issue147 写的不好，砖头大大的需要！

feier521UID: 109747

147"Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."

I concede that tradition and modernization are at times incompatible, however, it does not follow that one must choose between them in that they are not mutually exclusive. The best way is to coordinate them and exert their own advantages for contemporary society.

Admittedly, modernization makes some cultural traditions no longer fitted to today's society, and the two aspects often conflict with each other. For instance, the honesty is one of excellent traditions in the ancient time, while today it confronts severely challenge by the modern living style or the modish thoughts. In years past, women must maintain total chaste to their husbands, and the citizens must be honest to and obey their emperor without any confrontation. Nevertheless, today's ever-increasing divorce rate shows that this tradition is facing up with collapse, and still various people can participate in the policy-making of the government and question the authority, which demonstrates that no longer are people blindly honest to the government. This conflict is also patent even in the two next generations. This is why the generation gap exists, and why many youngsters complain that their parents can not understand them at all.

However, many brilliant traditional legacies passed by our ancestors are perpetuated and constitute today's civilization which evinces that they are not necessary incompatible with modernization. The affectionateness to the children and the respect to the elder are still the basic mores that almost advocated by every society. The friendship is also the enduring tradition. The bravery and resolution expressed by Jefferson in War of Independence and Lincoln in Civil War are often used to educate today’s children, and so on. All of them consist of today's moral system and play an important role in defining a culture. One can go further to see this role of moral values by examining the differing characters and beliefs expressed by people from different societies.

Although someone may argue that modern technologies lessen the moral sense of contemporary people. For instance, the automatic assembly-line and the computers make people increasingly impersonal and estrange people from effective and face-to-face communication. However, this does not mean the modern technologies conflict with the traditional moralities. In fact, it is people themselves that make such consequences which have little, if any, to do with the modernization. Fortunately, more and more people already realize the side effects brought by high-tech and modernization, and most of them strive to change them and coordinate the two aspects in a win-win way. Many phenomena can demonstrate this point such as many people call their relatives or send e-mail to friends in festivals to express their missing and care. And businessmen spend more time with their families in their vacations, etc.

All in all, although some today's traditions are challenged by the new ideas and high-tech brought by the modernization, many of them are still valuable today and constitute today's moral standards. Moreover, they can, actually, mutually progress in a compatible way.

GcanadaUID: 118286

总体感觉不错,
第二段相比其他的比较不理想.

feier521UID: 109747

呵呵，限时后，思维和用词就极度的肤浅！
改了很久，思路固定了，根本没法变了。只好改改用词和语法错误。
不象zhuzhu，写的不好还可以推倒重来，彻底革新。

angle123UID: 105697

我倒是觉得倒数第二段不太好，开头第一句话就不太理解，呵呵，可能是我孤陋寡闻把。
还有总是觉得段落顺序按排的不太好，我觉得最后一段讲讲一个社会有传统与现代互相促进比较好
          个人意见

feier521UID: 109747

谢谢你的建议！
是啊，我也觉得那一段不好！听你的，就写传统和现代化互相促进啦

第一句本来想说高科技削弱了人们的道德观念
这样改如何？
Although someone may argue that modern technologies may make people lose their moral responsiblity to some extent, for instance,

香香蕉UID: 128558

147"Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."

I concede that tradition and modernization are at times incompatible, however, it does not follow that one must choose between them in that they are not mutually exclusive. The best way is to coordinate them and exert their own advantages for contemporary society.

Admittedly, modernization makes some cultural traditions no longer fitted to today's society, and the two aspects often conflict with each other(aspects好像是一个事物的两个方面，总觉得不能用于两个事物。这里的aspect刚读起来给人很突兀的感觉，不知道refer to what). For instance, the honesty （honesty前面不用the）is one of （the） excellent traditions in the ancient time（in ancient times/ 注意time和times的意思不同，另外我觉得没必要加the,不确定）, while today it confronts severely（severe） challenge by (with？) the (不用the) modern living style or（and）the (some) modish thoughts. In years past, women （a wife） must maintain total (totally) chaste to their (her) husbands (husband), and the (不用the) citizens must be honest to and obey their emperor without any confrontation. Nevertheless, today's ever-increasing divorce rate shows that this tradition is facing up with collapse, and still (这个用在这里何义？) various people （还是用citizens吧，various也不恰当）can participate in the policy-making of the government (the process of the government’s policy-making) ,and （加上more and more people dare to ）question the authority, which demonstrates that no longer are people blindly honest to the government. This conflict （这里最好再点明一下是什么conflict） is also patent even in the two next generations (好像没这么表达的吧). This is why the generation gap exists, and why many youngsters complain that their parents can not understand them at all.
（此段的论证过程逻辑性欠缺，说服力不够强，且文法有较多错误，许多用法不地道）

