefits from others and the mere friendship is precious treasure, especially in a new place.（赞，这句表达的很充分，也很有说服力） Surrounded by this utilitarian conditions, if only we are（were? 虚拟语气） able to communicate with friends frankly to minimize the pressure on our shoulders! Then just do it, which guaranteed if staying at an old place. Have a party at backyard and you will regain the lost most marvelous moments（感觉有点奇怪耶，是否考虑most去掉？） with friends and with friends only. On the contrary, if we live in a new city, all these entertainments with friends are unrealistic hopes, because friends are probably hundreds of miles away and it takes them one day to come to where we are and another day to go back home, but consider that we only have two days at weekends! Subsequently, we have no friends’ home to release our emotion, which is absolutely unfavorable for mental health.& B* V& D& k) C
* H& B+ \0 B; m  k2 o! a
However, we may have better job opportunities in a new place, especially in big cities like the New York City, followed by busy working all day long even overtime for living. Who will listen to our happiness and sorrow at that time? What substitute is capable of taking care of us as a friend then? Who are ready to provide us with another home just like our own home? All in all, under no circumstances shall we rashly make up our mind to move to a new place, for our dear friends around us. No pains no gains, but dose it deserve? 结尾含义深远的反问，赞！

紫梦于UID: 3232379

第一次定时写，承蒙各位照顾咯~
2月11日 110115NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The main role of the university professor is to educate students rather than to do research.

Nowadays, an increasing number of high school graduates are able to attend university for better education in China. However, plenty of university students complain that they cannot get satisfactory classes because their professors are busy working in their own researches. According to this situation, I strongly argue that the main role of the university professor is to educate students rather than to do research. The reasons are specified as follows.

First, college students pay a large amount of money to get the opportunity to study in university, so it is their right to have great education conditions, which particularly depends on the professors. For students as freshmen in academic life, professors, with their experience and knowledge, are the most suitable ones to give students instructions and advice. Without professors, students tend to make avoidable mistakes in study, which leads to poor results of exams to a certain extent.

Moreover, professor are not only have a duty to do their research perfectly, but also obligated to educate students to the level that they can continue to make valuable contributions to their specific subjects after graduation and the retirement of elder professors. The fact is that it often takes relatively a long time for a university student to become an expert in a certain academic field. As a result, professors are of great importance to take responsibility to pick and choose suitable students, teach them how to find a topic they are interested in and give them suggestion on the patterns to do research by themselves.

Nevertheless, researches are also significant to professors, as well as the benefits of the university and even the whole country. By bring up students to become the next generation of professors and researchers, professors accomplish their mission fully and successfully. In a word, it is not only professors' honor but obligations.

nikiniki333UID: 2673802

已改～～～

towardsBTUID: 3236375

改好了~

紫梦于UID: 3232379

2月13日独立
It is common sense that students often have questions about the subjects they are studying. When my classmates are faced with this problem, I will suggest them asking me rather than a professional tutor for help, because it leads to a more satisfactory result. The specific reasons are illustrated as follows.

To start with, working together with classmates is more efficient. Studying in the same classroom, classmates' understanding of knowledge tends to be at the similar level. As a result, we have to work together in certain ways, such as discussion, to solve the problem coming up. It is the training not only for me but also for my classmates so that it is of great possibility for all of us to understand the problem deeply and thoroughly. At the same time, I absolutely benefit through this process, which contributes to a win-win model.

In addition, my classmates and I may come up with a fresh approach towards the difficulties they meet by discussing with me. If they turn to an expert directly, they may miss the priceless opportunity for them to innovate, which is definitely a painful loss not only for us but also for the academic field. Furthermore, the expert will just tell my classmates his way of dealing with the problem, which tends to result in their shallow understanding of the question. My desk mate is exactly a vivid example. Lazy as him, he was not willing to spend time in considering the problems. Therefore he went the tutor’s office and took down all his explanations. Unfortunately, when encountering the same problem alone in the exam, he was astonished that he was not able to solve it by himself!

However, Asking a professional tutor for help bring some obvious advantages such as it seems to get the exact answer quickly. After they appreciate the show put on by the tutor, who can guarantee that my classmates really absorb the knowledge completely? All in all, asking me for help is the most suitable choice.

laozhanguotoeflUID: 3246339

已改完