【daily writing 作文特训小组】小狮子的作文帖

sillydsUID: 2985444

跟你一组的，不好意思，明晚回来会补改你的作文啊

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1332678-1-1.html

美蓝UID: 3211855

改好啦~

xiesisiminervaUID: 2997765

谢谢你的批改，我对第三段做了如下修改：
Instead of more preparation for working, more attention should be paid to setting up general courses, reducing the power of the administrative staffs and inclining the professors , improving the teaching methods of college teachers as well as recruiting remarkable professors .

17# 美蓝

xiesisiminervaUID: 2997765

2月10日 101203NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently.
提纲：题型：二者选一。例子----------害处：1遇到困难，自己不努力解决，倾向于向他人求助。2，不利于良好品质的培养，小时候让别人代劳，长大后会不会抄袭。自主的益处：1，培养独立思考，解决问题的能力。2，培养坚强的品质。让步：向老师要求减少作业量，做一些建议或者帮忙安排时间表，以及支持和鼓励。
It was late in Sunday night, my little sister is still busy with doing the assignment her teacher offered. This poor little girl seemed obviously overwhelmed by the homework .In order to make sure that she sleep soundly, I helped her to do her reading report. The next day, she came back from school weeping. No sooner asked than she crying to me that I was called a dishonest girl all because of me. This provokes my thinking. Instead of helping with her work, I should encourage her to do work on her own.
Why? Although I helped her finish her work in time, I does harm to her in the cultivation of independent abilities, let alone the shape of her virtue. If things go on like this, is there a possibility that she tend to turn to others for help first instead of self-thinking when confronted with hard staff? Or will she get used to copy other’s work that she thought it is a certain thing to do. What’s more, labeled with dishonesty, will she feel guilty and then feel herself inferior? What a thing I have done.
On the contrary, encouraging children to do their work independently will benefit them from two aspects. On one hand, it can cultivate their ability of critical thinking , enhance the capability of solving problem. On the other hand, letting them work independently sharp the children and make them strong when facing difficult time in the life.

Then what can parents do? One is to support them by helping make the time schedule and have positive advice when they feel short in doing their assignment. The other is making a suggestion to teachers for less homework.
All in all, it is a better strategy for parents to encourage children to do their work independently.

shibin11UID: 3228029

你的综合在哪呢。。。。

sillydsUID: 2985444

Students in college or university, claim officials[the claimed official institutions] in ministry of education, should be offered more preparation before they start working. No, say the students: we need more time for critical thinking. These days, it is a lack of self-value, far more than working pressure, that put sand in the wheels of students in 21th century China.
Nowadays, a variety of career planning[加上courses] emerged in many schools range from[ranging from] middle school to universities, as a result of the fact that lots of undergraduates cannot find jobs[due to the difficulties in finding jobs for the undergraduates]. In order to recruit more students[In order to increase the employment rate], more and more universities emphasis on[put emphasis on注意emphasis词性] the training of skills used in a particular career. Specialized courses occupied the curriculum schedule with the assignment fulfill the afterclass time.[语法有问题，不明这句的意思] Students are busy dealing with them and had[have] little time thinking of the question about what they really need. As a result, the university just becomes another high school or vocational school.
University should not become a factory which training practiced worker but a palace that[改为where好一些] we become who we are to be. the latter is  [Only the latter one can be] what we call education. The true education serves society by providing[should serve as] a leavening of men of understanding, of perception, and wisdom. They are our intellectual leaders, the critics of our culture , the defender of our free traditions, and the instigators of our progress. They serve society by examining its function, appraising its needs, and criticizing its direction. And that is why the university becomes university.
More attention should be paid to setting up general courses, reducing the power of the administrative staffs and inclining the professors, improving the teaching methods of college teachers as well as recruiting remarkable professors .[这段太简短，没有把里面的内容展开，应把一两个点展开来说明这些比more job preparation更重要]

In brief, the graduate need not more preparation before the start working , even though it does, that is the minor thing we should care about when considering the reformation of universities.

文章总体不错，有语法问题，观点的论证没有展开，
有些语句表达不是很清晰，纯属个人意见

2.9 独立  https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1332678-1-1.html

stancy_zhangUID: 3235143

修改后的文哈，可能有些地方改的不对，可以指出互相学习呐~

xiesisiminervaUID: 2997765

谢谢啦~ 21# sillyds

kaddishingUID: 3247184

It was late in Sunday night, and my little sister is still busy with doing the assignment her teacher offered. This poor little girl seemed obviously overwhelmed by the homework .In order to make sure that she sleep soundly, I helped her to do her reading report. The next day, she came back from school weeping. No sooner had I asked why than she crying started to cry, to metelling me that
Ishe(这里的人称混乱了哈) was called a dishonest girl all because of me. This provokes my thinking. Instead of helping with her work, I should encourage her to do work on her own.(偏离文章大意，题目问的是是否要求父母帮助孩子做作业，你开头段自始至终没有提到父母哈)
) \& g  k: u, N* yWhy? Although I helped her finish her work in time, I does harm to her in the cultivation of independent abilities, let alone the shape of her virtue. If things go on like this, is there a possibility that she tend to turn to others for help first instead of self-thinking when confronted with hard staff? Or will she get used to copy other’s work that she thought it is a certain thing to do.（这句话有点不扭你想表达什么呢） What’s more, labeled with dishonesty, will she feel guilty and then feel herself inferior?（？？） What a thing I have done.. L  i- [$ O8 }6 V) r4 m  K
On the contrary, encouraging children to do their work independently will benefit them from two aspects. On one hand, it can cultivate their ability of critical thinking,（批判性思维，这里用independent thinking更好） enhance the capability of solving problems. On the other hand, letting them work independently sharp(你确定有这种用法，我查了下sharpen才是动词用法) the children and make them strong when facing difficult time in their life.
6 p2 Z* }, U, Z) V& c1 Z: ]$ H0 h) W( o, C& v4 m2 f
Then what can parents do? One is to support themchildren by helping make the time schedule and have give positive advice when they feel short in doing their assignment. The other is making a suggestion to teachers for less homework.(The other is making a suggestion to teachers that they should assign less homework 因为这里的目的会显得很不明确)  `4 Q, H0 T6 k! R8 c0 ~9 D
All in all, it is a better strategy for parents to encourage children to do their work independently.5 e' s9 z+ L6 n8 o! T' G


总：1.字数明显不够哈，组号凑足400个字
2.开头段没有点明parents
3.第二段的论述显得条理不够清楚，没有后面的一段论述来的清晰，因为有了one is …the other is的连接
4．有较多的语法错误哈，还有一些句子有待斟酌

kaddishingUID: 3247184

==不知道为什么传上来字体这么小，调也调不好。。。。

stancy_zhangUID: 3235143

别忘了改我的哈~

xiesisiminervaUID: 2997765

2.11独立

laozhanguotoeflUID: 3246339

谢谢你的夸奖啊，我只是小菜鸟，还有很多要学的

xiesisiminervaUID: 2997765

2.14日独立

nikiniki333UID: 2673802

最近几日好厌恶写作文啊，每次写都像煎熬，但缓了两天，重新开始写作文！！
改晚了，sorry～～