However, many brilliant traditional legacies passed (加down) by our ancestors are perpetuated and constitute today's civilization which evinces that they are not necessary (necessarily) incompatible with modernization. The affectionateness to the children and the respect to the elder are still the basic mores that almost advocated by every society. The (不用the) friendship is also the （改用one of the） enduring tradition(s). The (不用the) bravery and resolution expressed by Jefferson in War of Independence and Lincoln in Civil War are often used to educate today’s children, and so on. All of them consist of (constitute) today's moral system and play an important role in defining (为什么用这个词) a culture. One can go further to see (这个表达似乎比较中化，使人看不大明白) this role of moral values by examining the differing （different） characters and (加different) beliefs expressed by people from different societies.

Although someone may argue that modern technologies lessen the moral sense of contemporary people. For instance, the automatic assembly-line and the computers make people increasingly impersonal and estrange people from effective and face-to-face communication. However, this does not mean （that）the (去掉the) modern technologies conflict with the  (去掉the) traditional moralities. In fact, it is people themselves that make such consequences which have little, if any（little已经表示“和modernization无关”了，感觉没必要用if any）, to do with the modernization. Fortunately, more and more people already realize the side effects（片面性？确定是这样表达的吗？请教一下，谢谢。） brought by high-tech and modernization, and most of them strive to change them （指代不明）and coordinate the two aspects（*） in a win-win way. Many phenomena can demonstrate this point (,)such as （for example） many people call (call较口语化，改用telephone) their relatives or send e-mail(s) to friends in festivals to express their missing and care (greeting and regards). And businessmen spend more time with their families in their vacations, etc.

All in all, although some today's (today some) traditions are challenged by the （去掉the）new ideas and high-tech brought by the modernization, many of them are still valuable today and constitute today's moral standards. Moreover, they can, actually, mutually progress in a compatible way.

中式表达较明显，the用得不是很对。不过很多用词和搭配的地方我也不清楚改得对不对，还需要请教。

段落内以及段落之间的衔接不好，逻辑性差一些，比较费解，不知道怎么从这个又讲到那个了。

feier521UID: 109747

哇，这么多的错误。非常感谢香香蕉这么细致的修改！真是当头一棒！
我很多地方的the 都加的不对！用词不恰当（很多人都说我有chingish的味道）， 思维跳跃！
真诚的感谢！

side effects 是副作用，负面影响的意思

香香蕉UID: 128558

最初由 feier521 发布
[B]side effects 是副作用，负面影响的意思[/B]

谢谢！

我修改的很多未必正确，最好再问问其他人：）

explorer-lgUID: 139420

真是佩服feier521啊，好有毅力：）
你第一段写的是有些traditions与现代化格格不入，或是已经过时了，那么就被人们所抛弃。我觉的你举的例子都是写不好的traditions,当然这些有说服力，但我觉的也有一些无所谓好坏的traditions,比如人们以前都用书信联系，那现在是e-mail（不知恰当否）。还有离婚率的例子是否欠妥？离婚不是modernization 的必然结果，而且未必是好事哦。
还有，你举的例子多为思想或moral领域的，还有别的想结婚时的tradition ……代表了一种文化之类的，这样是不是更全面一些。
另外，把你的段序换一下不知可否。先写两者相互促进（第二段），再将modernization 分为科技（四段），思想（一段），文化等方面对traditions的冲击……
呵呵，瞎说一通，feier521不要介意。
你那个图象好可爱哦，不知你是那一个……

feier521UID: 109747

谢谢explore-lg
说的对，本来想说传统忠诚度的瓦解，就举了离婚的例子，确实不大好！
写的时候我就知道没有限定这个modernization，所以就片面理解成科技和思想了。
不是瞎说，非常好的意见。

你的头像也很好看啊（有点象女孩子？），几天不见，差点没认出来？
：） 我？当然是赚便宜的那个啦。

xbdebbUID: 142129

\147"Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."

I concede that tradition and modernization are at times incompatible, however, it does not follow that one must choose between them in that they are not mutually exclusive. The best way is to coordinate them and exert their own advantages for contemporary society.

Admittedly, modernization makes some cultural traditions no longer fitted to today's society, and the two aspects often conflict with each other. For instance, the honesty(loyalty is better according to the followings) is one of excellent traditions in the ancient time, while today it confronts severely challenge by the modern living style or the modish thoughts. In years past, women must maintain total chaste to their husbands, and the citizens must be honest to and obey their emperor without any confrontation. Nevertheless, today's ever-increasing divorce rate shows that this tradition is facing up with collapse, and still various people can participate in the policy-making of the government and question the authority, which demonstrates that no longer are people blindly honest to the government. This conflict is also patent even in the two next generations. This is why the generation gap exists, and why many youngsters complain that their parents can not understand them at all.

