求作文批改与评价

天娇UID: 3172457

这是本人的处女作，一定有很多不足，希望朋友们多帮忙~谢谢啦
题目：Some people say:"a man can succeed,it's because his work,and it's nothing to do with his luck." Do you agree or disagree this idea?

In our life,there're many people succeed and many people failed.A group  of people hold that success of a man all depends on his hard work and has nothing to do with his luck.Contratrily,other people disagree this idea.In my opinion,we should think it over objectly.
    We are supposed to give priority to hard work in all stages of life.Nowadays,we are easily left behind unless we work hard in the competitive society.It's impossible to succeed for us without our endeavor.Every scientist has done thousands of experimets before he succeeded.
    Hard work is a significant factor to success,so is luck.Such frustrated the person with hard work is,if he is not lucky enough.On one hand,an oppotunity is too important for us.Various talent can be shown as long as you has an oppotunity.According to your behavior,better life will come to you.Thus,seize every oppotunity please.On the other hand,another more important factor is a visionary.The more visionaries you meet,the easier you succeed.Not only can a visionary  observes your ability and explores your potential ,but also  he is able to give you some valuable tips and vice versa.For example,Nicolous Copenicus,one of the greatest astronomers,came up with his theory.It's unlucky that nobody opposed it until he died too many years ago.His theory was buried into blindness and his intelligance was end up being igored.
    Being successful is not a easy progress for everyone.Not only should we work hard but we has a piece of lucky cake as well.However,luck is only a ladder to help you climb higher. Indeed,hard work is the cornerstone of success.
         朋友们有什么好的提高方法和建议？

天娇UID: 3172457

有哪位朋友帮帮忙啊？