issue147

xbdebbUID: 142129

Tradition and modernization are incompatible , people must choose one. people
In the title statement ,the author commits a false dilemma between the tradition and modernization which are not mutually exclusive. And I completely disagree with the author .Both modernization and tradition are dispensable for us , we can call a balance between them.
Firstly, the tradition often is seen as the custom, mores, ethics handed down from our ancestors from generation to generation. As an individual nation or people, the culture including the tradition is the bedrock for us to survive which provides us the dignity and pride of our own nation. For example , some Africa American try their best to preserve the traditional rituals and ceremonies to struggle against the assimilation by others and in order to show their status as the individual people. This example illustrates that without the tradition, without the values and pride of an individual nation. Besides, with the globalization, the assimilation of culture are increasingly serious , as a result to preserve the traditional culture are accordingly important and crucial to survive and thrive in the sea of such homoliazitn . Simply put , from the culture angle , tradition paves the way for our independence.

Secondly, the modernization refers to the automation, information and the technology of internet and computer . Even since the industrial revolution , we have almost been submerged in the sea of moderation. With the emergency of convenient transportation tools such as train , automobile, and plane, we evade the confine of the distance and weather , and can go wherever we want as quick as possible. With the inception of automation line in industrial , workers can double and triple their work efficiency . With the introduction of internet, we have been enjoying the unprecedented colorful , vivid and convenient life .Hungry ? Call the on line fast food and soon we can have a delicious meals at home. Boring ? Down load MP3 , or 3-D movie, we are soon absorbed in the happiness of them. Need money, even at night ,we can ask it from the ATM. Simply put ,from the economic angle the modernization also remain the cynosure for our country to advance and for our people to live a convenient life.

Thirdly, if we understand modernization as a sustainable development ,we must synthesis them. Development can only flourish where it is rooted in the culture and tradition since if is linked to the society’ value and call for participation of the whole individualists. For example , Japan absorbed the western modernization while on the other hand retain their traditional values and ultimately achieved a lot. Besides , even some time they are conflicting  we need not reject or discard tradition to keep abreast with the step of the modernization but we can update and modify some traditional ideas which are out of data and impede the advance of modernization. Simply put, we need not scarify the tradition to keep up with the step of modernization
In sum, just like fertilizer and soil to a rose , modernization and tradition are indispensable to our nation and us , the former one stimulate our nation advance and move forward , the latter one provide the basic values and pride as an individual people

木耳UID: 123036

Tradition and modernization are incompatible , people must choose one. people

In the title statement ,the author commits a false dilemma between the tradition and modernization which are not mutually exclusive. And I completely disagree with the author .Both modernization and tradition are dispensable for us , we can call a balance between them.

Firstly, the tradition often is (is和often是不是该换一下位置?)seen as the custom, mores, ethics handed down from our ancestors from generation to generation(from one generation to another好一些). As an individual nation or people, the culture including the tradition is the bedrock for us to survive which provides us the dignity and pride of our own nation. For example , some Africa American(Afro-American) try their best to preserve the traditional rituals and ceremonies to struggle against the assimilation by others and in order to show their status as the individual people(individual people 我觉得不太好。distinctive nation好像好一些）. This example illustrates that without the tradition, without the values and pride of an individual nation.（这句话好像没说完吧？） Besides, with the globalization, the assimilation of culture are increasingly serious , as a result to preserve the traditional culture are (is)accordingly important and crucial to survive and thrive(for a nation) in the sea of such homoliazitn . Simply put , from the culture angle , tradition paves the way for our independence.

Secondly, the modernization refers to the automation, information and the technology of internet and computer . Even since the industrial revolution , we have almost been submerged in the sea of moderation. With the emergency of convenient transportation tools such as train , automobile, and plane, we evade the confine of the distance and weather , and can go wherever we want as quick as possible. With the inception of automation line in industrial , workers can double and triple their work efficiency . With the introduction of internet, we have been enjoying the unprecedented colorful , vivid and convenient life .Hungry ? Call the on line fast food and soon we can have a delicious meals at home. Boring ? Down load MP3 , or 3-D movie, we are soon absorbed in the happiness of them. Need money, even at night ,we can ask it from the ATM. Simply put ,from the economic angle the modernization also remain the cynosure for our country to advance and for our people to live a convenient life.