However, many brilliant traditional legacies passed by our ancestors are perpetuated and constitute today's civilization which evinces that they are not necessary incompatible with modernization. The affectionateness to the children and the respect to the elder are still the basic mores that almost advocated by every society. The friendship is also the enduring tradition. The bravery and resolution expressed by Jefferson in War of Independence and Lincoln in Civil War are often used to educate today’s children, and so on. All of them consist of today's moral system and play an important role in defining a culture. One can go further to see this role of moral values by examining the differing characters and beliefs expressed by people from different societies.

Although someone may argue that modern technologies lessen the moral sense of contemporary people. For instance, the automatic assembly-line and the computers make people increasingly impersonal and estrange people from effective and face-to-face communication. However, this does not mean the modern technologies conflict with the traditional moralities. In fact, it is people themselves that make such consequences which have little, if any, to do with the modernization. Fortunately, more and more people already realize the side effects( side effect often refers to medicine ,dark side)  brought by high-tech and modernization, and most of them strive to change them and coordinate the two aspects in a win-win way. Many phenomena can demonstrate this point such as many people call their relatives or send e-mail to friends in festivals to express their missing and care. And businessmen spend more time with their families in their vacations, etc.

All in all, although some today's traditions are challenged by the new ideas and high-tech brought by the modernization, many of them are still valuable today and constitute today's moral standards. Moreover, they can, actually, mutually progress in a compatible way.
很清晰的文章，一个很好的paragon

dreamflyerUID: 21967

我说feier嗄，每篇你都说写的不好，每篇其实都不错，你这不是气人呢嘛～

feier521UID: 109747

其实真的是不好的。：（

看看香香蕉改出那么多的错误，感激ing
我自己改了那么久，都没有改出来，
汗颜啊......

happyman2000UID: 136936

实在找不着原帖子,只好在这单独开个场子!

147"Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."

I concede that tradition and modernization are at times incompatible, however, it does not follow that one must choose between them in that they are not mutually exclusive. （你是否决得有些前后矛盾？）The best way is to coordinate them and exert their own advantages for contemporary society.

Admittedly, modernization makes some cultural traditions no longer fitted to today's society, and the two aspects often conflict with each other. For instance, the honesty is one of excellent traditions in the ancient time, while today it confronts （is confronted with）severely challenge by the modern living style or the modish thoughts. In years past, women must maintain total chaste(改成名词chastity)to their husbands, and the citizens must be honest to and obey their emperor without any confrontation. Nevertheless, today's ever-increasing divorce rate shows that this tradition（什么tradition）is facing up with collapse, and still various people can participate in the policy-making of the government and question the authority, which demonstrates that no longer are people blindly honest to the government. This conflict is also patent even in the two next generations. This is why the generation gap exists, and why many youngsters complain that their parents can not understand them at all. 写得很不错了！

However, many brilliant traditional legacies passed by our ancestors are perpetuated and constitute today's civilization which evinces that they are not necessary incompatible with modernization. The affectionateness to the children and the respect to the elder are still the basic mores that almost advocated by every society. The friendship is also the enduring tradition. The bravery and resolution expressed by Jefferson in War of Independence and Lincoln in Civil War are often used to educate today’s children, and so on. All of them consist of today's moral system and play an important role in defining a culture. One can go further to(go no further to see, 这句你也是从rainbow那儿学的吗？) see this role of moral values by examining the differing characters and beliefs expressed by people from different societies. 某些传统与现代是相容的，好！
Although someone may argue that modern technologies lessen the moral sense of contemporary people. For instance, the automatic assembly-line and the computers make people increasingly impersonal and estrange people from effective and face-to-face communication. However, this does not mean the modern technologies conflict with the traditional moralities. In fact, it is people themselves that make such consequences which have little, if any, to do with the modernization.（没看懂！） Fortunately, more and more people already realize the side effects brought by high-tech and modernization, and most of them strive to change them and coordinate the two aspects in a win-win way. Many phenomena can demonstrate this point such as（such as 后面好像接名词吧！你这种用法很少见）many people call their relatives or send e-mail to friends in festivals to express their missing and care. And businessmen spend more time with their families in their vacations, etc. 这段的意思不如前两段清楚。

All in all, although some today's traditions are challenged by the new ideas and high-tech brought by the modernization, many of them are still valuable today and constitute today's moral standards. Moreover, they can, actually, mutually progress in a compatible way.

菲菲，有一段时间没看你的作文了，发现你比以前写得好很多了，小错误比以前少了很多，语言流畅，思路清晰，结构也好！ 你什么时候考？

happyman2000UID: 136936

feier今天跑哪去了？每天就属他在网上泡得最多，今天怎么连帖子都不回？