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[优秀习作] issue133 [复制链接]

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Pisces双鱼座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2003-8-22 16:31:02 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
133"The problems of modern society have led many people to complain: 'We live in terrible times.' Yet, given the choice, no one today would prefer to live in any other time."

I fundamentally agree with the speaker that none of today's people, if given the choice, would choose to live in any other time other than modern society. Although there exist many pressing problems in modern society, they really have a dwindling tendency as compared with any previous time.

It should be admitted that many pressing problems such as wars, international conflicts, poverty, disease, unemployment, etc. still exist in contemporary society. The War waged by America against the Sadam authority in Iraq laid aside many people's lives. The conflicts between the Middle East still erupted at intervals. Many undeveloped countries can not solve the poverty problems and they still can not meet the necessary need for many people’s survival. There is no denying that some fatal diseases such as AIDS, Cancer, the recently rampant epidemic disease-SARS, still put people's lives in the edge of danger. Still, voluminous workers are laid off by the introduction of the assembly-line and the automation in plants. Undoubtedly, no effective solution can be put forward to address them entirely nowadays.

However, after a careful comparison and a holistic assessment between today's society and the past one, a conclusion can be safely drawn that we really live in a world that is better than any other society. In the field of technological improvements, the quality of life is enhanced tremendously. Modern household equipments, fast transportation vehicles, automatic operations in working places, advanced medical instruments etc, all serve as examples to demonstrate that the staggering changes that modern technology endows us. Admittedly there still exists many unemployed workers, nonetheless the average living standards are improved than that of any other times; although some fatal diseases are still intractable, yet myriads of diseases that threatened our ancestors can be cured now and the number of the fatal diseases is gradually decreasing annually. One can go no further to see that the life expectancy of today's people increase ten of years than our forefathers.

As for the political field, today's political environment is more stable and peaceful than ever before and the international relationship becomes increasingly harmonious. Admittedly, wars and conflicts still exist in this world. However, the number of them has been reduced and the scale has been limited in several regions. No longer are there international-wide wars such as World War One and World War Two early in this century. More and more national leaders now stress more importance the economic development and political stability than the martial campaigns. This point can be easily demonstrated by the increasing of today's international communication and cooperation. Consequently, no one, if possible, will like to choose the tottering government and unsafe society while giving up stable and prosperous today's society.

Overall, both the advances of people's life quality brought by the high technology and the political stability provide evidence that we are living a world that is better than any previous one. Although there are still many pressing problems that plaguing our society, but I have the faith that they will be gradually eradicated by high-tech and people's civilization at last.
Never,never,never,never give up !!
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荣誉版主 Sub luck

沙发
发表于 2003-8-22 17:58:56 |只看该作者
feier啊,别着急,人都有一个情绪的涨落
像我,从礼拜一开始每天上下午各一篇,一个礼拜都当成两个用了
而且Wednesday的时候终于找到了一种思路可以保证45min

但是今天,按理说应该加强巩固一下那个方法的,并且在内容上尝试提高
可是我从早上一起床就觉得不太想写东西,下午睡了一觉起来之后才写了一篇
45min,内容很差劲,写完了也就扔一边,根本不看了

我想可能是到了一个情绪低潮期吧,需要其他方法调整和休息一下,但是总之都会过去的
一时之失该放就放,不必太在意了

一会儿把修改稿贴上来
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荣誉版主 Sub luck

板凳
发表于 2003-8-22 18:28:12 |只看该作者
133"The problems of modern society have led many people to complain: 'We live in terrible times.' Yet, given the choice, no one today would prefer to live in any other time."

I fundamentally agree with the speaker that none of today's people, if given the choice, would choose to live in any other time other than modern society. Although there exist many pressing problems in modern society, they really have a dwindling tendency as compared with any previous time. There exist好像并不很舒服, dwindling tendency还不如直接用动词来写

It should be admitted (admittedly)that many pressing problems such as wars, international conflicts, poverty, disease, unemployment, etc. still exist in contemporary society. The War waged by America against the Sadam (两个d) authority in Iraq laid aside many people's lives. The conflicts between the Middle East still erupted(现在时) at intervals. Many undeveloped(undeveloped听上去好像惨了点,是不是用underdeveloped或者developing?) countries can not solve the poverty problems and they still can not meet the necessary(fundamental) need for many people’s survival. There is no denying that some fatal diseases such as AIDS, Cancer, the recently rampant epidemic disease-SARS, still put people's lives in the edge of danger. Still, voluminous workers are laid off by the introduction of the assembly-line and the automation in plants. Undoubtedly, no effective solution can be put forward to address them entirely nowadays. 线索感觉不强,哪怕例子之间适当使用transition也要好。而且不妨cannot be solved immediately给强调一下,就不用依赖于堆例子了。

