阿达的托福作文练习本

iBT20120304UID: 3228839

感谢 蹲着的猫 的细心修改和建议！

iBT20120304UID: 3228839

2月24日，独立机经作文
32分钟完成

Movies are worth watching only when they can teach something about realism.


There are many people who believe that movies are worth watching only when they teach something about realism. After a serious pondering over this issue, I could hardly agree with the statement. My reasons are listing as followed.

To begin with, movies are not necessarily designed to offer practical guidance to people, although some actually are very informative and instructive. For instance, some movies tell an old folklore hundreds or even thousands of years ago which is quite far away from people living nowadays. Even though they offer very little practical knowledge to people in real world, many still enjoy watching them. The reason might be very simple - as my roommate always says, it is fun!

Another critical point is that, it is largely dependent on the temporal mindset of the watcher that whether or not a movie could teach something about realism. For example, many people might have watched a very famous movie named Forest Gump, with the leading actor of Tom Hanks. I have watched it more than ten times ever since 1994, when the movie was released. When I first watched it as a teenager, I could not help laughing, since the plot of this movie was so entertaining and amusing. As I grew up a little bit, I learned much knowledge about many pivotal moments in American history from Forest's life experience. Several years later, watching this movie made me value more of love and friendship. The latest watching, however, bring me a notion in my mind that life is like a feather drifting in the sky, as the movie exactly shows in the beginning. Instead of teaching me something about realism, it seems that the story, although completely fictitious, enables me to mentally evolve into a more mature person. As it is with the movie Forest Gump and with me, so it is with the other movies and with the other people.

To sum up, I hold a negative view toward the statement that movies are not worth watching if they could not teach something about realism.

wqr619UID: 3007621

不错不错~~
提了一些乱七八糟的建议~~~提错了见谅~~~

iBT20120304UID: 3228839

感谢 蹲着的猫 的宝贵建议！
我写完这篇文章后，也觉得有些别扭。

我的分论点其实有两个：
一，电影本身并不是用来教会人们一些现实的东西，例如有的讲述古老传说的电影或者是科幻片（我写的时候不知道怎么表述），离人们的生活很远，但是非常fun，很受人们喜欢。
二，从另一个角度，一部电影可能带给不同的人以不同的收获，因此无法利用这一单一标准来评论这部电影到底是否worth watch。对于某些人来说，它可能教会一些现实的技巧或知识，但是对于其他的人，可能并非如此。例如阿甘这部电影，有的人可能学会了勇气，看到了希望，了解了美国历史，也有些人，可能仅仅是喜欢这部电影轻松的气氛，或者特别喜欢电影里的某些温情画面。（我举例子确实有问题，不够cogent）

再次感谢您的修改。^_^

张璞UID: 2948450

2月22日作文
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1337828&extra=
请楼主帮忙修改

张璞UID: 2948450

请楼主帮忙批改   你贴中的2月8日同名独立作文
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is often not a good thing for people to move to a new town or a new country because they will lose their friends.

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1337828&extra=
另外感慨句：楼主功底太强了！句式又丰富！真强人！

张璞UID: 2948450

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Parents shouldallow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their ownmistakes.2 G8 k# ^1 T9 N
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A most recent online survey, conducted bySina.com, China's largest portal website, shows that 78% of parents confessthat it is hard for them to watch the children make mistakes while standingbeside. An online discussion was triggered then, with sharply risen volume, aswhether parents should allow children to make mistakes and let them learn fromtheir own mistakes, or help children hand by hand to fix the problems. Myviewpoint is that parents should let children make mistakes in most cases.

It is through making mistakes that children beginto grow up. For example, a newly born baby would find great difficulty instanding by his own feet. Before managing to walk by himself, he would fallover to ground hundreds or even thousands of times. Every time he fails tostand up, he tries to work harder on it. It is no doubt that without thenumerous times of failure, a baby would not be able to stand up and walk ontheir own feet.
As it is with babies, so it is with children, who always find difficultyin learning. /
[By the same logic, children whomade mistakes, subsequently, failed in one exam are capable of overcoming thosedifficulties and making up as well]
Mistakes, painful and cruel as they are,/[Nomatter how painful and cruel they are, mistakes] are actually very helpful and indispensable to children’s growth.* {;r, w. x/ k! W% Y) A- p
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Parents who help children too much in avoidingmistakes might create opposite effect in the long run. Too much help fromparents would spoil children and make/render
them feel afraid of making mistakes. Whenever encountered with troublesin future, instead of fixing the problem by themselves, they might call theothers for help, since their ability in dealing with complex situation is notpracticed or well developed. Chances are that they would be less confident thantheir counterparts/peers who are more independent.