Thirdly, if we understand modernization as a sustainable development ,we must synthesis them. Development can only flourish where it is rooted in the culture and tradition since if is linked to the society’ value and call for participation of the whole individualists(这句话有些不太清楚）. For example , Japan absorbed the western modernization while on the other hand retain their traditional values and ultimately achieved a lot. Besides , even some time they are conflicting we need not reject or discard tradition to keep abreast with the step of the modernization but we can update and modify some traditional ideas which are out of data and impede the advance of modernization. Simply put, we need not scarify the tradition to keep up with the step of modernization（每一段活都用simply put 缺少变化，换换说法。）

In sum, just like fertilizer and soil to a rose , modernization and tradition are indispensable to our nation and us （and every individual), the former one stimulate our nation advance and move forward , the latter one provide the basic values and pride as an individual people
你是九月一号考吧？

feier521UID: 109747

Tradition and modernization are incompatible , people must choose one.
In the title statement ,the author commits a false dilemma between （the删掉。呵呵我还以为看argument呢） tradition and modernization which are not mutually exclusive. And I completely disagree with the author .Both modernization and tradition are dispensable for us , we can call a balance between them.

Firstly, （the删掉） tradition often is seen as（the）custom, mores, ethics handed down from our ancestors from generation to generation. As an individual nation or people, (the) culture including the tradition is the bedrock for us to survive which provides us the dignity and pride of our own nation. For example , some Africa American try their best to preserve the traditional rituals and ceremonies to struggle against the assimilation by others and in order to show their status as the individual people. This example illustrates that without (the) tradition, without the values and pride of an individual nation(两个without 不能表示“没有什么，就没有什么。”后面的without不能构成一个句子). Besides, with（别扭，because of） the globalization, the assimilation of culture are（is） increasingly serious , as a result to preserve the traditional culture are（is） accordingly important and crucial to survive and thrive in the sea of such homoliazitn（?） . Simply put , from the culture angle , tradition paves the way for our independence(independence?不如用cultural diversity).

Secondly, （the） modernization refers to the automation, information and the technology of internet and computer . Even since the industrial revolution（首字母应大写） , we have almost been submerged in the sea of moderation（？）. With the emergency（emergence） of convenient transportation tools such as train , automobile, and plane, we evade(别扭点break away from) the confine of the distance and weather , and can go wherever we want as quick as possible. With the inception (不恰当)of automation line in industrial（industries） , workers can double and triple their work efficiency . With the introduction of internet, we have been enjoying the unprecedented colorful , vivid and convenient life .Hungry ? Call the on line(online) fast food and soon we can have a delicious meals(meal) at home. Boring ? Down load(download) MP3 , or 3-D movie, we are soon absorbed in the happiness of them. Need money, even at night ,we can ask(get) it from the ATM. Simply put ,from the economic angle the modernization also remain(s) the cynosure(不恰当) for our country to advance and for our people to live a convenient life.

Thirdly, if we understand modernization as a sustainable development ,we must synthesis them（指代不明）. Development can only flourish where it is rooted in the culture and tradition since if（?） is linked to the society’ value and call for participation of the whole individualists（individuals）. For example , Japan absorbed the western modernization while on the other hand retain(maintained如何) their traditional values and ultimately achieved a lot. Besides , even some time（sometimes） they are conflicting we need not reject or discard tradition to keep abreast with the step of （the） modernization, but we can update and modify some traditional ideas which are out of data（date） and impede the advance of modernization. Simply put, we need not scarify(sacrifice) the tradition to keep up with the step of modernization（怎么三段的结尾都是simply put 啊？）

In sum, just like fertilizer and soil to a rose(比喻不错), modernization and tradition are indispensable to our nation and us , the former (one可以去掉的) stimulate(s) our nation advance and move forward , the latter one provide(s) the basic values and pride as an individual people

不错啊，用词很好，但是有些不太恰当。思路也很清晰。小天使什么时候考？：）
加油！！

realturtleUID: 69047

写得不错哦！^_^
第二段论述得很生动
第三段则很理性
最后一段的比喻也很好
我好喜欢
就是simply put可以稍稍换用别的词组代替一下

xbdebbUID: 142129

木耳我9.1在鼎钧  你呢

谢谢你, 我觉得的你一定行的 是我的paragon

xbdebbUID: 142129

非儿 那without , without  怎么表示, 我想表达没有嘛,就没有嘛?
还有inception是个好词, 我在读一篇文章见过一样的用法
the的问提一定改

谢谢斑竹的鼓励, 我+U+U

feier521UID: 109747

without..., there will no ....
我也想不出好词。：）

happyman2000UID: 136936

Tradition and modernization are incompatible , people must choose one. people
In the title statement ,the author commits a false dilemma between the tradition and modernization which are not mutually exclusive. And I completely disagree with the author .Both modernization and tradition are dispensable（indispensable）for us , we can call a balance between them.