However, after a careful comparison and a holistic assessment between today's society and the past one, a conclusion can be safely drawn that we really live in a world that is better than any other society. In the field of technological improvements, the quality of life is enhanced tremendously. Modern household equipments, fast transportation vehicles, automatic operations in working places, advanced medical instruments etc, all serve as examples to demonstrate that the staggering changes that modern technology endows us. Admittedly there still exists (不舒服)many unemployed workers, nonetheless (前面是admittedly后边是nontheless又没有多余的逗号,你自己再读一读有没有不对劲的感觉)the average living standards are improved than that of any other times(are improved than根本不搭配); although some fatal diseases are still intractable, yet (though but是不对的,though yet最好也不要用)myriads of diseases that threatened our ancestors can be cured now and the number of the fatal diseases is gradually decreasing annually. One can go no further to see that the life expectancy of today's people increase ten of years than our forefathers. 这里再写个结论

As for the political field, today's political environment is more stable and peaceful than ever before and the international relationship becomes increasingly harmonious. Admittedly, wars and conflicts still exist in this world. However, the number of them has been reduced and the scale has been limited in several regions. No longer are there international-wide (wars除了内战就是外战,这么分类不好) wars such as World War One and World War Two early in this century. More and more national leaders now stress more importance (stress more heavily on)the economic development and political stability than the martial campaigns. This point can be easily demonstrated by the increasing of today's international communication and cooperation. Consequently, no one, if possible, will like to choose the tottering government and unsafe society while giving up stable and prosperous today's society.

Overall, both the advances of people's life quality brought by the high technology and the political stability provide evidence that we are living a world that is better than any previous one. Although there are still many pressing problems that plaguing our society, but I have the faith that they will be gradually eradicated by high-tech and people's civilization at last

写得一般。4分肯定有了,5分估计还不行。
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Pisces双鱼座 荣誉版主

地板
发表于 2003-8-22 19:50:59 |只看该作者
谢谢imong 的鼓励和批改。

我再改改......
Never,never,never,never give up !!

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Scorpio天蝎座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2003-8-23 01:02:04 |只看该作者

to feier521和你那篇一样

刚刚好四十五分钟,改了一下
The problems of modern society have led many people to complain: 'We live in terrible times.' Yet, given the choice, no one today would prefer to live in any other time.

Generally, I agree with the speaker of the title statement that the times we are living in now is in some sense terrible, for the serious pollution, unending unemployment, the explosion of the population, and so forth. However, it is almost impossible for everyone to go back thousands of years to live another life like our ancestors.

On one hand, admittedly, it is the science and technology which bring human beings much more comfortablity and help us to explore the unknown world better than ever before. It is also them that bring many negative influences, such as the green-house effects, the nuclear weapon, and the explosion of big metropolises. Human beings are just live in a world full of terrible things; and it seems that there are no good and efficient solutions for some problems. For instance, as the wide use of insecticides and other chemical reagents, most of which are poisonous, the balance of the nature is disturbed, and many species are in the danger of extinct. Moreover, when the poisonous chemical reagents are eaten by people along with food and water, they would do fatal harm to people, such as the disaster in Japan in 50s. When people drank the water contained lead, they got horrible disease: the infants are congenitally deformed babies when they were born. Thereby, when science and technology bring us cars, televisions, computers and many other innovations to make our life much more efficient and comfortable, they also bring us terrible things, which, however, seem more and more serious.

On the other hand, as the society is more and more complicated and the competition is severer, human beings are now under unprecedented pressure from every facet of the society. In this personal capacity emphasized society, individuals must study and work diligently all the time to keep their jobs, to support their families and the like. Take the students in China now for example. Students in China now, whatever pupils, middle school students or college students, have to study industriously with little spare time not to be eliminate through selection and to keep the pace with continuous change of the county. Compared to their parents, they live busier and higher-pressure lives.

However, ironically, there is almost no one who likes to go back to the ancient times when many people are complaining:"we live in terrible times. That is in that although people are living in the clamorous cities full of crimes and pollution, they can not bear the lives without TVs or cars; although many man are suffering from insomnia as the sever competition, they can not live lives without rivals and achievements in their careers. Human beings are the creators as well as the products of the society. In most cases, one would only suit the society in which he lives his or her life. For example, though America is more developed than China, one Chinese who is living in America would likely to cherish his or her Chinese traditions and cultures, as he or she has been instilled Chinese morality and standards since he or she was born. So, if one went back to the ancient times, he would have not only complains about the material circumstance but also the culture and traditions. And often, the latter is more unbearable.

In conclusion, maybe people would complain this or that in modern times; and it is also the truth that life is sometimes terrible now. It is more than difficult for one to go back to the ancient times to live another kind of life.
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发表于 2004-9-3 21:59:14 |只看该作者

Re: 我也好些日子没贴文章了,堕落啦,唉!好写的都写这么差(issue 133),还改

is it possible that "any other time" refers to future as well as to past?

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RE: issue133 [修改]
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