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It should also be noted/[连用两个should会不会尴尬？可否改为：I appeal or I suggest] that parents should offer immediate help in certain cases, according to differentsituations. For instance, there are many children who are caught stealing orinjecting drugs,
consequently, get infectionsor lost their precious lives.
In these serious andurgent cases/situations, parents should neverhesitate to interfere. Otherwise, the cost of the children’s mistakes might betoo much to afford.8 l- j# D5 f' Y4 {$ o


To sum up,I agree with the statement that parents should allow children to make mistakesin most cases. However, certain mistakes that are fatal or too expensive shouldbe avoided very immediately, with parents’ help.
楼主这篇文章
似乎第三段的转折有点突然哈！
建议开头呼应一下，it depends ……什么的
貌似主题段没用 firstly secondly finally之类的词来表明文章结构，是故意的吗？我个人认为
有标志词好些哈！
第一段中的例子是真的数据还是编纂的哪？楼主大脑容量很强大啊！
还是要感慨下
楼主的句式真丰富！遣词造句也很标准哪！
学习中~共勉哈！

iBT20120304UID: 3228839

感谢 张璞(~pu子~) 的认真细致的修改以及富有价值的建议！

我的第一段中的数据是自己根据写作需要来凭空捏造的。因托福作文只测试语言表达能力，并不对论据的真实性提出要求。

iBT20120304UID: 3228839

2月25日  机经作文  30分钟限时完成

Some jobs can pay high salaries but require employees to leave their family and friends. some jobs pay few salaries but allow employees staying with family and friend. Which job do you prefer?


There are many people who choose high-pay jobs which require them to leave their family and friends. If I were met with the dilemma as whether to work near home with lower salary or far away from home with higher salary, I would not hesitate a minute to choose the job that could allow me to stay with my family and friends.

First, I have always believed that the greatest source of happiness come from family and friends, rather than high salary. It is family and friends who people would immediately share and be shared with happy events. Moreover, no matter what mistakes people make, chances are that their families and friends would always trust and support him. For example, when I was a little child, I was so lucky to have my parents both working in the town where we live. Every night while we were having dinner together, I shared with my parents what I learnt each day in school. My parents were so glad to be told my every little success. That was such beautiful memory that I would never forget. Thus, it is very critical that people spend more time being with family and friends.

Second, leaving family and friends would inevitably create a lot of unpleasant problems. For example, one of my roommates in college, who is now serving a key position in Microsoft Company in America, has confided to me several times about his regret of leaving China to work in America. He did make plenty of money and achieved a lot in his career. Yet, when his father passed away two years ago, as the only child, he was not able to come back due to several urgent projects waiting to be finished. As a very traditional Chinese, he secretly shared with me that he would never forgive himself. It turns out that he is not an isolated instance. I also have a few undergraduate classmates who are now working in Kenya with extremely high salary, yet they all find that they have encountered great difficulty in finding a soul mate there. Such practical issues need to be seriously considered before choosing to work far away from home.

Overall, I prefer the jobs that could allow me to spend a lot of time with family and friends. After all, life is not about making money. To me, what matters most is our own happiness and our intimacy with family and friends.

张璞UID: 2948450

2月8日
独立作文
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Itis often not a good thing for people to move to a new town or a new countrybecause they will lose their friends.;Y, `( V% o, ?4 v8 y: y
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There are some people who believe that people shouldavoid moving to new towns or countries, for fear that they might lose their previous friends. This might be truea few decades ago, when communication technology was under development.However, after a serious pondering, I hold a negative view on this issue.0 p- b0 D- M7 q# e% u6 P- U( O
First, moving to new places nowadays does not necessarilymean that people would lose their friends. With the help of the flourishing anddiversified communication technology, people now could connect to each other ina way which was
inconceivable onlya few generations ago. Text message, voice message, telephone, e-mail, MSN, andso on, all could very conveniently and quickly deliver message to othersthousands miles away. Just in a fewseconds, people could reach to[reach是vt. to好像应该删掉吧？reachto 是到达的意思哦!] their friends by
using
any of the above means. At the same time, bothstatistics from Face book and YouTube shows that people nowadays share their lives are much more than ever in history to the others.
(这句有点别扭哈。改为：At the same time, it is shown clearly bystatistics from both Face book and YouTube shows that people nowadays are morelikely to share their lives than ever before. )
Never have people connected so tightly before/ historically. Although far awayfrom friends
/previously living nearby/(whomight live nearby previously), many people are maintaining verygood or even better relationship.

In addition, moving to new town or new country would bring new friendsto people's lives, which is very interesting and fun.
/ (diversify our lives).
For example, last fall my best friend Steve has left China for America toget a Master's Degree in Psychology at Harvard University.Through telephone and Internet he shares with me his incredibly wonderful lifein Boston.He now has made dozens of friends from all over theworld. They share great moment together, irrespective of culture, race andother backgrounds. Not long ago, Steve told me that he was planning a safaritrip to Kenya nextsummer to watch the Great Wildebeest Migration, with the guidance of one of hisclassmate, who is from Kenya.He said he could not wait for that. Obviously he is enjoying his new lifein America somuch.
Thus, instead of worrying that people might lose their friends, Isuggest people try more places to enjoy their lives. The advancement intechnology would make it increasingly easier to connect to their previousfriends. What is more, life would be so wonderful that people collect friendsas life goes on.

楼主写的我泪奔了！

实力啊！例子很具体生动！很有说服力！

词汇强大！句式多样！

楼主牛人！膜拜中！

张璞UID: 2948450

阿达~记得帮我改一下 2月22日的作文呀！
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1337828&extra=

张璞UID: 2948450

请阿达抽空帮我批改一下！非常感谢！
2010年6月19日机经独立作文
When people need to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, somepeople prefer to use e-mail or text messaging. Others lie to use telephone orvoice message. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your answer.
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... xtra=#pid1775749590

iBT20120304UID: 3228839

感谢 张璞(~pu子~) 对我的作文的认真修改和建议！很受用。:)

wqr619UID: 3007621

改晚啦~~~不好意思~~~