Firstly, the tradition often is seen as the custom, mores（morals）, ethics handed down from our ancestors from generation to generation. As an individual nation or people, the culture including the tradition is the bedrock for us to survive which provides us the dignity and pride of our own nation. For example , some Africa American try their best to preserve the traditional rituals and ceremonies to struggle against the assimilation by others and in order to show their status as the individual people. This example illustrates that without the tradition, without the values and pride of an individual nation. Besides, with the globalization, the assimilation of culture are increasingly serious , as a result to preserve the traditional culture are accordingly important and crucial to survive and thrive in the sea of such homoliazitn . Simply put , from the culture angle , tradition paves the way for(好东西呀，下次从我的作文你见到这个词不要见怪哟！) our independence. 感觉对传统的必要性论述得不是太充分！

Secondly, the modernization refers to the automation（自动化automatization）,information and the technology of internet and computer .(你对现代化的理解太简单了吧！) Even since the industrial revolution , we have almost been submerged in the sea of moderation（？）. With the emergency（？？emergence） of convenient transportation tools such as train , automobile, and plane, we evade（break away from the restraint）the confine of the distance and weather , and can go wherever we want as quick as possible. With the inception of automation line in industrial , workers can double and triple their work efficiency . With the introduction of internet, we have been enjoying the unprecedented colorful , vivid and convenient life .Hungry ? Call the on line fast food and soon we can have a delicious meals at home. Boring ? Down load MP3 , or 3-D movie, we are soon absorbed in the happiness of them. Need money(现金，用cash更合适), even at night ,we can ask it from the ATM. Simply put ,from the economic angle the modernization also remain the cynosure for our country to advance and for our people to live a convenient life. 这是现代化的好处了。

Thirdly, if we understand modernization as a sustainable development ,we must synthesis（synthesize） them（指代什么？）. Development can only flourish where it is rooted in the culture and tradition since if （主语呢？）is linked to the society’ value and call for participation of the whole individualists. For example , Japan absorbed the western modernization while on the other hand retain their traditional values and ultimately achieved a lot.(能否详细点？) Besides , even some time they（they指代什么？） are conflicting we need not reject or discard tradition to keep abreast with the step of the modernization but we can update and modify some traditional ideas which are out of data and impede the advance of modernization. Simply put, we need not scarify the tradition to keep up with the step of modernization 理由不是很cogent

In sum, just like fertilizer and soil to a rose , modernization and tradition are indispensable to our nation and us , the former one stimulate our nation advance and move forward , the latter one provide the basic values and pride as an individual people
语言流畅，结构清晰。问题是小错误太多了。另外，你对传统与现代及其关系的论述也不是太充分，感觉很多细节性问题需要论述时，你跳过去了或者绕开了。
批评不对，请指正！

happyman2000UID: 136936

最初由 xbdebb 发布
[B]非儿 那without , without  怎么表示, 我想表达没有嘛,就没有嘛?
还有inception是个好词, 我在读一篇文章见过一样的用法
the的问提一定改

谢谢斑竹的鼓励, 我+U+U [/B]

既不记得no pains, no gains?

happyman2000UID: 136936

流水线用assembly line 不是automation line

jfly2000UID: 42379

同意happyman2000的观点：问题是小错误太多了。另外，你对传统与现代及其关系的论述也不是太充分，感觉很多细节性问题需要论述时，你跳过去了或者绕开了。
段内的语言结构似乎有点问题，感觉不是总分式的，这样老美会晕的
Hungry ? Call the online fast food and soon we can have a delicious meals(meal) at home. Boring ? Down load(download) MP3 , or 3-D movie, we are soon absorbed in the happiness of them.
这段我似乎在书上见过，呵呵，＋u了

feier521UID: 109747

呵呵，是ets 的6分范文里的。
小angle ，plagiarism ：）

xbdebbUID: 142129

最初由 feier521 发布
[B]呵呵，是ets 的6分范文里的。
小angle ，plagiarism ：） [/B]

你真厉害，这样算剽窃吗？　都改词了吗？

xbdebbUID: 142129

另外，你对传统与现代及其关系的论述也不是太充分，感觉很多细节性问题需要论述时，你跳过去了或者绕开了。
批评不对，请指正！

对，我当时写完感觉就是走题了，因为题目重在incompatiable，　也就当然是论述它们的关系了，　可是的关系我觉的一句话足以：．．

小错是太多，可是没时间了．．．

no，．．　no．．　还真没用过，　

谢谢你的批改　很正确！
！

xbdebbUID: 142129

mores（morals）, 　

mores
[ 5mC:ri:z ]
n.风俗, 习惯, 民德, 道德观念－－－金山词吧

也是ok的，